< Spew It Forward!: 03.03


Monday, March 31, 2003

Tell me why......I don't like Mondays...

So lets see, this year is about......DOOM. The Night Club disasters. The freaking Columbia go boom. And last but never least the Iraq Smack Down! That's a lot to fit into the first three months of a year. I'm tired.

Anyhoo, I spent the weekend with my nose in tech manuals and the end result is my new template. Funky, bright and fresh...like me, no, really.

I can see why tech geeks are pasty looking geeks, until you solve the problem......you are a prisoner of your own making, must find the answer *sips coffee** Who needs sleep when there is a solution to the disfunction. Now, If I had the same desire to correct my neurosis that would be wonderful, but alas, I've no time for that......heh.

No parties this weekend, no drinking this weekend, just a geek fest. I'm sure my friends (when they finally notice me missing) will ask.......Cupie where art thou??? Or not......LOL. I guess I have to get back to society today *sigh*. I am feeling less Goddess like and the symptoms of my monthly blood letting have subsided.....whew :oP~ Have a super day!
Sunday, March 30, 2003

Friday, March 28, 2003

Ok, you'll be happy to know that I can publish again. The little orange button came back, so I can assume since it's Friday internet traffic is down because everyone is out partying. I am not partying this evening as I am at one with my fucking inner goddess, I'm losing blood vaginally as I type this....LMFAO. I ache from head to toe and have had little or no desire to be in an upright position for any length of time. I get up, vacuum, pass out for two hours. This is my latest attempt at being upright........It's hard being upright, I might go lay back down, I think I'm sick or perhaps it's a blitzkrieg of neurosis. Aren't ya glad I can publish again?

A Special thanks to my Leftside for being the first person to cross me. Enjoy them!!! xoxo

Enough said..........der.

Alrighty, seems my publish button is gone, hello...........could this be an error, what have I done now........OMFG. Really how is one expected to spew forth their words if one cannot not publish? How can I share with the world??? I'm sure it will get fixed, yeah, that's the ticket! Blogger will fix everything!!! Egads, it just occurred to me that perhaps with the 8 billion soldiers blogging maybe they are somehow getting publishing priority over the 38 yr old white woman who babbles nonsensical spew. *SigH* Well, as I've said, I do this for me.......so here ya go:

I got my period today and I would very much like to rip my fucking ovaries out right now and chuck them at the first person who crosses me today. Thanks and have a super day.
Thursday, March 27, 2003

Um.........
Morning fling

Moo

This is what happens when you actually get some sleep, you wake up, strength replenished, you delete porn, read news and fling cows. Good Fun!
Wednesday, March 26, 2003
War Blogs

Blogsofwar
Kiwwa

Givin a shout out to my boi KillaGB! Yo..Honkey! Thanks for the great Soldier Bloggers linkage....war is bad, mmmmmmmmmmmkay. *BuBbO*
EyEdOLL

EyEdOLL.........

Shit, after some god awful banter that sucked whats left of my brain cells as I watched it.......American Idol my distraction, my.......folly..........My God.........what?......Lee Greenwood?...wha??? The 10 remaining idols sang in concert to "Proud to be an American" by Mr. Lee Greenwood. I'm not a Country Music fan.....but that song......another one of those god damn songs!!! I admit it was a schmaltzy move for the producers to choose that song......and today feeling frazzled, and wasted with no idea what this all will bring........I listened. Then my heart just ached off the monitor as I listened and I'm reminded that's it's no longer about Weapons Of Mass Destruction, it's about "Liberating Iraq"........true....but um.....yeah .

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.


All at once, when I heard them sing this.......I felt.......humbled, ashamed, scared & proud.......Then I fucking cried like a god damn baby......God DAMN American Idol. I mean shit......I've been numb to the Bombings and Orange Alert.....I've not been able to make sense of this lately and BAM.....the freakin Idols made me breakdown and release some anxiety, fuck. Crazy shit.

