It's Here, It's Queer

It's the ongoing Chick Lit shiznitz, just in case you weren't sure if it was a bra burning thing or an expansion of the Romance genre, yanno. Be that as is it may, it's stickin' around until the last woman in "Romance Denial" concedes. Aye, sweet capitalism.

Tickle me Elmo, please.

There's a kind of Hush.....all over the world.........

Good News: I received my complimentary Blogger Sweatshirt today, I'm like Biz Stone's and Evan McGoogleHead's bitch now, I can now sit at the "cool kidz" table in the blog realm, it's like I won the freaking "I read Big Pink Cookie Award". You can't access my archives, but bitches I will blog you upside down and middlin to fair, on a good day! I'm the fuckin' shiznitzle with a side of lowfat homogenized curd to go, yo. This bloggin business is fun.

Blogging: Show The Pain, Educate the masses, Track hormonal balance and Moon phases by the Blog, and in the name of God, link the bitch with cyber linkage. Don't you wish you had an over-sized sweatshirt with a big ass logo? I can wear this with my size 2 Tommy's, yo.....(Crack Dreams & retail escapisms). Atkin's, take me away.........

This post was brought to you by pain and exhaustion with an insatiable desire to share all that is sacred (within my particular pyschosis and/or neurosis) with the masses, that being the Blogger Sweatshirt, I'm too sexy for my Blog, so sexy......"Well, the book is blue, I saw it at the airport......" Note to Google/Blogger: Hire me, for what I don't know, but I will guarantee that I'm invaluable, bitchy but an asset. Thanks and Have a Super Fantastic Day.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW

Dear God,
I will never doubt anyone's pain again........omfg. I'll be back when I can sit for more then two minutes at a time or when I get some meds and don't care if I'm sitting on my freakin' head.....*&*$#@#$! Thanks and have a super fucking day.

Girls, Get Your Man!!!

Exotic, intriguing, mysterious– no man will be able to resist your charms . Why rely on looks, brains or morals, when all you really need is too stink like fcuk (complete w/cheesy technoporn musak) and activate your Mancatcher Vodoo Kit. Um, I've been doing it wrong all this time, fascinating.

Weebles Wobble, but they don't fall down....

I'm still in pain, owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I can't sit for any good length of time, entirely too painful. Methinks that God was sick of seeing my fat ass doing what it does best, nothing. I've been up, up, up....and it's exhausting......(stands, brb)...alrighty, pain sucks.

Correction

Please note that on the Friday Five post I misread ''in'' your refrigerator with what's "on" your refrigerator. Knowing this, I've determined that what is actually in my refrigerator has the same nutritional value of the stuff "on" my refrigerator. mmmkay.

Hip to be....ow

I'm exhausted, in pain....severe pain, my hip goes out sometimes and golly if it didn't go out a couple of weeks ago and it's getting worse daily. The pain is a nice searing burn in my right hip, which makes me hobble and wince as I walk, so sexy. As a child we used to tease my mother who has the same hip problems, her hobble resembled Fred Sanford's (Sanford & Son), walk, a kind of side to side wobble. Well thanks to karma I'm all, Elizabeth (clutching hip, not heart) you don't know me but I'm coming to see ya.......sweet jesus. :S

I've been Uber busy, brain has melted

Ow.........so before I leave for work today to put in another 10 painfilled hours I give you the Five ala' Friday.

1. Name five things in your refrigerator. Refridgerator Magnets stating: Compulsive, Manic, Borderline :D just a little self reminder. Also, I have a picture of my beautiful nieces Sara, Hanna, Aimee and my braniac nephew Sean, a cheshire cat magnet (wacky), a Kewpie Cupid magnet, a scrabble piece with the letter Z 10 pts, yippee, and some chic lil Zen Magnets.....um.....very peaceful when placed in the proper position......um......ok.

2. Name five things in your freezer.Ice, ice, ice, two Smart Choice meals, some meat from years gone by and um......my credit cards. :D

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink. The Garbage can, empty bags, assorted cleaners, vacuum bags and the garbage disposal.

