When Jupiter Meets Uranus

The nurse was kind enough to show us a little plastic chart with circles that represented the varying size of the cervix during labor, 2 cm, 3 cm, 4, 5 cm, progressively up to 10 cm the exact size the cervix needs to be dilated to deliver a baby. Wayne, the expectant father, joked that it was a planetary map, 1 cm would be Pluto, 5 cm Meurcury, 7 cm Saturn. Mother Nature or the nurse with the big breasts, we'll just refer to her as the "Nurse", pointed out the largest circle measuring 10 cm was Jupiter and laughter filled the room. I left the delivery room briefly to get some film and nicotine replacement, I was only gone 10 minutes max and when I returned who would have thought that in the few minutes I was gone that planets would realign on my sisters body, she was dialated to 10 cm, "Houston, we can clearly see Jupiter and its nearing Uranus", the pushing had begun.

The pushing episode lasted an hour until the baby wouldn't budge anymore, the Doctor was finally brought in to take care business or rather convince the baby to let go of the pubic bone he was holding onto for dear life and deal with his impending life on our planet. I prompted the video camera and I'm glad I did, because all it took from the Doctor was an insertion of his hand, some fluid, forceps and wa-la baby crown. Another petite nurse had entered the room and was busying herself, while the big breasted nurse worked with the Doctor my thoughts wandered I feared that upon baby Ethan's arrival he would latch on immediately to the nurses huge breast, by the time I snapped out of the wet-nurse daydream my sister gave a quick little push and the baby came out. He was perfect, beautiful and attacked no ones breast that I can remember. The smaller of the two nurses took the video camera from me to finish filming as the Doctor had obstructed my view all that was left to film was the cord cutting and handing over the baby to the exhausted and blissed out mother.

Ethan Mathias Maxwell was born around 2:15 in the afternoon, August 27th, he weighed 7lbs, 4oz and is absolutely beautiful, his sisters adore him, his father has his son, his mother grew a penis in her belly for nine months and will never be the same.

This is the second birth I've witnessed, the first being my niece Aimee's. It's an awesome experience that I'm glad to have been blessed to experience in my lifetime. Neither of the births switched on my maternal clock, I'm thinking that I have a defective one and the recall is coming any day now, still, I don't think I'd turn my defective maternal clock in and I'm certain that I've misplaced the warranty certificate.

It has been said that 'we are stardust', I'm good with the whole celestial aspect of our being and after experiencing the miracle of child birth again I know this, that lo' those many years ago when the shepards thought they were following a great northern star to find their king, that it was actually a rare celestial anomoly in which, for a brief moment in time, Jupiter orbits Uranus and a child is born. Welcome to the World little man. xoxo

So much for sleeping in on the day off!!!

Yeah, so I was greatly looking forward to sleeping in today, its been a physically hard week at work, but my sister is having a foreign object (read, baby) removed from her body this morning. His name is Ethan and it was kind of him to wait for my day off as his put his mother through soft labor for the past two weeks......oy. Update later!!

Swift Swimmer Swamped

Saw it in Newsweek and thought I'd share, because I'm generous like that. ;)

Nevermind The Pollacks Optioned

Neal Pollack's Nevermind The Pollacks has been optioned to become a movie, I'm far to cheap to subscribe to Variety, the news alone will have to suffice for moi.

In other Neal Pollack news, he will be attending Seattle's Art's and Music Festival Bumbershoot! I will be at Bumbershoot that very day and I will be stalking watching Mr. Pollack's lecture, good times!

Seven Deadly Sins (Gwenyth keeps her head this go round)

Harvey Comics and the Seven bad ones, are there good ones? hmmmm... [Via: Boing Boing]

Cupie In The City: A Hardball Interview with Chris Matthews

MATTHEWS: So tell us about the events we'll be talking about tonight.

Cupie: Oh, I went into Seattle with my friend Laura, she invited me to the pre-season Seahawks vs. The Broncos on Saturday, gosh we had a blast! This is wierd, I never thought I'd be talkin' to the mainstream media about it.

