shhhhhh, it's a secret....

As if Tony Blair didn't have enough problems, now his has to deal with this leaked secret. "Darling, you have a bit of radioactive waste in your teeth". Is nothing sacred anymore???? Mooo, gleep, glorp.

A Different Kind Of Company. A Different Kind Of Fuck.

Great web developing tools are not so hard to come by, but the Magical Slogan Maker is by far one of the best and most useful..lol. Pick a word any word and get yer slogan here.

Mtv's VMA's, ain't we got fun!

A small tear trickled down my cheek and the region near one of the lower chakra's um.....tingled as I witnessed Britney Spears dressed as bride perched top a wedding cake start singing 'Like a Virgin', um cool. I'm thinkin' "what a nice tribute to Madonna", when Christina Aguilera, dressed like a bride as well, starts singing along with Britney, they sing together and slither about the stage ala' Madge 84' and as if that wasn't the Y generations wet dream, Mtv was too kind to have Madonna herself rise from the top of the Wedding cake dressed in come-fuck-me heels and a groom type outfit to join Britney and Christina. The women sang Madonna's single Hollywood and with her best 'Madonna Practices' she liberally treats her bitches kindly with some rubbing and fleshy kisses, st-st-strike uh pose. Not that I'm a fan of Britney's or Christina's (loving "Beautiful" tho) but you add the Madonna element and gosh be damned if that doesn't stimulate the um...chakra area...um thingy...um.....yeah. The look on Justin Timberlakes face was priceless and Guy Ritchie had his proud hubby 'chubby' workin'. Bringing it back to earth and adding a butch element, was Missy Elliot doing her thang, she um....Worked It. It's all a blur after that, I think they gave out awards and I think I saw Christina giving Dave Navarro's guitar, head, I think.....um....some more awards....Metallica /end. Although, I did hurt myself when I tried to shake my ass along with Beyonce' and it's likely I might need a hip replacement, I thoroughly enjoyed the decadent soriee'.
Um....wow....

Wednesday's child is full of Woah! ;)

I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve if you haven't noticed, and nearing 40, I could give a rat's ass if you like it or not, but if you do enjoy my rants don't hesitate to make checks payable to Cupie Spew, ty. Hehe HAHA hoho....mmmkay....just kidding there...make the checks payable to a nice charitable organization in my name, ty. Hardy Har? Mmmmkay...onto the day at hand, I'm still a numb and I seek laughter and as my aging reproductive system collapses I give you the first laugh I had today! Much needed and ty Lisa xoxox

10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your coffee. <--yum :D
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband/significant other is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving? - call 1-800-"
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. SaWing! OH!! it's outta the park!! ;)
7. You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. The Bastages!
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday. It comes in chewable form now ;)

In Memory of the beautiful Monica Ortiz

I found out today that one of my employee's passed away. She had recently had her tubes tied and apparently the fucking Doctor nicked her colon and she went septic and went into cardiac arrest and died. I'm devastated at her family's loss. She was happily married w/ 5 wonderful children. Monica wanted to be a teacher and was just 4 months shy of getting her bachelors degree from the University of Washington. She loved Art and she loved her family, she set a great example for all of us and now because that fucking Catholic asslick at St. Francis who wouldn't perform the ligation she went that suck ass Valley Medical.........I'm sure the Dr. that denied her because of his pompous beliefs should be happy to hear the results. Yes, I'm angry, 5 children, one of which is only two months old, no longer have their mother. Yes I'm angry at organized religion, it kills people....it's so impressive....and all in the name of their God. Well my God is more forgiving and kind and my GOD doesn't need tithing from me to exist, he doesn't need me to slam airliners loaded with innocent souls into fucking buildings to have my love. Pro-lifers, suck my hole and don't talk to me about shit until you educate your lame ass and until SHUT YOUR FUCKING trap, organized religion...suck my fucking asshole and lick the shit....you are in NO way a representation of the love God is...Monica was only 35!!

