The Fake n' Bake fan has faded and Kerry wins this one and I predict the next two debates as well, will that be enough? It better be, because President Bush is just NOT ummm...how you say....good at expressing his opinion, his beliefs and his 'talking points' without sounding like a fucking dictator. This debate will be talked over, whined over and bitched about until the next debate, yippee!
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Mount St. Helens Spew!
Mount St. Helens needs to spew again. There has been lots of seismic activity, call it an itch if you will, and that itch needs scratchin'. Scientists are unable to determine if it will be an ash spew or an oozing of molten lava. It could happen any time now, I can't wait! Mother Nature has been so bitchy lately, perhaps some midol would help.
Volcano Cam
Volcano Terror Warning!
Stoned Slackers, Religious Zealots, Lion & Tigers & Bears, Oh freaking My!
“This election is going to rely on the undecided,” he said. “And who is more undecided than stoned slackers? Ice cream or pretzels? Ice cream or pretzels? What’s it going to be?”
Comedy Central takes offense in Bill O'Rielly's words, what I find continually amusing is how news anchors and the networks see The Daily Show as competition. Its not unlike the volumes of books that attempt to debunk The Da Vinci Code although its a piece of FICTION, yep, fiction. The Daily Show is satire, Da Vinci code fiction, do not fear them, enjoy the story, laugh at our shortcomings and um...get over it or write in Jon Stewarts name on the ballot November 2nd. ;)
The Horror
Friday, November 12, 2004 - Seattle, WA Benaroya Hall. Call 206-323-2992 or go to www.seattlemenschorus.org SOLD OUT
He sells out everytime, every god damned time, snarf.
He sells out everytime, every god damned time, snarf.
Monday, September 27, 2004
ATTENTION Bloggers!
We will be gone for a couple of days, so do me a favor, I would like to see, on my trusty blogroll, a blog from every state, so if you stop by and think you have something interesting to say about Art, Books, Politics, physical ticks, music and don't go on about clipping your toenails and letting the dog eat them and most importantly if you are amusing and come off as smart, even the slightest bit, I'll give it a look and add you to the list. Please leave your address in the comments and a little about your blog. This is a test, this is only a test. Thanks and have a superfantastic day!
Sunday, September 26, 2004
SLOW DOWN, dip in the road
There was a time, back in the day, that hardly anything was open on Sunday. Sunday was, once upon a time, a day of rest and leisure and we as a society took this lead from the big guy his self, God. Nowadays, people want the malls to stay open later on Sunday, we are so fucking over sensitized, so much on the God damned 'to do list', I so hate this new trend with a passion. Gimme, Gimme...GIVE IT TO ME! Howza bout, no. :) A 24 hour society in the name of Capitalism is fucking bullshit, we are tired, overworked, under paid, and we've become over booked. I say that Sunday hours stay the same, I say that businesses close on religious holidays, yet in the name of diversity, for our diverse culture, that would be silly when there's a buck to me made. I need to blow chunks now. Slow the fuck down people, slow down. Okay, I'm done bitching.
How Fucking American Are You?
Yes, well um, I guess this verify's my 'ass-hat' credentials, so be it. :D
This brought to you by those silly fuckwits of South Park fame and soon to be released Team America: World Police,
Saturday, September 25, 2004
How Fucked Is Florida?
This cartoon via Side-ways Salad and as I obsessively watch the likes of Joe Scarborough of MSNBC being tossed about like a ragdoll and The Weather Channel people go into high gear, I hope and pray that Florida wins round 4. Good Luck People.
:\
Beautiful Losers / Democracy
Thanks to cul for letting me um.......share this with you all. :D
Democracy
It's coming through a hole in the air,
from those nights in Tiananmen Square.
It's coming from the feel
that this ain't exactly real,
or it's real, but it ain't exactly there.
From the wars against disorder,
from the sirens night and day,
from the fires of the homeless,
from the ashes of the gay:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming through a crack in the wall;
on a visionary flood of alcohol;
from the staggering account
of the Sermon on the Mount
which I don't pretend to understand at all.