Well, Allah will be happy to know that we are down 1 Idol. Julia Demato got the kiss off. I'm good with it......I mean I'm not alone in thinking that all big breasted women WITH a waistline shouldn't be voted off! Take yer sorry skinny ass away, off to the Centerfold, off to Vegas........buh bye. So, as our troops head towards Bagdad at this very minute closer to the unknown.... we're proud to be Americans with only 9 Idols left to worship. NEVER question your faith, if ya have it.
I wanna be Sedated

I Wanna Be Sedated

I want a pill that cures it all! I want it to be in suppository form and I want to be the elected distributor for the masses. I want the world to smile and exhale if only for the duration of the cure all pill. I wanna sleep through the night!! Reeeeeeeeelaaaax, bend over. :oP~

My friend suggested I ignore the war, I cannot.....no one should. It has been thrust upon us, how can you ignore the thrust? I was correct in thinking that the market would start it's correction, I was right when I said fucking camouflage would be in the stores and on the runways......fucking eh. It's everywhere. ACK! Too much. me go splat.......:oP~
Tweak Rattle and Roll!

I slept for shit last night. Yesterday was not one of my favorite days, but then again it was not one of the worst either....I woke up didn't I? heh....Anyhoo, the brain was full throttle yesterday.......keeping myself abreast of the WAR efforts, questioning the media's strategy this go round. If anything the media has been in your face, but with positive PRO war spin on this.......can't let the President look bad in any light. As I've said before.....War lies within the shades of gray, it is niether good or bad, but we grow from it......no choice in the matter really.....grow or burn out and fade away.


I spent last night working on my Blog template. I tweaked, I researched, I have no brain left. I tossed and turned all night and my neck is stiff. ACK. I've got Art Walk coming up in April, I should be creating in a more tactile way, but alas.....I code.....or well continue to learn code. I haven't a clue what I can gain from my spewing short of rattling a few nerves (sorry mom) and perhaps amusing a few people. Mmmmkay I'm off to the books for now.
Monday, March 24, 2003

WAR the mother of reality television, already many have been voted off this planet. I watch it for hours until my little mind is over saturated with all the turmoil. It appears that little weasel bitch Saddam is still alive. I don't see why him and Osama don't just hook up, buy a nice lil High Security condo in some unsuspecting African nation. The property values would most likely plummet and what Nation would want both of their sorry asses. I'm appalled at the fools who choose not to believe that our two villians are not connected, those dweebs support each others actions in the name of Allah, shouldn't that be enough? France is still attempting diplomatic measures for Saddam and golly if Russia didn't supply the Iraqis with night vision goggles, but then it should be a fair fight, shouldn't it? I thoroughly believe that the cost of this war will not break our countries bank, when you reallllllly want something somehow the money is there. I guess we really don't want teachers to be paid a livable wage...LOL. As with the Daniel Pearl Video that I watched, I went to the Drudge Report to view the henious and horrific picture of the murdered servicemen, I can't even fathom the families reaction to this, but I truly believe it's important to constantly review the harsh reality of this war...the good and bad. It's grotesque and pisses me off to know end knowing the thousands of POWs we have courtesy of themselves really are being treated (as far as we know) within the laws of the Geneva Convention obviously the Iraqi can't say the same. Anyhow, I'm done with the war spew for today, it's a freakin mindsplat!
Sunday, March 23, 2003

I've just finished reading the letter that my brother Brian wrote just prior to the war breaking out. A soldier missing his wife and his family, a brother wishing he was having a beer with his sis instead of dealing with sand storms. He believes in his mission, and I believe in him and the measure of his mind, he's a fine young man willing to sucker punch evil and deliver freedom. I've no clue as to where in Iraq he is tonight, but I send him uncompromised respect and love. Sara turned 13 this week and Aimee 4 and at the birthday party today, you were in our hearts and thoughts.....godspeed you little asswipe. xoxoxo