MATTHEWS: Nobody has ever called me mainstream before but thank your for the (UNINTELLIGIBLE). I guess I'm big time now.

Cupie: Whatever dude, um...anyhoo, copious amounts of beer were consumed throughout the game....

MATTHEWS: I think the president, if he wanted this to stop would make one phone call. Karl Rove, would make one phone call and that would be the end of the ads. That's what think, and you know that's true, right?

Cupie: Yeah, I'm with ya there, so um...the Hawks played for shit, so we had another beer, there were so many hot guys around us....I was all *droolin'*....

MATTHEWS: Is that true? If he wanted to stop them, he could stop them.

Cupie: I'm thinking he only has the ability to 'start' things, unlike the Seahawks...they keep fucking up, jesus.

MATTHEWS: What do you mean by self-inflicted? Are you saying he shot himself on purpose? Is that what you're saying?

Cupie: What? Mmmmkay, after a few beers and many trips to the bathroom, I left the bathroom with the seatcover stickin' outta my pants, that was funny.

MATTHEWS: I'm asking a simple question. Are you saying that he shot himself on purpose.

Cupie: I'm sayin' I had the toilet paper seat cover sticking out of the back of pants...lol.

MATTHEWS: And I'm asking question.

Cupie: Laura wouldn't pull it out for me :( so I had this paper dangling from the back of my pants and....

MATTHEWS: Did he shoot himself on purpose.

Cupie: I pulled it out myself and LOL....

MATTHEWS: No one has ever accused him of shooting himself on purpose.

Cupie: Well sure, but I didn't plan to leave the paper in my ass crack, I was just having a good time...pee'd...stood up...ass crack coveted seat cover kinda situation....

MATTHEWS: Your saying there are—he shot himself on purpose, that's a criminal act?

Cupie: Okay, maybe I had one too many beers, its not like I kept the seat cover as a souvenier, I mean, the Seahawks lost why would I need something to remind me of that....shit....I'm outta here dude.

MATTHEWS: That's cast a lot of doubt. That‘s complete nonsense.

Cupie: Yeah, well you don't have a paper cut on your bum, now do ya?

:)

The Day The Geek Built

Paul Allen built the Experience Music Project, I finally went to it on Saturday and lordy, it rocked. I also went to the Seahawk game at Qwest Feild, Paul built that too and golly gee, it was more fun than I could ever imagine. Whooopie.

Jaws In 30 Seconds

Click To View...dun dunt....

OPtickle Illusion

Click for a tweaky good time.

[via=VBB]

TGIF

Play!

Kurt Vonnegut Salutes Librarian's & Loathes The Human Race...(same shit,different day).

The hero of Bradbury's novel is a municipal worker whose job is burning books.

And on the subject of burning books: I want to congratulate librarians, not famous for their physical strength or their powerful political connections or their great wealth, who, all over this country, have staunchly resisted anti-democratic bullies who have tried to remove certain books from their shelves, and have refused to reveal to thought police the names of persons who have checked out those titles.

So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.

Mr. Vonnegut goes off in extreme directions in this essay, he's tired of the hate and bullshit this year has brought us. He has been driven to the point of comparing American's to Nazi's and reminds us that Hitler was a Christian too. These are the words of a man who's close to broken. Sometimes, all the hate and slanderous bullshit makes me feel that way as well, I want to hide from the hateful self-serving human race.

In the bookselling environment, I have the pleasure of hearing all the hateful, bitter shit people spew when I tell them I don't have that ridiculous book Unfit For Command. They say we're censoring the book, or we're hiding it or they won't be able to get it until after the election. Not exactly, the fact is the first printing was rather small and the bookstores and Amazon have the book on backorder, why do you think we'd censor it when we want so badly to have your money? People who want this book already know who their voting for in November, so basically they want it to justify why they hate Kerry.

When Clinton's book was released I heard nothing but bitter shit about him, that made me make my displays bigger and add Hillary's book as well. When one old man called her a Jezebel, I asked him how he knew that for a fact? Unless he stuck his wrinkly and withered winky in her, how could he possibly know that?