It's coming from the silence
on the dock of the bay,
from the brave, the bold, the battered
heart of Chevrolet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming from the sorrow in the street,
the holy places where the races meet;
from the homicidal bitchin'
that goes down in every kitchen
to determine who will serve and who will eat.
From the wells of disappointment
where the women kneel to pray
for the grace of God in the desert here
and the desert far away:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
Sail on, sail on
O mighty Ship of State!
To the Shores of Need
Past the Reefs of Greed
Through the Squalls of Hate
Sail on, sail on, sail on, sail on.
It's coming to America first,
the cradle of the best and of the worst.
It's here they got the range
and the machinery for change
and it's here they got the spiritual thirst.
It's here the family's broken
and it's here the lonely say
that the heart has got to open
in a fundamental way:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming from the women and the men.
O baby, we'll be making love again.
We'll be going down so deep
the river's going to weep,
and the mountain's going to shout Amen!
It's coming like the tidal flood
beneath the lunar sway,
imperial, mysterious,
in amorous array:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
Sail on, sail on ...
I'm sentimental, if you know what I mean
I love the country but I can't stand the scene.
And I'm neither left or right
I'm just staying home tonight,
getting lost in that hopeless little screen.
But I'm stubborn as those garbage bags
that Time cannot decay,
I'm junk but I'm still holding up
this little wild bouquet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
- Leonard Cohen
It's coming through a hole in the air,
from those nights in Tiananmen Square.
It's coming from the feel
that this ain't exactly real,
or it's real, but it ain't exactly there.
From the wars against disorder,
from the sirens night and day,
from the fires of the homeless,
from the ashes of the gay:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming through a crack in the wall;
on a visionary flood of alcohol;
from the staggering account
of the Sermon on the Mount
which I don't pretend to understand at all.
It's coming from the silence
on the dock of the bay,
from the brave, the bold, the battered
heart of Chevrolet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming from the sorrow in the street,
the holy places where the races meet;
from the homicidal bitchin'
that goes down in every kitchen
to determine who will serve and who will eat.
From the wells of disappointment
where the women kneel to pray
for the grace of God in the desert here
and the desert far away:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
Sail on, sail on
O mighty Ship of State!
To the Shores of Need
Past the Reefs of Greed
Through the Squalls of Hate
Sail on, sail on, sail on, sail on.
It's coming to America first,
the cradle of the best and of the worst.
It's here they got the range
and the machinery for change
and it's here they got the spiritual thirst.
It's here the family's broken
and it's here the lonely say
that the heart has got to open
in a fundamental way:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
It's coming from the women and the men.
O baby, we'll be making love again.
We'll be going down so deep
the river's going to weep,
and the mountain's going to shout Amen!
It's coming like the tidal flood
beneath the lunar sway,
imperial, mysterious,
in amorous array:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
Sail on, sail on ...
I'm sentimental, if you know what I mean
I love the country but I can't stand the scene.
And I'm neither left or right
I'm just staying home tonight,
getting lost in that hopeless little screen.
But I'm stubborn as those garbage bags
that Time cannot decay,
I'm junk but I'm still holding up
this little wild bouquet:
Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.
- Leonard Cohen
Desperately seeking Jon Stewart during the debates
To make each televised Bush-Kerry debate a success, we'll need a witty moderator who can think on his feet and put the candidates back on their heels.
Where, oh where, is Jon Stewart when we really need him!
Now that would make the debates 'must see tv'. Don't get me wrong, I'll be watching and wishin' and hopin' and most likely rashing. :D
Friday, September 24, 2004
Cynthia Nixon's To Do List
1.) Win Emmy for sex in the city. a
2.) Continue to treat Kim Cattrall like a pariah for fucking up any chances of a Sex In The City movie. a
3.) Become a Lesbian. a
Carrie: How does that work, you go to bed one night, you wake up the next morning and POOF your a lesbian?
Miranda: Oh I forget to tell you, I'm a fire hydrant!