Oh boy...........ABC ran the freaking Oscars on eastern time and dumped more war propaganda on us in pacific standard time, the bitches! As if we needed to be reminded of the reality of our now. I thought the Oscars would be escaping it all, then Michael Moore won...dun dun DUN.......Hi, I'm Michael Moore and I'm the shitbitchofcivilliberites.com, and well.......war is bad, mmmkay. Shut your fucking mouth Mr. Moore, or not....hehe....aside from Moore's little......."Fictiticious President" slam, the best part of the Oscars has been that little punk shit emenin winning for best song of the year. Trust me I'm no fan of the white nigga wannabe shizzot, but that fucking song embodies the essence of what a great song is, passion, attitude and perseverence. Word up to the HonkeyInTheNiggaGear. And....... God Save Us All.

LOL! The President said Fuck....heh. ;)

I schmoozed, I did it, I hate kissing up to anyone but damn if I didn't make the effort. I met some intresting people, sneered at smart mouth children and survived to tell the tale. I spoke about Literacy in front of a lot people.......I had the microphone shoved in my face by my interviewer.....I could have smacked the bitch...."could you pull it back a bit" he obliged, though I am fond of metal mesh touching my lips....I don't share that with large crowds. Anyhoo I spoke briefly (saving my anxiety for war issues) I focused on the matter at hand, reading and more importantly reading books bought at my store. I mentioned the release of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 2 times and went back to making bookmarks with a gazillion kids....could ya shoot me! I donated a copy of Walter the Farting Dog for the 'random' drawings and passed out the first chapter of a new book The Day My Butt Went Pyscho: Based on a True Story. Quality literature!
Saturday, March 22, 2003

I have to shmooze at the Literacy Fair today......of course I'm torn and will have my radio with me so that I may hear the treachery. I did take a break from it all last night and watch a few movies and my beloved Law & Order, just the normalcy of a regular television show can be comforting.

Good morning, and a serious der for missing this link yesterday.
Friday, March 21, 2003


and this is why I love the Drudge Report!

LMFAO!!!! Personally, I think we should keep the Statue of Liberty!

Shock and Awe Ok, very intense bombing of Saddam's complexes.....damn....Journalist Peter Arnett was inches from death......damn.

I've rented a load of humorous movies as a source of escape from the Real Time War......it's just freaky as hell to see journalists in tanks.......heading into unknown territories. We've had fatalities 2 Marines and If I'm right a helicoptor went down with American and British Soldiers.....ack ack ack. What would Jay and Silent Bob have to say about all this??? I've been looking at this one blog "Where is Raed" this is real shit people, read it.
Thursday, March 20, 2003

The sheer joy of right now, Beer.

Bahgdad Calling Wow, what a day......in the a.m. I'm all..."hi, wanna book?" and they be all.........."yo, you got dis blue bewk"? Me go, "yo, flip dat ass towards da HonkeyinDaNiggaClothes memo, sup nigga?" The phone rings: "Blawdenbewks, buy 4 bewks geet dee fif........fwee"....heh...."how may I help you?" (short of bloodletting). Caller: "I can't think for myself, help?'' Me: yes, we have that.
Today sucked, fucking surreal morning...........mid morning "live bombings on Iraq"........um..........yeah. Late afternoon, come home, read email, reflect on morning practices, wait for next bombing, wonder why I responded to morning email.......*picks nose*.......oh my.....*ass twitch*....yeah, so today is in the books, word up Dubya ;)
Wednesday, March 19, 2003

As the gloaming ends here, the dawn riddled with bullets has come to Iraq. It has begun, I wanna puke.

Be prepared

Walter the Farting Dog I was introduced to this book about this time last year, I got our buyers to pick it up for the chain. It's a fun book for EVERYONE! My store has personally sold over 200 copies, now that's not Harry Potter numbers but it's more than respectable for a hardcover childrens book. I bring this up because today at work some woman objected to the title......it was offensive.......like a give a rats ass. What's offensive was dirty pink sweatshirt and her 'lift flap' body. More offensive was the ignorance, but what the hell I respect her rather prudish opinion, farts happen, get over it. In a world ready to crown a heros on a daily basis Walter is just that.....a hero. *fart* Oh my!