I take it all with a grain of salt now and unlike Mr. Vonnegut I don't want to hide from the human race, except for that 'special' time of the month and trust me, you don't want to be around me then, bloodletting isn't easy yanno, God is a cruel bitch....where was I? Oh yeah, I've decided I'm going to educate myself on every fact I spew about. I want the facts 'mam and I'm not going away anytime soon, and I would expect that if you choose to spew as well, that you know what the fuck your talking and back your words and statements with facts, not ignorance, solely because you belong to one party or another.

I disagree with Mr. Vonnegut on one major point in his article, "we are now almost as feared and hated all over the world as the Nazis were. " We as a country aren't feared as much as we are envied, because we do have the right to read what we want, say what we want, pray to who we want, all without the fear of being executed and or imprisoned. And because of those very facts, I have faith that one day our human race will be less persecuting and more unified (except, for the Gaza strip, for all the 'God' that is there, it sure looks like Hell on Earth to me). Until then, know absolutely what you believe in and educate yourself. I've no problem selling you the books you need to achieve your knowledge or I might suggest that you go to the damn Library for fuck sake, but for the love of God, know why you say, what you say.
[Via: Bookslut]

Grande, Decaf, Non-fat, No Whip, Iced Mocha, please.

For those of you who don't like to deal in raw numbers, at 5.877 inches, the average penis is about the size of a Nestle Butterfinger candy bar (unwrapped) or a grande (medium) cup of coffee at Starbucks (with the sip lid). Most men vary in size between a Twix bar and a Peter Paul Mounds (with the wrapper extended).

Finally, a means of measurement I can relate to. But what if I like to dip my Butterfinger in my Mocha? Is that wrong? It is this question and countless others that keep me medicated.

Bear Drinks Beer

Bear has hangover. *Hiccup*

My Boyfriends Back and He's Married To Another

Hey now, Hey now...
my boyfriends back....and this is a picture of his front...and this is him sideways....and this is him running for President of the United States of America.....and this is his...um...wife. As you can see, my ex-boyfriend opted for a more ethnic, a more filthy rich woman, but hey, I've still got the mammories, come check them out. Oops, I typed mammories when I really meant memories. John would have thought that was silly of me..*giggle*...*sigh*
Whatever.

John Kerry Sucks Less

That's not to say Mr. Kerry is having difficulties with a straw, it just means that career politicians are slick fuckers that enjoy being dissected by their public when golf isn't enough anymore.

Out of the Top 10 Reasons Kerry Sucks Less, I'd have to go with number 5:

5.) His Vice President is not the evil puppeteer- Uncle Dick “ fuck-you” Cheny.

I think that's reason enough.

Note: This site should not be confused with Johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyways. Have a Super Day!

PJ O' Rourke Interviews Colin Powell, Rock On!

P. J. O'ROURKE: Ok, well, this is the key one. Which is your favorite Beatle? I actually asked Bill Clinton that. When he was running for President, I interviewed him and I said, "Which one's your favorite Beatle?" And he looked quite surprised because he thought only policy questions would be asked. And it was Paul, wouldn't you know?

SECRETARY POWELL: That's what I would say. Because I know Paul. Paul's a bud of mine.

P. J. O'ROURKE: I'm sure he's a great guy and all, but I would have thought anybody in their right mind would pick Ringo. He wanted the act to last just long enough so he would have enough money to open a chain of hairdressing shops. And, by God, he did.

SECRETARY POWELL: And Paul ended up with the most money.

P. J. O'ROURKE: He did. And he is alive.

SECRETARY POWELL: You know what I like about him, he is so normal.

P. J. O'ROURKE: Yes, so I understand.

Clinton also liked the skinny Elvis stamp, which I thought showed a lack of self-confidence.

SECRETARY POWELL: I knew Elvis.

P. J. O'ROURKE: Really?

SECRETARY POWELL: I met him when he was in the Army. I was a lieutenant; he was a sergeant. He was in the neighboring regiment—or combat command, as we called it—in the Third Armored Division in Germany.