Carrie: Yeah, I'm a shoe, I always wanted to be one and POOF now I am.
Charlotte: I don't think she's a lesbian, I think she just ran out men.
Congratulations on being a fire hydrant Cynthia, finding someone to share your life with in this world is a bitch and love between two consenting single adults, whichever sex, is a blessing. As Samantha would say, "Vagina Schmagina".
Thursday, September 23, 2004
St. Lestat Or Anne Rice Pitches A Fit, Bitch.
Everyone's a damn Saint!
Anne Rice bitchslapped a few Amazon reviewers, sadly it has been deleted from Amazon, but leave to the uber geeks to save the text.
Btw, Ms. Rice seems to approve of the Kerry/Edwards ticket.
"Lestat's wanting to be a saint is a vision larded through and through with his characteristic vanity. It connects perfectly with his earlier ambitions to be an actor in Paris, a rock star in the modern age. If you can't see that, you aren't reading my work. In his conversation with the Pope he makes observations on the times which are in continuity with his observations on the late twentieth century in The Vampire Lestat, and in continuity with Marius' observations in that book and later in Queen of the Damned. The state of the world has always been an important theme in the chronicles. Lestat's comments matter. Every word he speaks is part of the achievement of this book. That Lestat renounced this saintly ambition within a matter of pages is plain enough for you to see."
Anne Rice bitchslapped a few Amazon reviewers, sadly it has been deleted from Amazon, but leave to the uber geeks to save the text.
Btw, Ms. Rice seems to approve of the Kerry/Edwards ticket.
St. Clinton
Okay, so he's not really a saint and yeah, Mother Teresa just rolled over in her grave, but its so fashion forward!
[via: vvb]
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
"Bookbloggers, stop linking to Amazon!"
The above is requested by Quinn @ bookwatch. I won't stop, I can't, the world is changing at hyperspeed and well, Amazon is convenient and recognizable. I love the independent bookstores, but they're not on my computer, yanno. Just because you link to Amazon doesn't mean your buying from them. Amazon, to me at least, is a reference tool, nothing more. I love bookstores more than men, I love to browse, I love to touch and turn the pages (men hold issue with me licking my finger and flippen' them). Book stores are the brick & mortar of the bookselling world, straight up. I strongly believe that Bookstores will forever remain a staple in our lives, yes, the weak will die, it is after all, survival of the fittest, but they will remain in our lives, if for any reason other than tactile, no matter how sterile the ambiance.
Sky Captain & The World Of Tomorrow
I'm am so gay for Angela Jolie, that aside, I really enjoyed Sky Captain & The World Of Tomorrow. Sky Captain is CGI in your face, its beautiful, its fun and Jude Law should call me anytime now for a date/booty call...lol...mmmkay...Jolie can call me for a date, either way, I love beautiful things and this movie is LOADED with beautiful imagery, fast paced adventure and amazing evil robots. LOVED IT! I give it five stars, two thumbs up, two snaps and a slap on the ass for effort. I truly feel that this movie is a masterpiece of sorts, but then I went to the movie because Jolie looks so hot with an eye patch, so that would make me materialistic and gosh golly gee, I'm good with that.
Oh yeah, I must speak my peace here. Gwenyth Paltrow is extremely overrated as an actress, as a matter of fact she sucketh the royal assdumb of acting. Gwenyth is the Winona "Shopliftin' to save on the taxes" Ryder of current Hollywood "OMG, she so Rocks" fame. She won the Academy Award because of her lineage, Shakespeare in Love was a cute film, but she sucked a ripe, rash nipple, she won because she's full on fucking gorgeous, smart and the daughter of the acclaimed and brilliant Blythe Danner & Bruce Paltrow, Hollywood elite. Gwennie is just a chick with an Apple and a Rockstar hubby, that's all fine and dandy, but as an actress, she makes me wanna jam foreign objects in my eye repeatedly while viewing her flicks, America, get over it. I will say that she is quite beautiful in this flick, she comes off as smart and witty, but its Law and Jolie that steal the show with their chemistry and that is why their characters had a fling. Sorry about the spoiler there, but it had to be said. I'd much rather imagine Sky Captain & Captain Frankie doing the wild thang than imagining a wasp attemping to sting. *smooch*
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
TMLTMF is dead, long live TMLTMF!