4. Name five things around your computer. CD's galore, the new Dave Matthews unopened bought last week, leisure time---must have some leisure time--stacks of books, canned air, my stereo, digital camera and assorted pieces to computer none of which will ever make it back into it's original place in either computer. :D

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet. Oh my, girl gear (tampons, pads and midol) Perfume, Advil, razors with aloe strips.....snarf.....um.....Vitamins galore.....and sinus medications of varying kinds, sniff.

And there ya have it, yet another unfullfilling romp into the Cupie Abyss, Thanks and have a Super Dandy Day!

You can feel the love, kinda

Why I Fucking hate Weblogs

Book Link Of The Day

I got this link *Ulysses Project* from Book Slut, I've personally not read Ulysses though it's been on my "to read list" for ages, the art work is amazing and inspires me to renegociate what to read next. ;)

Celtic meanderings

I went to a Celtic concert at the Washington Center for the Arts in Olympia on Saturday. It was a loverly event, beautiful music and I didn't see hardly any of the Trench Coat crowd (D&D cloak wearing anomalies) that I was expecting. The audience was comprised mostly of scholarly folk who missed out on the "The Lord of Dance" or they haven't seen 54th rerun of Riverdance on their local PBS station. By the end of the evening I wanted a kilt and a bagpipe, I wanted argyle socks and I wanted Mel Gibson to comeout in his Braveheart outfit and lift his kilt :D Ah, the simple things.

Friday Five because I care

1. Do you watch sports? If so, which ones?Baseball, Baseball, and Baseball, goooooooooo Redsocks, goooooooooooooo Cubbies........woohooo! I watch Tennis as well, it's like Pong for the outdoors w/ stylish sportwear. And last but not least I'm looking forward to Basketball this year, well mostly I'm looking forward to the UBER Lakers, Phil Jackson is making it entirely impossible for other teams to win this year, should be amusing.

2. What/who are your favorite sports teams and/or favorite athletes?The Mariners, no, we don't have the curse of the Bambino, but we built the Kingdome and Safeco Feild on scared Indian burial grounds, I think.

3. Are there any sports you hate?Sumo Wrestling, fat people in diapers wrestling, please god no more!

4. Have you ever been to a sports event?I've been to a gazillion Mariner games, a few Seahawk games, and um.....I date on occassion.

5. Do/did you play any sports (in school or other)? How long did you play?I was on the track team strictly for weight loss purposes, I ran the 50 meter, very fast.......they put a ding dong (yum) at the end of the track. I quit the track team the day of the first meet......um.....the uniform was unflattering and I really just wanted to lose a few pounds, which I did and I humbly went back to my art department.

Well, there ya have it. I'm like Sporty Spice all the way........LMFAO.......somebody give a Cupie a Suzy Q or two, yum.

Hippo Birdy Two Ewe

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you to the Moon, and back. xoxox

Be a martyr or just look like one.........

Courtney Love has a new CD coming out this January. Courtney likes to celebrate her successes with self destruction and mayhem. Ms. Love embodies the true hedonistic elements of Rock n' Roll, and if she can take more than a 3 week celebrity rehab to realize she is worthy of admiration, she's worthy of love, she's a mother, a rocker, an actress, she has a new record deal with the balloon bitch, she's smart, though some say she's a khunt, she's genius and if she would only acknowledge that she's that she's cool and sitting at the cool kid's table, she wouldn't have to keep tormenting her freakin' soul.