We were in the training area one day and I was driving my jeep around and suddenly came upon this unit from the other outfit and there he was. And so I went over and shook hands.

He was a good soldier. You never would have thought he was anything but a soldier. He had a pimple on his face and everything else. He was not a big star. He was just another soldier.

And I'm just another blogger who thinks John Lennon was the best thing about the Beatles and I'll admit, lack of self-confidence aside, that the skinny Elvis in skin tight black leather takes me to my happy place......ahhhh.

Eats, Blogs & Leaves

'Capitalization and punctuation are the easiest ways to indicate exactly what you're trying to say. It's time for a little tough love, people: Anyone who types in all lowercase needs to be taken out back and beaten. You are not e.e. cummings; you are not being "artistic." You're just too lazy to hit the shift key."

Jennifer Garrett Puncutates, Edits & Leaves and if your not careful she'll smack your colons around and take that hanging participle and wrap it around your neck until you can no longer punctuate. You have been warned. *sheepishly waves to Jen* ;)

Cliff Notes: The Cat In The Hat

"IN 1957 A BOOK containing only 220 words and some zany illustrations was published in America. Three years later The Cat in the Hat had sold one million copies, helping Dr Seuss become one of the most successful children’s authors of all time. But, as we celebrate Theodore Seuss Geisel’s 100th birthday, one question surrounding his work remains unanswered: ‘What on earth is the story all about?’

The story is about a walking on hind legs, hat wearing cat that entertains children on rainy days. What's to think about?

Barbie For President

Say it ain't so! It is so very, so! Ms. Thang herself has tossed in her hat disguised as a brassiere and wants Ralph Nader's 1% of the vote.

Marie C. Wilson, president and founder of the national, nonpartisan The White House Project, said Barbie's campaign shows girls that they can aspire to the highest levels of leadership, including the presidency.

"It allows girls to think about turning Barbie's dream house into the White House," Wilson said in a statement. "Since Barbie is such a large part of girls' lives, we believe it's important to encourage them to become tomorrow's leaders, and Barbie for President sends that message."

But what of the rumored 'going on's' in that Dream House? Rumor has it the reason she dumped Ken, aside from the lack of a penis, is that while traveling abroad, Barbie met a young, albeit plastic, book cover model while in France on business and upon her return to the states got this model a job working for Mattel. And whatever will happen when Barbie and her Girl Friday's pictures surface? Barbie, your past has been mercilessly at the hands of twisted children and tweaked out adults for years and remember that whole "Math is hard" episode? I'd think twice about running for president at this time, maybe in another 50 yrs society will be more accepting of your exploits, your relationships with half a million G.I. Joe's, Midge & P.J. and the whole tippy-toed stature thingy is a little freaky, the future is yours, but the climate is far to conservative at this time for this campaign to take hold.

Harry Potter Was A Bear, Harry Potter Had No Hair, So Harry Potter Wasn't Hairy Was He? Or Was He? Hmmm

JK Rowlings is halfway through #6 Harry Potter and the Halfblood Prince and taunts us with a few facts and things to think and over-speculate about:

Aberforth Dumbledore is the barman in the Hog's Head
Dumbledore's patronus is a phoenix
Grawp will be more controllable in the sixth book
We will see a bit more of Rita Skeeter
There will be a new character called McLagan
Harry does NOT have a godmother

[via: Dizzy Girl]

With that to think on now take some time to enjoy the musical sensation that is Harry & The Potters two guys with keyboards and entirely to much HP knowledge streaming through their brains. My favorite song "Stick It To Delores" a sampling of lyric:

We don't care for your

Defense against the Darkarts Class
you undermine our intelligence
we won't take any more of this

Oh MY GOD, you look like a frog,
Oh MY GOD, you look like a frog,
Oh MY GOD, you look like a frog,
Umbridge your going down
Umbridge your going down
Umbridge your going down

Rock On! ;) [via: Biz]

Rugby Vets Speak Out against Bush

Is this man fit to be President? Apparently so. (Cheney, I'd watch my back if I were you) "Grasping an opponent by the back of the head and punching him in the face is beyond the pale -- I've watched rugby avidly for years, and I've never seen it during an open-field tackle like this, honest -- and will typically result in a player being immediately sent off.