My GOD welcomes an awesome woman, wife, friend and mother into his folds and may my God help in healing this painful loss. Monica, I will miss your laughter and your amazing capacity for love. Thank You for being part of my life, for being a great employee, and a great mother & wife. I will be there for kids and Marcello, count on that. There is a hole in my heart with the loss you, you were the greatest representation of what God really is! XOXOXOXOX

Ummmm, wow.

Fella's, when your penis starts talking, you'll probably need more then penicillin to stop the bastard, Huked on Foniks worked for moi. Not that I have a penis mind you, it's um....well...nevermind.

A day like any other

except for that it's Monday...ugh.

I am now an Amazon Associate, so while I pimp the books, movies and music that I adore, I'll get a cut. Whoopie @ the 1 millioneth of a penny I'll earn if you click on one of my book links! Ack @ redirecting all the god damn, mudder fugging links, woo. Over the next week I'll be doing just that, that is if that damn Associate page stops timing out....Mr. Bezo, please take care of this lil problem and we'll get along just fine. Don't make me buy a damn Segway and hunt ya down and give you and yer lil programmers a lesson! Well, I guess I couldn't teach ya a whole hell of a lot, but golly fix the bitch. Thanks and have a Super day.

Book Link O' dee Day: Palimpsest

heh

Why I keep a blog

There are a gazillion blogs out there and over 1/2 of them I looked at over the last week haven't been updated for months or not at all this year! I say Lame-o, but then again....do what you want. The first random blog I clicked on this morning the person owning the blog whined that no one came to her site, why update it. True.....if that's why you started the blog in the first place. For me, my blog is just an extension of my lonely-needs to be-updated web page and my mind (what's left of it)...and if you so choose to read my babble more power to you. Trust me, my traffic is low, but that doesn't faze me a bit....I just keep spewing and one day my numbers will be outta sight baybee.....or not....I just don't give a rip. I'm not looking for Fame, I'm looking to share the shit that entertains me...It's an acquired taste, but so is head cheese and some people love head cheese, I don't, but still, you get my drift??? LOL....cheese :D

Top Ten Reasons I keep a blog
1O. I learn a lot.
9. I read blogs a lot.
8. When disaster occurs...I have a community to commiserate with.
7. When I read a book, story, or see a pic that amuses me, I wanna share it.
6. I dig sharing personal snafu's with just a dash of fubar's.
5. 5 Golden RINGS.....ba da bum bum!
4. The above has nothing to do with anything, well Christmas, but um...anyways...
3. I'm an anonymous attention whore who is always right.
2. I want to run for a political office some day, not really, but wtf....
1. I want YOU, to want ME. Cheap Trick circa 1979

Now who wouldn't want to keep a blog? mmmmkay

So, I have a few issues....

LOL! mmmkay....

What fresh Hell is this?

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Gender Detector, um....okay.

I'm still a girl, good to know....mmkay. This product would be useful for um.....dating? Love Letters? Damn if I know, but It is a nice waste of 5 minutes.

Relying on the kindness of Strangers

So that's why.jpg[1]

Today sucked ass, kinda....

Overall, the tension level today at work was off the meter, friend over the edge, oy! Loss Prevention guy going through my files flirting madly, joy :D Employee leaving, tragedy, fuck higher education!.....employee having breakdown and taking it out on me and my assistant, ow.......double ow.....get over it, or not....ow.

Some days it's a fucking wonder I don't get fucking pony express kinda postal, that's when I take a fucking seabiscut and ram it in the orifices of the people irritating me, harshing my goddamned mood...Jesus...AcK!!! ommmmmmmm.....ommmmm....g'night.

Oh MY....

I swear there's a monster that lives in my ISP, I'm not hallucinating, at least not right now, I think, mmmkay.

Noble Nobel Honor??