"This blog has sucked lately, and our heart hasn't been in it. (We've been too busy writing slash fiction about that guy in the red pants from The Apprentice.)"
Btw, me thinks the guy in the red pants on the Apprentice is so very sexy, that aside, good luck to who ever the fuck this guy was, because I've enjoyed reading his blog for 2+ years, I've enjoyed seeing if he'd make it through yet another hangover and I've enjoyed learning new words like "twatosity" from him. Another Blog bites the dust just when they're earning so much respect from the media and so much resentment from Dan Rather.
The Major Lift, The Minor Fall, no truer word have been spewed. Best Wishes sir.
[via bookslut]
"the Dan Rather of infotainment"
Fake news has never had it so good with Jon Stewart at the helm, I'm not saying that Mr. Stewart is at Ed Helms (Daily Show correspondent) house, I'm saying that The Daily Show is probably my favorite television show EVER! And thankfully these fella's have taken time away from reporting all that's fake, to put together a text book that would tickle Howard Zinn, because, although its satire at its funniest, its so very truthful, dead on and laugh-out-loud hysterical. With a foreword by Thomas Jefferson how could it not make you bust a nut, or two. Buy, steal or borrow this book, it will make your breasts bigger, it will enlarge your penis and it will make you a better American. ;)
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Britney Spears Marries Pirate!
The pirate speaks,"Access Hollywood has learned that pop star Britney Spears and aftup dancer Kevin Federline have tied t' knot."
Pirate Translator here.
Wedding Photos @ Stereogum, so chewy, meow.
Pirate Translator here.
Wedding Photos @ Stereogum, so chewy, meow.
Pirate Riddles via McSweeney's
Q: Of which concept shared by Jungian psychology and Northrop Frye's literary theory are pirates especially fond?
A: ARRRchetype. [via Steinsomthing]
A: ARRRchetype. [via Steinsomthing]
Talk Like A Pirate Day, Matey!
Avast me hearties, yo um...ho. Embrace your filthy inner pirate, embrace your Johnny Depp 'Jack Sparrow' Blow-up doll and whoop it up today....arrrrrrr.
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Iron Jawed Angels
"Women should be tough, tender, laugh as much as possible, and live long lives. The struggle for equality continues unabated, and the woman warrior who is armed with wit and courage will be among the first to celebrate victory".-Maya Angelou
It was just 74 years ago that women finally received the right to vote their minds. We all know about Susan B. Anthony, but what about Alice Paul, Carrie Chapman Catt, Inez Milholland, Lucy Burns, Mabel Vernon well Iron Jawed Angels tells their suffrage story, its a brilliant movie and you need to watch it and then study up on what you want to vote for, then do it, because, before these women did what they did for our rights, you couldn't.
Teacher Arrested After Bookmark Called Concealed Weapon
TAMPA, Fla. -- A weight may soon be lifted off a Maryland woman charged with carrying a concealed weapon in an airport.
WOW, Homeland Security saved the day one more time! I'm thinking the book could do more damage than the 'bookmark', books are terribly dangerous, paper cuts, sharp corners to jam in eyes and depending on the thickness, one could thump the living hell out of someone if they really wanted to. Maybe the bookmark reminded the security guards of a past flogging incident, hmmm. [link via DB]
It wasn't a gun or a knife. It was a weighted bookmark.
Kathryn Harrington was flying home from vacation last month when screeners at the Tampa, Fla., airport found her bookmark. It's an 8.5-inch leather strip with small lead weights at each end.
Airport police said it resembled a weighted weapon that could be used to knock people unconscious. So the 52-year-old special education teacher was handcuffed, put into a police car, and charged with carrying a concealed weapon.
She faced a possible criminal trial and a $10,000 fine. But the state declined to prosecute, and the Transportation Security Administration said it probably won't impose a fine.