I'm sure by next week Karl Rove will have a collection of rugby players claiming that John Kerry was even worse..."

And when that book comes out, I'll sell the 1/2" hardcover to you all for $27.95 as well, its not about politics, its about commerce. Cha-Ching!

Is Michael Moore An Asshole?

A lot can be said about Mr. Moore and then sometimes he leaves people speechless. He is definitely an antagonist and it has been said when he lifts his belly, you'll find fellow antagonist Ann Coulter, it may have been me who said that, whatever, I still like the asshole. That being said, I give you National Lampoon's MoveOnPlease.org's , I Am Not An Asshole by Mr. Moore himself. If you like what you see at MoveOnPlease.org donate here.

Moi loveth mu meson!

I found these guys under a Britney Spears post on the Best Week Ever Blog. I'm loving on the Long Time Stalker cut, give it a listen, its like Pavement & The Pixies up in your face, good old fashioned geek rock and their from Washington! We may be damp up here, but damn if we don't rock. As far as Britney listening to you guys, she's busy living in her own fucking mess and gosh her taste in clothing sucks so I'd assume her music taste does as well. Your guerilla marketing tactics worked this time, if I hadn't enjoyed the animation I wouldn't have clicked, how I do hate self promotion, heh. ;)

Spinsanity, Whirlygig, Shish Boom Bah!

Spinsanity.com, spinning at respectable speeds will tone one's ass, define the shape of one's legs and help people wade through the bullshit that we here in America, like to call the "Election". I purchased the book All The President's Spin, I haven't even begun to read it and I'm already dizzy.

Couch Potato Subcumbs

STUART, Fla. -- A 480-pound Martin County woman has died after emergency workers tried to remove her from the couch where she had remained for about six years.

Wow, the whole green tea & M&M binge seems so um.....like nothing compared to being grafted to one's couch and dying. Damn, ew....ugh.

Sugar Coma, Sugar Hangover

An odd thing happened after I posted my last post last night, my computer crashed hard core. I blame Ann Coulter's hateful existence, but actually I had added a practically new printer to my system on Monday and the system has had little snafus and mini-crashes since and then, BAM! The thing is, is that this particular printer is a Compaq printer I bought for my piece-of-shit Compaq and damn if it wasn't XP compatible. As my brother walked me through all the steps checking all the crap that needed to be checked it was decided to reinstall XP and remove the printer's software, all the while I chomped on super sized M&M's and drank caffeinated green tea, I don't drink caffeine and all the sugar from the M&M's made me sleep restlessly and the dreams were horrible nightmares none of which I can remember. I do remember waking about 3am and eating yet another handful of M&M's and staring out a window, I was slightly coherent, well, I was the waking dead really and this morning I still feel that way. I curse your Ann Coulter Compaq and your shitty product. TGIF, amen. =P~

Coulterish Ignorance

"Kerry was in Vietnam for only four months, which, coincidentally, is less than the combined airtime he's spent talking about it. It takes a special kind of person to get that many people to hate your guts in so little time. The last time this many people hated one person after only four months was when Margaret Cho had her own sitcom." Via Ms. Coulter's hysterical and shall we say um...treasonous blog

Gosh Ms. Coulter, 4 months is nothing compared to one fucking sentence from your vile mouth and because my heart is big, I wouldn't say I hate you, I loathe you and your angry outlook towards my party. As for dissing Ms. Cho, just know that Margaret is a far greater human than you could ever aspire to be, but fear not, you still have time to evolve from the primordial ooze in which you choose to wallow in. Thanks and Have a Super Day! *smooch*

PS: For the love of Fuck woman, do something with that stringy-assmop of a hairdo, jest a lil' tip...mmmkay.