I love the fact that book elitist asses are clenching at the mere thought of this, LOL, get over it.

Every Hero should have an Action Figure...

mmmmkay, Dewey the Action Figure....alright then ;)

Bubbo

A special thanks goes to Pie for this link, all the tension is gone and I can go to work!!! ;)
20.5 in manic mode, heh.

This just in....

President Bush decides to cut short his golf game in order to address the UN bombing in Baghdad.....uh duh.

Fish Fucker?

ROFLMAO or something like that, this dude is an ass, and I love it.

Pop Ups, The Horror

My name is Indigo Montoya you killed my computer, prepare to die. I absolutely hate Pop-Up ads!!!!! One minute your casually surfing, trying to absorb as much information as possible, links are clicked, you think your close to your 'Holy Grail' of info when bam!!!!! That link you clicked, the link you were so certain would give you your answer, when low and behold a pop-up appears (gambling), but it doesn't stop there, three more little window POP up on your browser (classmates [fuckem'], dating services [fuckem'] and golly, cheaper airfare [no money, i'm fucked]).....you can't close them fast enough....you try ctrl alt delete in a futile furry of trying to shut the mothers down, your computer freezes....did you save your work.....your cursor starts to move again (whew).....you try desperately to save your work. Tense, you think you've cleared them all when alas, one more pops up....it's a biggie and cursor ceases to move again, argh!! When the window appears....it asks if your computer is about to crash and would you like a fucking free scan....eat me, you nasty assmunch! Silence, Crash------the usual thoughts cross my mind as I reboot......"I will never patronize those bastards, NEVER" muah ha ha......I'll show em'....or not......ugh. Yeah, so I hate pop-ups and being the one of a small group of humans on the planet with dial-up or a decent fire wall, I get no sympathy....where, I ask you, is the love?

Bah, Bah....

Fair & Unbalanced Whores

Just Be

If your not quite certain of the protocols of being whatever you wanna be you might want to take a class or say pick a book. Here's some of my favorites:

How to be Popular | How to be a Villan | How to Rule The World | How to Mow the Lawn
This is just a small sample, god knows, but it's a starting point for being all you can be....have at it. ;)

Pyramid of Geeksa

So, I have this friend and this friend has a Lawyer with a girlfriend and this girlfriend runs a web portal with links to a variety of services. So far it appears harmless....but ya see, the girlfriend wants my friend to get involved in this lil game...*cough* PYRAMID..*cough*, apparently the girlfriend clears $7500 monthly, just because people click on the link.......Well the fucking link isn't found on GOOGLE!!! Hmmmm.....I can't trust an unsecured *web portal* that can't be found through Google. When My friend first told me about this she was all excited and I was all, yo, Pyramid.....she says "NO, it's a not a scheme and proceeds to draw me a diagram shaped similarly to a .......Pyramid......fascinating. The last Pyramid scheme in this area was the Ladies Dinner Club, you bring two friend get $1000.....come back next time and your two friends will have brought two friends and your income increases....the only thing was...women weren't getting their money!! Needless to say at the last Ladies Dinner Club get together was something that Hannibal Lector would have love to been at, with the Chianti in hand and reciting Shakespearean Sonnets whilst he watched the women as they tore the shit out of each other, yum. Good Times! Anyhoo, I'll dig a little more, my friend thinks she'll be set for life, methinks.....run.

And today's WTF goes to.....

Scout Walker

"Welcome to the Earth edition of the Scout Walker Kama Sutra at www.scoutwalker.com
Within the site you will find many beautiful and erotic pictures illustrating the positions and practices Scout Walkers indulge in their more private, intimate moments that generally go unconsidered by the interstella media at large. These intelligent machines share a common bond with all other known races - a passion for passion.""

....tyvm.

It's good to share personal bullshit with the masses, truly.