American Idol update: Reuban, Rooooooooooooooooooben..whoop whoop...dawg! Yes, I know, I KNOW, shameless frivolity indeed, fuck it. The only stress involved in watching this show is clothing choices and a few octave challenged performances.

CNN

A day of reckoning? Other than the fact that I've been crippled with anxiety for the past day or two, things are swell. Today we go forward in our pursuit of Saddam. Is popcorn and beer good snack material for watching the hell that will break loose at 5pm pacific time? Will it start exactly at 5? Will there be an actual declaration of war? What does one wear to work in the event of war? It's all very confusing. Ack.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Nothing rhymes with ORANGE

Everytime a "Special Report" comes on the telly, my stomach flips and I get a little dizzy. This could be fun, but it's not.
Yeah.......I'd like some of that WAR with a side of Terrorism. Good Times.
Monday, March 17, 2003

Daily Updates from American Idol contestant: Kevin Sites

I feel that I have have completely reviewed every aspect of this impending war over and over again. I try to put myself in the place everyone involved and I try to come away with some sort of semblance in the matter. As long as humans inhabit the earth, the probability of war is inevitable. Shit Happens, so to speak. No God can change that, no rule, and apparently the UN has little effect on outcome of disarment . What happens in approximately 48 hours will result in the loss of many innocent lives and some not so innocent. In 48 hours, my brother, your son, his uncle and her father will combating just a slice of the 'evil axis'. Pacifists will die martyrs and conservitives will get book deals. The horrors of War begin in two day. War will is good for the ecomony, just watch. French products will be boycotted..... Omg, my haircolor??? Network correspondants become our new American Idols. In the next few days all will be different, we will be in the History books, again.

48 Starring: George W. Bush, Saddam Hussain, Colin Powell, and Introducing: The Liberal Press Special guest appearances from: Bill Clinton, Hans Blix, Joe Millionaire and assorted liberal martyrs. Soundtrack by: The Dixie Chicks. Screenplay by: Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Directed by: Kevin Smith. It's just a thought.
Saturday, March 15, 2003

So, it's not alright for self proclaimed prophets to kidnap children, good to know. I'll bare that in mind when I finally decide to type my own Manifesto, my personal dogma that will guide the world towards Cupie delivered enlightenment. I've already made note that mail bombing is sadly frowned upon when trying to get the manifesto out to the world. Also note, when abducted by wacky prophets, be sure to be photogentic and talented? I was appalled by one story that said all this attention on Elizabeth Smart was due to her wealthy family but mostly her beauty made for good press, oh the tragedy. God forbid your ugly and get abducted, your fucked. (Note to self: ugly ones lead to less exposure, must take pretty.) The world moves at the same speed day in and day out, so why does it seem to be hurling faster into an abyss of reality television and a World Beauty Pagent. Hot Or NOT.....*hork* *spew* *thwaaapft*

For the Peace Mongers. Peace Posters!
Friday, March 14, 2003

I'm quite certain I will be the last person on this planet to actually get DSL or any other faster mode of attaining internet service. My connection right now is slower then snot. I've been online for 45 painful minutes of waiting for pages to load. Serious ACK!

My mother called to let me know that her the majority of her friends that have children my age that are single too, so chins up!!! I was like, "yeah, so what's up?" I never know what will trigger the orgin of my mothers 'sermons' , not that I was ineed of a pep talk mind you. She just called to let me know that, and that if I give it up to the Lord, he will take care of me. So, give it up to the Lord? Like Magdaline did or what??? LOL. I gave at the office, outdoors, public transportation and some places to remain nameless. I give. Actually, being a woman, I'm a giver by nature, we......give. I do like the concept of receiving to. Give and reap the rewards. Sounds sublime.
Thursday, March 13, 2003

OMG, I've been trying to bring up the Blogger home page for about 20 freakin minutes.........one should never be denied spew. The server was too busy, yikes. Alrighty I'm over it. It's still a wet windy mess here at least it's reasonably warm. It took so long to get here I forgot what it was I was gonna spew about, der. Anyhoo, have a loverly day.
Wednesday, March 12, 2003