Its a Win/Win

I overslept, no time to spew, however I did pilfer some great links from Pie for your amusement. Let them sing it is fun and God knows if I could build a better Bush, I would and I did. Have a most joyous day, if you don't, tough shit, just do it to piss people off. And if your not for pissing people off then just have a good day because your alive and you have the time to play with the Presidents face and you have the time to type "Shit Fuck, Flying Monkey's squirt from your ass" into the "Let them sing it" module. Sing........sing a song.....make it simple...to last your whole life long....don't worry that's its not good enough...for anyone else to hear...just sing...SING A SONG. Ciao! :D

Beyond Bitchy and Prepare For An Ovary To Be Lodged In Nostril If Confronted

I'm having one of 'those' weeks, the kind of week where no matter how nice I am, no matter how prepared I think I am life, the fickle bitch she is, taunts me with stupidity. To be fair, because I'm all about fair, some of the stupidity was my own doing, but for the most part my biggest beef with this week so far is that I'm sick and fucking tired of the mean, nasty, and cruel people that have entered my store wanting Unfit for Command by those bitter swift boat comrades (right) that have come out against Kerry. I can't believe how many people want to read that shit, but we do love to read the dirt, don't we?

Also, with the Release of Bill Clinton's biography, I've heard nothing but bitter bitch comments from less than quality people. I've even had people call and complain about a Clinton display. It's my turn to say...SHUT UP! I don't want to hear the hate, I won't participate. I won't laugh at your not-so-witty comments and in my store it will NOT be tolerated, so save the pathetic swipes at liberals for someone who gives a shit, because being a nasty fuck will get you no where in life, except perhaps a gig in Politics.

Life is indeed a bitch, but she's amusing as well and if people took more time to laugh at themselves instead of wasting energy hating on others, everyone would be far more pleasant to deal with. Futile? Yeah, well I'll just keep smiling at all the conservative tight asses and hatemongers, I'll laugh with a dead on stare at their not-so-witty slams at the left and then I'll enquire about their perfect lives, their stellar ability to challenge what the refuse to understand and while they stammer over their answers in all their perfection and morality, I'll take their money like the good capitalist I am and carry on with day. Snarf.

Will the real Slim Shady Willy Wonka please stand up.

Letters from a real-life Willy Wonka to Roald Dahl have been discovered by researchers preparing papers for exhibition in a new museum dedicated to the author. But whereas Dahl's fictional creation owned a chocolate factory, his non-fiction namesake was a postman in Blue Hill, Nebraska, the letters reveal.

Cool.

EdGAR!

The Mariners designated hitter Edgar Martinez will retire after this season. If you follow baseball at all you'd know that the Mariners are sucking some bigtime ass this season, its so depressing that I keep forgetting its baseball season. Anyhoo, Edgar will be missed, oh hell, lets be real here as far as missing Mariners, I miss Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr., Tino Martinez, Norm "The Sheriff" Charlton, that little bitch A-rod and basically all the great baseball players that were once Mariners. Now, to be fair, some players have retired and the others were discarded by the Mariner front office, because their a bunch tight-assed, money pinchin', moody business men without one iota of what it takes to make a winning team. The great Lou Pinella left because he just got sick of their lack of anything resembling balls. UGH, thanks for the memories Edgar, there was a time just a few short years ago we had the best team on the planet. Okay, so we didn't win a World Series, but they were still the best and now its dwindle away, the season, the sodo mojo and the fans are fading away just as fast.

I'm not a fair weather Mariner fan, I'll support them, but those whiney chumps in the front office better get their shit together and soon. Don't make me start lovin' on my back-up bitch the Yankee's. I loved the Yanks since I was kid, but I'm also a little embarrassed to say that, because its like saying you only wear designer clothing, that is to say that's is just a wee bit pretentious and lazy to say you love the Yanks, because you lack any originality and are just following the baseball flow of life. The Yankee's may be baseball, but they have to play other teams and hopefully it will be an interesting game, but how can it when the Yank's keep getting all the great players? OMFG, my head hurts. *splat*

Creepy Mondays

Radiohead & Mondays always get me down. ;)

Mondays Should Be Illegal

Its gonna reach 90 degrees here today, expect little, i'll be too busy sweating away fluids. But I'll leave you with some Lord Of the Ring downloads, because enquiring geeks want to know. My eyes itch, ugh. :D Have a super day.