I don't know Courtney personally, but she hiked a Newsweek from my store at the Columbia Tower the day after Kurt's body was found (her lawyer resided in the bldg). My employee's asked what should they do, I said let the bitch steal it, her fucking icon husband just shot his fucking brains out, let her have the fucking magazine and back to work we went. Paving our path's is hard work and only we are accountable for choices made, accountable for our actions. Courtney is smarter than she acts, she just hate's herself, sometimes she feels so god damned unworthy of what life has given her, even though she wanted it all, she did, but um yeah, maybe she wouldn't have had it gone to the far left of Rock n' Roll, but what is created from pain can be made in joy as well and, she just gets off on all of it, and someday that will kill her, until then, it's business as usual. Rock n' Roll Heaven can wait, get your ass to work bitch and stop worrying, I'll do that for you, I have some freetime in my 32nd life I can reserve to help you. Fuckin' eh, woman! If it's all too much for you, don't hesitate to find release in my history section. Thanks and have a Super day!

Oh yeah, the ELECTION......

I watched The Daily Show's special re-election coverage tonight, it was amusing, uninformative and I wanted to lick John Stewarts gorgeous face. I mean lets face it, the Terminator dude has 32% of the vote, at this moment, well, a half hour ago, um........wait, it doesn't matter......da Termanateher wins it. Um, duh? Snarf < eyeroll >.

California Erection 2003

Some days are more strange then others, but today was very surreal. Today was my Monday, except that it's a Tuesday and in all actuality my Monday is actually Sunday, so I thought it was Tuesday, but it was Sunday, well, mondaa......um.......It's Tuesday which is my Monday, I'll stop there as I could possibly go on for hours, I'm freaky like that.....um.....alrighty! Oh yes, the day was surreal, I'm at the multi-unit management part of the year at work and my mind was all over the place touching base on all the things I had to take care of. Things have been strained and worrisome as my assistant has been diagnosed with breast cancer, so she's going off this week to get better, she'll be back as soon as she can but she'll be taking things slow due to radiation treatments, ugh. My thoughts and prayers are we here now and for the duration. We'll adjust until she's well again, hell, she doesn't even feel sick, again I say ugh. LOL. oy.

On a lighter note, while in my frienzied state I was trying desparately to match the proper deposit slips with it's corresponding paperwork, when I notice a young man of twelve or thirteen, in the history section. The veiw of the history section is in the direct line of sight from my desk which is an elevated platform above the cash wrap area (it's good to be Queen, sigh....) anyhoo, this young man has a calendar in his hand, he yanks out his lil pubescent pecker, spanks it about 3 times, right the fuck in front of me, I'm like whoa.....um.....wtf? Um.......dude? The little shit looks over at me stares at me and put's his wanker back in his pants and zips up, picks up the calendar places back in the calendar rack and leave's with his fucking lil' prepubescent assfuck friends, who just happen to be laughing their mother fucking asses off. I watch them leave, speechless, I walk down to the sales floor, I look around to see if anyone else had just seen the 'show'. I look at the calendar he put away in the wrong fucking spot and it was Playboy's lingre 2004, mmkay......then I walk over to the history section and um......make sure it's tidy, then I walk back to my desk, sit down, and stare at the history section, I stand up, I sit, I look at the calendar rack and then I start to work on the deposits again.......LMFAO, I have 5 brothers, I've dated the better part of Seattle, and curiously I am oddly unfazed by the events of the afternoon. It's like.....yeah, yeah some kid jacked off in front of me at work today, then I went to the bank, delegated, long day........I fucking LOVE that mall, sick ass shit, oy. Strange daze, errrrr, days indeed.

Due to crappy broken computer

I'm still Dial Up Bitch and will remain Dial Up Bitch until I Frankenstien my own machine. I've certainly had enough of the Compaq or for that matter any prepackaged, proprietary lump of shit machine. I've done all I can, and have had my brother, two comcast tech's, a majority of HP tech's and myself working on this and it's over....done.......my machine has no desire for speed. *kicks cute little tower*. Argh!

Penny Zen?

One particularly beautiful morning I was out and about running errands, walking through Anyparking lot, USA, I spotted a shiny penny on the ground awaiting the ritual rhyme of "find a penny, pick it up, then all day you'll have good luck!! It was so beautiful outside and my hormones have been on an even keel lately, so, I thought to myself, "wtf, let somebody else have the good luck today!". And then I thought about how selfless it was of me to want someone else to have the luck and immediately fantasize about the potential Karmic retribution I would receive for such a deed. I walked on through the rest of the parking lot and spotted another penny, what great fortune!!! But, as I passed the penny it occurred to me that I could make this a money making scenario, if I passed up on a 100 pennies would I see a dollar next time? And really, what if could use those pennies prior to making that karma dollar? Would I feel selfish about picking up someone else's good fortune?.....Ow.