1. How much time do you spend online each day? Depends totally on hormone balance, need for information, how much I've drank....um..., how much time I have to waste, etc. Some days it's all day, some days I just say fuck it and read a book or chance an excursion outside.....which makes me wanna read a book and hide.

2. What is your browser homepage set to? "My MSN" somedays I want to smash the motherfucking shit out of the technicolored butterfly, but for the most part it serves it's purpose.

3. Do you use any instant messaging programs? If so, which one(s)? I have MS Messenger6 I make an appearance once daily, more if I'm up to it.......I've decided that Instant Messaging is evil, yes evil. Sometimes, I just want to check the headlines or email.....next thing you known I'm consoling, counseling, bitching, fighting, flirting, editing and various other exhausting and sometimes disgusting acts of human behavior. Needless to say I'm not on the Messenger as much anymore, too taxing on my brain. Instant Messaging is a convenience not a profession, and I'll let ya know when I wanna be seen..Me, Bitch :D

4. Where was your first web's located? Good God, I couldn't tell yah...But I've kept the same domain name for years now, and sadly that remains neglected whilst I tend to my blog fetish and web edujamkation. You might ask: What is that sadly neglected domain address? I might say cupidskat.com, or not.

5. How long have you had your current website? Coming up on a year in September.....I must celebrate with a guilt-free Kazaa Downloading session if only to piss off the RIAA, because methinks they are as ridiculous as say FOX news and um......Spike Lee, TNN Spike TV, bah. Or maybe I won't download shit! God Damnit!!! Alrighty, megone.... ;)

Going...Down Mr. Pollack?

Fair and balanced Sex in a dark elevator, purr..lol.

BookLust

The Booker Prize nominations have been announced, I've not read one of them, although, I do plan on reading Margaret Atwood's freaky lil book.

Now....bend over, this won't hurt a bit!

Honestly, I was just Googling, um....the word Erotic, and um...well, I wasn't aware, I'm speechless.*SpAnK* lol.

Fair & Balanced?

Unfair & Unbalanced, yo. *tickle*

OMG, This just in...

This just in....it wasn't a backout as previously stated, it was a BLACKOUT,...right then.

This just in.... ;)

Major backout in the NorthEast United States. More details here.

Shagrinned & Bewildered (tm)

Writer Neal Pollack has declared this Friday..(tomorrow)..as a day of protest, a massive cyber bitchslap if you will, towards FOX New's lawsuit against Al Franken for using the phrase Fair & Balanced in his new book. Apparently, FOX News feels they own this phrase, when in all actuality it's Fox News throwing a nasty little hissy fit because Al Franken pissed them off by using Fox's tag line of Fair & Balanced, which we all know that it isn't or never will be, in the title of his yet to be released book. All Fox is doing at this point is generating sales for Mr. Franken, or maybe we're just being PuNk'd who can say or for that matter who gives a flying fuck? Excellent strategy if I say so myself. 'Liberal Bashing' is all the rage in publishing right now, it's a trend that will pass or at least lay low for a chunk of time and the right will be bashed for a time....(yippee!)...but in the end what is left is what is right, right?

Great minds........

Welcome! Grab your Angel Soft (tm) heh;) sit back, relax and let Jeff Goldblum watch you poop. In the event of an emergency your seat cushion may be used as a floatation device. La La la....

BookMelt

I'm not a big fan of Vegas, I'm not big on gambling so basically it's just a sparkly city in the middle of the freakin' desert. Don't get me wrong, I have been known to dump spare change into slot machines for lack of anything stimulating to do and come away $500 up, but I was there for work. Fortunately the hotel was a nice lil' Resort Spa with 3 pools, one of which a few of us in a slightly inebriated state took a dip in our clothing or in my case my pj's, oh my!

We had some excellent authors: Terry Goodkind got all philosophical and Ayn Rand on our asses......Debbie Macomber made us laugh and choke on our lunches, but I was most impressed with Tim Sanders an inspiring Yahoo Lovecat that had us all in tears and hugging each other in the name of business, I guess Love is the Killer App!