The Joy Of Sundays

Joi Ito's, summer reading list via NPR.

Damn, I've been in a sinus haze for about 4 days now, you catch all the good stuff when you travel by plane. Friday, the headache that was throbbing for two days busted open and while trying to sleep, I amused my cats with bubbles of snot, I slept for shit. Yesterday the nose wouldn't stop running, I managed to make it through my nieces 8th birthday party, because my sister doped me up with some Tylenol Cold & Sinus which I think I'm in love with, except that today I experienced spontaneous unconsciousness, naps whenever, where ever...dayum. I just woke from one and came over to check my email it was like morning all over again, I even continued drinking from the same coffee cup, the java was cold and then I remembered I made that shit this morning, yum. You've been a great audience, Thanks and good night. :D :|

Rats!

Neil Gaiman is a rat, well, according to Lisa Snelling's creativity he is and he doesn't seem to mind. The likeness is remarkable. ;)

There ain't nothing like a dame, nothing in the world

"I can ride and wield blade, and I do not fear either pain or death. ... No living man am I! You look upon a woman." -Eowyn from the LOTR

Heroic & Sexy women in the movies? It happens, just not on the same level as we find male hero's. Interesting article that doesn't mention Halle Berry's Catwoman at all, as a matter of fact no one seems to mention Catwoman, ooopsie. Also, Jennifer Garner's upcomping Elektra might give hope to the future of more woman as great super hero icons. [Via: Bookslut]

I'm back, your front and the rash, well...it wasn't me.

The adventure ended as quickly as it began. The plane, the plane...Airbus, the destination fucking Omaha Nebraska. The mission, to discuss the company's goals and receive a multitude of free books. The weather, well.....let's just say that walking into 90% humidity makes me spontaneously slap random people (tourette's for the hands if you will) for contributing to my discomfort. Innocent bystander: "Man, its HOT here.... Me: (Hot Sweaty and desperately trying to replace nicotine lost during 5 hours of flying & airports) "I hate this shit"..*slap*. (I'm a traveling bag o' sunshine) Breathing in such dense humid air is like sucking the air from another person, pointless, unless you've saved a life. The hotel, a brand new Hilton filled with the likes of Tuskegee Airmen, Bono on the privatized 8th floor and beds so damn plush I tried to fit one in my suitcase.

During one of the workshops Mother Nature herself bitchslapped the humidity by way of a massive thunder and lightening storm like I've never seen before, it went on for hours and was the most spectacular meteorological event I've ever experienced. The wind was insane, blowing every which way, including loose..heh, the lightning was shooting from everywhere and a few of us watched the event from an outside cabana, chain smoking after every clap of thunder, bookgeeks are easily stimulated and amused.

The event was uneventful, entirely too much information was crammed into our beleaguered minds and before we could say...uh what?...we were on our way home and the tragedy of it all was that Bono was never to be seen. Flying at night offered some gorgeous electrical storms in the distance and Direct TV for a $5 fee. We got into Seattle a little after midnight and after unpacking this morning I noticed flyers in both my bags stating they had been searched. I guess they were suspiciously heavy with all those damn books, their findings...books and dirty underwear, lucky them. Anyhoo, I'm home and recovering from the whirlwind expedition and the one thing I learned....never pack dirty dainties with books and midwestern electrical storms rock.

Whirlwinder, Dolls & Political Spew To Keep You Busy...Adieu, Adieu

I'm off on a whirlwind business trip to the midwest, two days of meetings and airplanes, and layovers, its fucking bullshit to be perfectly frank, is their anyother way to be frank?, I prefer Vegas or Reno for these meetings, but the cubicle monkeys have a poorly planned 'bugeted' agenda and will be damned if they don't stick to it. I'd like to tell them where to stick 'it' but I so enjoy that weekly paycheck. In my absence, feel free to amuse yourself with the delights of the the following:
Cupie's Best O' dee Web (for those who can't surf themselves)

Holy Batshit it's the Batman Trailer!
How to be creative here.
Make a Doll, or just be like one here.
Denial is a river in Egypt. *cheers*
Ron Reagan thumps Bush.
The Great Almighty Bungholio Experiment....
"Do not make my Bunghole angry!"
Play with the subservient President!
Could you be gay? Click and find out here.
Arrrrrr, Shiver me timbers and Talk Like a Pirate Day is approaching, arrr.