Harrington said she'll never again carry her bookmark into an airport.
WOW, Homeland Security saved the day one more time! I'm thinking the book could do more damage than the 'bookmark', books are terribly dangerous, paper cuts, sharp corners to jam in eyes and depending on the thickness, one could thump the living hell out of someone if they really wanted to. Maybe the bookmark reminded the security guards of a past flogging incident, hmmm. [link via DB]
Quote O' the Week
KING: You don't think Iraq is becoming Vietnam, do you?
MAHER: No. In Vietnam, George Bush had an exit strategy. I'm joking, of course. But there are certainly some areas that are similar. It is something of a quagmire.
I do love the word quagmire, mire the quag if you will, alrighty, I just thought that was funny as shit, well, as funny as shit can be, think of corn.
Friday, September 17, 2004
TGIF, whatever.
Oh how slack we can be when we don't feel like spewing all week. Killer Hurricanes, Fashion Week, Martha Stewart skips the Holidays as to get on with life and I'm all, "whatever". It's the change in the seasons for sure. The shorter days, the extra workload and the rain zapped my interest in the computer this week. Fear not, I'll be obsessing over new "whatever's" next week, but for now I'm off to work, so that when I get home I can pass out again. zzz :\
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Sign Of the Apocolypse
Oompa lumpa fleshtoned heiress Paris Hilton has been cast as Daisy Buchanan in a remake of the Great Gatsby, God Save Us All.
Monday, September 13, 2004
The Family (Horse Head Not Required, Yet)
The White House took weeks to separate themselves from the Swiftboat Vet's ass- reaming book Unfit For Command, it has taken them all of minutes to to call Kitty Kelly's biopic portrayal of the Bush Family as 'trash'. On the Today show this morning Matt Lauer was commended by Ms. Kelly for interviewing her despite pressures from The White House to do otherwise. Matt was far from soft on Ms. Kelly and her 'type' journalism and shortly after Ms. Kelly's appearance Sharon Bush was there to refute statements she made in front of witnesses.
An unprecidented amount of trees have given their lives for more bitter bullshit, again proving that the Bush Administration is not friendly to the environment, lol. Anyhoo, I'm sure that the book will hit number 1 on the bestseller lists and I'm sure I'll hear all sorts of hateful crap from customers who'll liken booksellers to the spawn of Satan. This has got to be the most hateful political climate I have ever experienced, damn fine work there Dubya, everyone hates everyone, God Bless America.
An unprecidented amount of trees have given their lives for more bitter bullshit, again proving that the Bush Administration is not friendly to the environment, lol. Anyhoo, I'm sure that the book will hit number 1 on the bestseller lists and I'm sure I'll hear all sorts of hateful crap from customers who'll liken booksellers to the spawn of Satan. This has got to be the most hateful political climate I have ever experienced, damn fine work there Dubya, everyone hates everyone, God Bless America.
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Friday, September 10, 2004
The Finger Of God
Oy! [via: Dave Barry]
For more hurricane spew, try my two favorite Florida Bloggers Side Salad or with a political spin try Ratboy's Anvil.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Fashion 101: Asshats & Moonbats Have No Boundries
"It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States," Cheney told about 350 supporters at a town-hall meeting in this Iowa city".
Also, do keep in mind that if you don't brush your teeth 3 times a day the Boogie Man will slither up your nose while you attempt slumber and eat your brain, you have been warned.
If what Dickmiester Cheney says is true, then wouldn't the morons (yes, your retarded to the point of drooling sychophancy) that attacked our security on 9-11-2001, would have blasted our asses when Clinton was in office? And to say such things near the anniversary of the attack is a twisted display of desperation.
Fuck You Cheney and Fuck the Bush administration for feeding on our fear. The terrorist threat was there long before you 'moonbats' came to serve our nation, but apparently those fucktards felt they could get away with it when Bush was in office, think about that, bitchez! Snarf!
Two Muppets named top scientists
"They beat their closest rival by a margin of 2 to 1 and won 33 percent of the 43,000 votes cast in an Internet poll published in Monday.