Wet I was drenched by a beautiful rain & wind storm on the way home this evening. One should never fight nature. you won't win. So here's what I suggest...........jump in the puddles, feel the rain on skin, drench yourself in one of the greatest gifts of creation. Dudes, get wet. All my power was devoted to not steppin on the earthworms that were forced upon the concrete by the pouring rains. True, true, I can drink myself into a coma, but god fucking forbid I step on an earthworm, karma dude! So at this time, I declare myself..........*wet*. Be the rain. Oh yeah, lest I forget, Elizabeth Smart was found in good health today. God is good!

Good Morning Campers!!

Last night I watched Road to Perdition, it was good, the best part of the flick would be the quote of the Paul Newman''s pyscho son, when asked why he smiles all the time he responds with..."It's all so fucking Hysterical". I would have to agree.
Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Diggin the Hype

Selling the war is hard work, talk radio is abuzz with war pro's and con's, television is loaded with debates and protests. I saw a commercial sponsored by a talk radio station, KVI (the 'right' side of scary) this commercial points out why Saddam must be relieved of power, and I admit that it makes sense...ack. The news rags have possible strategies for us to view.....maps with icons representing where our troups are stationed, but my favorite icon was of the SUPER SECRET Britsh Island where the Stealths and B-52's can fuel up or rest. Iz snot a secret no mo, Lucy.

If the war does begin, rest assured that there will be a WAR fashion show on the run ways this fall. Khaki and Camoflage thongs and day wear, fantastic. The Entertainment community will continually play the pacifist card and speak out on the evils of war. In all actuality our Entertainers need this war, it makes fodder for new scripts, fodder for the comedians, anti war rally's: Susan Sarandon flashes tits for Peace!....news @ 11......any exposure is good exposure. I'm looking forward buying Girl Scout cookies for the troops and I can't wait to see what color ribbon will be assigned to the Iraq Smack Down! Oh and I loved the slighty retarted reponse of author Tom Robbins, he likens the aggrestive American tatics to that of a pimple faced teenager wanting to open a can of whoopass on any unspecting target....it's all bout the nads baybeee.. mmmhmm....anyhoo, I am finding it quit addicting, keeping pace with the ever delayed war. Personally I believe that the delays are media ploy, guided by the current administrations need to really sell their soon to be released 'product' the Iraqi Smack Down, in hope for higher ratings. And what other coup does Dan Rather have up his sleeve???? The Anticipation is relentless.
Monday, March 10, 2003

=).

".....And in the end, the Love you make, is equal to the Love you take"-Lennon/McCartney :D

So very true........please remember your seat cushion may be used as a floatation device in the event of an emergency.
Sunday, March 09, 2003

:\

Zwan

I'm listening to the Billy Corgins new thang, "Zwan". Track One: Lyric yum, poppy goodness. Track Two: Settle Down dandy, beatlesque ending. Track Three: Declarations of Faith He declares himself here....um...standardish. Track Four: Honestly Awesome, very "Today", no offense;) Love It!. Track Five: El Sol it's mmkay. Track Six: Of a Broken Heart acoustic beginning, fucking reminds me of say a nice Zepplin ballad, tender and raw......nice. Track Six: Ride A Black Swan I think I get where he's coming from here....kinda...lil' soul searchin here. Track Seven: Heartsong, one THONK for you. Track Eight: Endless Summer.....nice intro, ok middle, "a kiss was just a kiss" mmkay. Track Ten: Baby, Let's Rock! Dedicated to all who hump and need humping. Track 11: Yeah one of my favorite words. 12: Desire the sweats of want. Track 13: Jesus NICE intro......LOL "forsaken"...follow moi......purrrrr....."follow thee'"......wonderful....."Jesus".......re
born
re
born