Okay, my ass is numb, I have to pack, be well, behave and see ya in a few days!

Comical Girl Power *Ka-Boing!*

I used to criticize bookslut for her mentions of graphic novels and comic books, who could give a shit? Right? Truth is I have a comic book rack in my apartment, as I've mentioned before, I'm so full of shit. My comics are mostly nicotine laced dandy's from the early 80's and a true collector would shiver at my treatment towards my comics. Dust aside, they sit in an old comic spinner, corners bending over, exposed to my cupie-elements and the comics in the lower pockets have some holes in them from one of my cat's past culinary fetishes, paper, yum.

My collection is mostly comprised of Mickey Mouse, Superman, Batman, Catwoman, Archie and the occasional X-men. I loved Archie, until I found myself in a similar Archie, Betty and Veronica situation and now I 'spit' on that wishy-washy mother fucker, Fuck Archie, Betty and Veronica would be better off just running off together to live in sapphic yet, comic bliss (imagine the shopping!). Anyhoo......now the little girls that used to read Archie are now into Manga according to this article and according to the young girls and grown women who buy hundreds of dollars worth of Manga every month at my store. Okay, so maybe girls didn't buy as many comics as boys over the years, but apparently the ladies are making up for lost time.

My love of comics has faded to the occasional graphic novel or books about comics. And I admit right here and now, that when bookslut mentions a comic, well...I click the link and sometimes even order the item for myself, because again, I'm full of shit. As for Manga, I can live without it, its overpriced for one and if I wanted to relate my persona to a Super Hero it wouldn't be the americanized Japanese version of a Super Hero, I would liken myself to the mutant femme fatals of X-men. When I bleached stripes in my hair back in the 90's it wasn't because Ginger Spice was setting the trend, it was because of the X-man standee I had in my office/backroom at the book store and I was having a "How can I destroy my hair in 2 steps or less moment". Nowadays, my bleached stripes are gone and the comic spinner full, neglected and now considered a dust collecter...sculpture, heh, if you spin it, it becomes performance art.

Special Delivery Via the Quote Whore ;)

"Our lives begin to end the day

we become silent

about things that matter."

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Hope Floats

It's true I've got a serious DNC hangover, I can't believe I watched the WHOLE thing! I was insanely flippin' the channels for days, FOX, MSNBC,CNBC, CNN, PBS and when they broke away from 'reality' t.v. the networks and when I wasn't flipping channels I was madly clicking webpages. What did I learn from watching it? Well, not a whole hell of a lot, but I do enjoy great theater. I could go on and on but, I'm sure other blogs will have a more analytical view, so I've decide to close my DNC spewfest with Fantasy SEX Camp DNC style"

Monday: Ben Affleck, yeah...um...I'm Cupie from the Block, please let me lick vote with you....great.
Tuesday: Mo Rocca, yeah, the bitch needs to slapped around a bit, but I promise I won't break those sexy glasses, I may stifle the witty banter, but only momentarily.
Wednesday: Jon Stewart just for being there. The content of the Daily Show kinda sucked ass last week, but Jon and gang did their best and their best wins on spot on my fantasy shagfest. Luckily they saved the best for last Back In Black with Lewis Clark, my next victim.
Thursday: Lewis Black, because, your life sucks and I'm the cherry to top it off, bitch. *smooch*
Friday: Barack Obama, smart gorgeous who could ask for anything more?
Saturday: Joaquin Phoenix, What? He wasn't there, whatever.
Sunday: Chris Hienz, he's gorgeous, period.

And there ya have it, my political mind is trashed and tired. Next up will be Fantasy Sex Camp from the RNC, slim pickin's but I'll see what I can do. ;)
[Via: Pie]