Stinky Fcuks

Why even bother finding the perfect fragrance, one that compliments your own body's chemistry, one that may attract a special someone. I just don't see why I need bother sniffing all the pretty scents and sniffer refreshing coffee beans, when all I really need is a stinky Fcuk scent, it certainly cut's through all the bullshit, eh?

William Steig author of

Shrek and cartoonist for the New Yorker passed away on Saturday, RIP sir and ty.

"You can buy the color, but you can’t buy the attitude!"

After a girl breaks up with a dude she experiences a metamorphosis, she's stronger, better, she hates her hair, she hates the man who dumped her and must destroy it, her hair, so she bleaches her hair blonde and waits for the new 'her' to represent. It is my experience that Blondes do NOT have more fun. I was blonde for a year and finally gave it up today. I'm red again, I was redhead like during the blonde faze but it didn't have the same acidic values that a dyedtrue redhead has. I'm me again and I LOVE it. Dark CherryRed.....Me, Happy, yo.

God or whomever it concerns did not want me to be Blonde, yeah, I tried, but it's so not me. I'm an apathetic overachiever with a healthy 'bad' aim thing going on of massive proportion.

While on the main road to the Gorge in George last weekend, my sister tired of my passenger seat ranting, as she was putting on her tennies, stared at the neverending line in front of her Suburban, and she says to me "Somewhere up there is a neurotic woman screaming at the cars in front of her" LOL, she gets me, and I adore that. I'm bitchy, pissy, and I've got things to say, that matter, really.....mmmkay. I'm a redhead, I'm a toxic neurotic and if your lucky I'll smell your finger, or not.

‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›

If you build it they will come.

And then they Nickel and Dime your ass until your black and blue. I've overworked myself this week, I'm experiencing my monthly or weekly or whenever the fuck it wants to appear bloodletting, which makes me everso charming and cuddly (deal with it) and that bitch that runs the ZonkBoard is a prick. Yippeee.........hrrmmm...um......SPLAT. The ZonkBoard is just a waste of space really, kinda like the sideblog that Biz Stone and others have tried to implement, webpages and blogs around the world are starting to look like fricken CNN.....How much information do we really need? And now my fucking spellcheck doesn't work........I'm not feeling the love from the internet today and I'm still dial up for lack of time to fix whatever fucking problem there is. ARRRRRGHHHH! Remember Sam Kinison? Well I do and right now, I feel like screaming the way he did.....OH, oh OHhhhhhhhh! Alrighty, I'm over it. I'm late for work.....I'm late.....I'm the fucking White Rabbit......LOL.

No, Really, DO NOT call.

Dear Judicial Dudes,

When 50 million phones have been registered @ the DO NOT Call Registery, I'm thinking that they don't want the unwanted phone solicitations. You Judge types say it is against the solicitors right of Free Speech, bullshit. I don't want what they've got to sell, I'll let them know if I want their product, I'll let them know if they have the right to call me in my home and mispronounce my last or say ask for Mr. Zincuhwitz, cause those fucking morons ain't gonna find a Mr. here, as a matter of fact all they are gonna find on the receiving end of the phone is a *click* and dead air. Hell, I felt bad for the solicitor, who thanked me profusely for saying yes to cable for my computer as I was her only 'yes' for the day and of course I'm still Dial Up Bitch, oy.

NO means no and they do not have a right to come into my home and attempt to sell me shit I don't need, no one needs.

In closing dear 'voted' in Judicial AssChimps, we don't want them and that is our right, protect it or will see who just who bought your fucking robe, stylish as it is.

Thanks and Have a Super day! :D