"God and Heaven are all my own"
Wow, amusing Who-like break :D
orgasmic.
************coming down geeeeeeeeeetar***********
nice errrrrrrr......geetar.....licks.
quiver, buzz out to acoustic......*gentle*...... quiet
ending........sweet.....Mary Star Of The Sea...............bring it on.........
may I just say this song fucking ROCKS!.....whew.
Track 14: Come With Me wow, very Mellencampish.com:|

Over all it's an 8 outta 10, very good attempt to break away from the Pumpkin's. I fucking loved the Smashing Pumpkins, they got little wierd in the end....but fuck if "Cherub Rock" don't make ya wanna shag to this day! I can't say this Disc can measure up to the genius of past Pumpkin efforts, but damn if Billy doesn't shine here. Getting back on track after the fog clears is so........fanfuckingtastic.
shine v. shone, (shn) or shined shin·ing, shines
v. intr.
To emit light.
To reflect light; glint or glisten.
To distinguish oneself in an activity or a field; excel.
To be immediately apparent: Delight shone in her eyes.

********Smiles************

good nite ;)
Saturday, March 08, 2003

Alrighty another day gone by the wayside, lost in code, lost in me mind. Code.......code......code.......*splat*.......more.......code.........help me..........

Well Hot damn Martha.............she got it!!! by God, she's got it!
does the happy dance! =)

Oh my!

Venomous Spew

Arrrrrrgh, der, splat!!! Wow, ever feel like... say.....bashing in the heads of people you don't like. I do. I'm just gonna carry around a rubber mallet and thonk on the heads of dweebs with attitude. You Dweeb **thonk**. Fun!!! Sucks to be you **THONK**. This could be a new craze as I'm sure everyone feels this way at some point in their lives.
Friday, March 07, 2003

*working it*
Book thingy
...........testing testing

Blogging, Hooters Air, and Pie

In my usual obsessive fashion, I've spent the day reading Blogging: Genius Strategies for instant Web Content there is tons of stuff I wanna do with this site and this book is quit handy. I look forward to making my own template and adding email and comments..........all sorts of self serving stuff that makes me happy.

I surfed some other blogs today as well...some amusing, some interesting.....some scary. Anyhoo, Google recently purchased Pyra Labs the makers of my beloved Blog Spot. Since I'm a Google whore this pleases me to no end. Blogging is to geeks what 'tagging' is to gangs....Territorial Pissings, rants and self promotion, love it. Up till this past year I read only my friend Pie's blog PieFilling and I've learned a lot from her just by clicking away. Once I made the decision to leave the chat rooms and rant to anyone willing to listen.......I've been cyber reborn. I learn, I click, I avoid porn and a/s/ls I love this blog shit.......

I'm concerned about this Hooters Air thing, as if the Mile High Club didn't have enough members! Meals and tittie fucks available on request.
Thursday, March 06, 2003

***Dilberted with a twist of snafu and just a touch of fubar*****

I've just spent the last two days in meetings. Can I just say........"WHY, God, WHY?????" I come away from these meetings knowing full well that the chances of me implenting any of these "new, updated, revised" strategies is unlikely. Now, it is possible I may have gleened some minute philosophy that I intend on sharing with my employee's, that is if I remember what it was I gleened. What I do know for a fact is: I have a whole new pile of "Tools" and "Suggestions" that I will file in the appropriate garbage can when I get to work on Sunday. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I do, but I think I've been in management entirely too long, I've seen the re-engineering, the down-sizing and pretty much have gotten a grasp of every management paradigm that has fallen upon my desk. I've read all the management and marketing books I could tolerate for this life time. But what stays with me most promenietly, as I rethink my management skills, is that it's wrong to sleep with your employee's. Its wrong to sleep with them because you have no idea that when your unbalanced bi-sexual Assistant Manager will tell you that she thinks she's in love with her Big OL Hippie Dyke boss. Then all hell breaks loose.....wow.....good times. Ok, so sleeping with male subordinates is wrong, and I guess that letting your angry lesbo assistant fall for you is unwise as well. All these meetings do is remind me of inability to delegate appropriate tasks to 'right' employees and reward them rightly, also they remind me that, with teamwork, duct tape not only fixes broken fixtures but it works wonders on cases of insubordination. :oP~
Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Uni forms?