Publishers give us tons of freebies for these conferences I think to torture us with the the thought of having to drag 100lbs worth of books through the airport, ugh. I don't keep the majority of the items, I share with the hotel staff, employees, friends and family......I don't need anymore books.....really....well maybe one more book....heh.

spew ( P ) Pronunciation Key (spy)
v. spewed, spew·ing, spews
v. tr.
To send or force out in or as if in a stream; eject forcefully or in large amounts: a volcano that spewed molten lava; spewed invective at his opponent.
To vomit or otherwise cast out through the mouth.

What Happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

I'm off to Vegas this morning, I hear that it's sweltering down there...ugh. If I were going for fun I might be able to tolerate the evil desert, but alas tis work...again...ugh. I guess that I'm mostly looking forward to being poked and prodded at the airport....woooohoooooo! Um.....(in her best Awnold) "I'll be back" < wipes spit off chin > < waves >

C'mon get HaPpY!

Well gosh darn it's good to be gay right now...
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy makes me wanna pretend to be having brunch when all I'm really doing is swilling down Bloody Mary's with all five of these men, lol. Woohooo!

Reality?
Get yer chaps on and dance baybeeeee, Boy Meets Boy;)
Wouldn't it be cool if there was a reality based show in which 5 fabulous woman compete for one rich man????....well.....how bout if the man was gay? Heh.....that would fuck them up...lol.

Holy Flamin' Bishop Batman!

One can never have enough gaiety in one's life, methinks....LOL....snarf :P~

And what of the passe' Lesbian Chic movement? Where be the bitches?


*yawn*........nevermind. LOL

The day his ass went psycho

Here's hoping this ass will rest in pieces...ummmm...

MMmmmmkay.....better.

Alrighty......retweakin, got the roll back.......ack.....thwwaphft. :P

Freakin Norwegian Wood......damn it all to hell!!!

I guess I should go to work, hmmmm..........cya! Heeheeeeee, haha.....what?

Shit, I've lost me fookin blogroll LOL!

ARRRRRRgH......tweak n' tweak....LOL.

John Stewart.....

....my 11pm reality check, meow;)

Weekend Residue Report

After a great weekend of family and friends I am spent...ow. Friday, the 21st birthday celebration of my friend Angel, it was a small gathering of a few friends willing to trash the young and innocent, good times! Actually, I did have a blast and the food at Denny's was, as expected, a pleasurable night cap that I'm still digesting. Aside from the drunken 20 something with the wet ass in the women's loo thinking I was Pie's mother (maybe in her world it's acceptable for women to spawn earthlings @ age nine, oy) and the middle aged bald man wanting to dance shortly after the 'mother' incident, I had a great time!

My niece Hanna had her 7th birthday party on Sunday. She is an amazing artistic talent and a lot of her presents were aimed at her talents, I of course gave her books and a Harry Potter Doll. I know that the Doll will greatly enjoy bathing with the likes of Barbie and the Little Mermaid and I hope Hanna will enjoy the books. My brother Matt's bday is today.....I gave him a hug, LOL, I'm broke till Thursday....so a hug will have to do until I return from Vegas with my large earnings.......rigggggghhht. Actually Vegas is not for fun it's all about the gathering of the Book Geeks for my company. I shall remain locked up in a business hotel with air conditioning for two days...touch my power point, zoinks.

Oh Neil your so fine, your so fine you blow my......*Poof*!

Nice profile on Neil Gaiman. So far I've enjoyed American Gods and Coraline, Startdust is next on the Gaiman agenda, though I must admit The Sandman graphic novels look intriguing, oh and Good Omens written with Terry Prachett....or....or.......*bRaIn~SnAp*! mmmkay.....

Summer Lovin'

When David was done slaying the giant Goliath he found a fashion forward way to utilize his sling, kudos....*ock* LOL!