I'm an admitted clothes whore. I'm sure... if I looked into it... there would be a 12 step program that I would dive into whole heartedly until I saw a snazzy blouse for a decent price and promptly buy it in every availble color for my ever growing pile of clothes on my bedroom floor. The Closet is full. There are approximately 3 sizes floating around my large walk in closet (Bedroom). The first size I wear in the Spring and Summer months, I feel thin, it's hot.....darling I look marvelous! The second size..is the what I wear most one size up, a little breathing room, covers all inappropriate rolls of Cupie and most importantly it covers the freaky oddities of celluite and the ever accomodating stretch marks. Dead Sexy!! The third size is the, omg why was I born with this hideous wretch of a body! All the clothes in this catagory draw no attention to me what so ever, all the items are shapeless and of neutral colors. All three catagories lay haphazardly on the floor the bed at present. I think I'm freaking out, LOL. At the beginning of the year....I said that 1/3 of the remaining wardrobe must be donated. In the small percentage of the Tent styles....I found two sweaters from a moment that I apparently felt like a walrus in heat, they had to go. But now I'm all torn up inside........mostly because I'm not a *Summer* size right now..der, which sadly, is the majority of the items. I'm keeping all things flattering, all things entirely too beautiful to part with. I'm keeping those size 9 jeans I wore briefly, that one day back in 89' (inspiration or torture? I'm not sure yet). Now, all the utilitarian articles, the work uniforms, are the ones I get rid of. These are the outfits I wear day in and day out. All shredded jeans and slacks go buh bye, all ratty blouses go.....bon voyage. All the shirts emblazened with the work logo are the ones I wanna trash, but alas, when one doesn't want to think about what to wear that day....the logo shirt works best, so I keep them. Ok, so now that I've gotten rid of all the daily crap, I have to shop. If's a fucking nightmare that a part of me enjoys. Help.
Monday, March 03, 2003

Blog reading can be quite addictive, all sorts of inane, informative and hilarious stuff is out there......lately I've been following Dave Barry's Blog. I've sold his books for years, I've seen that lil' sitcom that was based on his life, he's a funny fella, a little warped, slightly twisted and a rather satisfying read.
Here's a taste..........LOL!
Batteries not included

Sunday, March 02, 2003

Hot Sweaty puddle of my former reality Anxiety: A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties. Psychiatry. A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.

So, your standing there, things are a little tense, your heart starts to NASCAR on your ass....then.......tunnelvision, little clips of your visual surrounding...in your mind....getting smaller..... ya can't hear anything except the white noise of your mind, you start to sweat. Now your numb, you wanna spew forth chunks of lunch.....your eyes start darting in every direction, you can't breathe, oh the spinning S p I n N i N g, sspppppppiiiiinnnnnning, that's my favorite part. Or say......the urge to push through large crowds screaming........"For the LOVE of fuck people, personal space......arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.......snarf". The crying is always fun.......all you can see is... well......nothing but a blinding light that you know Jesus is NOT gonna come walking out of, so you hold your breath, staring at the light......you hear nothing the white noise is gone now, you hear only the thump of your rapidly beating heart.....so the tears come, but the nice part is...is that people are watching you freak out. They wanna sympathize and comfort you, this is not reccommended.....it would be like waking a sleepwalker, or say looking at Medusa, you'll regret it. Limbs could be lost.

Coming off of an anxiety attack is like the ebbing side of an orgasm, truly. Your breathing heavy, sweating, and you can't recall that something just happened...LOL......."oh, you have a name?", your released.......you are, above all things......spent. They don't last long, if your lucky, and recovery is assured. My fear is that I'll have one too many and may never leave the state of suspended self imposed agnst and turmoil............
******spinning******Vunderful******Pretty*********help********SpLaT******
Worse things could happen, I suppose.

Anyhoo, just thought I'd share!