Spock came in a distance second with 15 percent followed by The Doctor, from Dr Who, who garnered 13 percent. Scully, the only woman in the poll, came in sixth.
"They are accessible, humorous and occasionally blow each other up," said Roland Jackson, of the British Association for the Advancement of Science (BA)".
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Is that A Bumbershoot In Your Pocket Or Are You Freakishly Happy To Be Here?
You can Bumbershoot, but you can't shoot your Bumber, the rain gets in that way. Bumbershoot is one of the country's largest urban art festivals, there was so much to see it was almost overwhelming, so we, my brother Terry, his wife and my concert bitch Kelly, my gorgeous niece Sara and my awesome nephew Sean, mapped our agenda according to what we wanted to see. Some events we saw together, other events we went our own ways, here are some of the highlights:
Krist Novoselic, the former bassist for Nirvana, was there pimping his new book"Of Grunge and Government", I like the guys politics, so I bought the book, unfortunately we missed his talk about the book due to the Girlie Fun Show art exhibit, how I do enjoy a frilly corset lamp and feminist artwork, it makes me thirsty so off to join my brother and family friend Bob for one of many beers at one of the many themed beer gardens. Realizing that we missed his reading, my brother and I ended up being one of the first in line for the book signing, where upon we reminded Krist of who we were and what we did once upon a time back in Aberdeen, we laughed, said our good byes and left with our signed books only to be followed by a Daily World reporter, just the mention your from Aberdeen ironically ups your status on the coolmeter of life and hearing that we knew Krist back in the day, the reporter wanted to know if we had made the trip to the festival to hear Krist speak, we said "umm...no, we just saw his name on the schedule and came to say hi", "and you know him" he asked, "yes, that is why we said hello, it works that way"....names and numbers exchanged, we walked away from our first stalking of the cursed paparazzi, periphial celebrity is lame, but hard work.
Liz Phair was next on our agenda. Somewhere between "Fuck & Run" and "Why Can't I Breathe" Liz found a new audience of thong wearing teenyboplets. It made me feel youthful being around so many young girls digging on her music, so youthful that I felt the need to embrace my girlie nature and entertain the possibility that I too, could wear a thong, let the string ride my crack and never show pantylines again, that is until reality set in after finding the thong attempt of 2001 still lodged there. Okay, truth be told there wasn't a thong in my bum, it was lint and it was stinky, so I cannot even fathom any attempt of the pseudo-undergarments irritating my tender nether regions, I may never listen to Liz Phair again.
The John Butler Trio performed on a stage under the shadow of the Space Needle, fortunately for me there was yet another themed beer garden (smiling suns) which made the viewing of the thong wearing hippies dancing tolerable. Will the John Butler Trio follow in the steps of Phish or the Grateful Dead? Who can say, but if you like, we can discuss this over a bong hit and a pint of Phishfood and whatever the outcome of our discussion, just know that under no circumstance should you ever ask me to wear a thong, ice cream yes, thong, no.
Opting out of the Hip-Hop show at the mainstage, because I am neither hip nor have I ever been hop and knowing that deep down Public Enemy wouldn't give me the same warm fuzzy feeling/damp panties I knew I would experience watching the Pollack-Hodgman interviews, we were off to the Starbucks Literary Stage. Being one of only 6 people who still reads Mr. Pollack's blog (I reread the same posts as if under a spell) I felt it was my duty to see what this person was like in the flesh and just who the fuck was this Hodgman character?
After a hysterical introduction by Hodgman, Neal read some of his writings of which I was so blinded by my lust for that chin dimple I couldn't even begin to tell you what the fuck he read. A short interview followed with Hodgman and Neal playfully out witting each other to the point of my own personal literary orgasm and then the moment of truth, the Q&A with the audience. I hadn't even thought of what I might ask Mr. Pollack, but I reached deep within my beer soaked brain and asked "How thick do you think your FBI file is?" his reply "Oh God, I love euphemisms" noting that he didn't think he had a FBI file, my mind went numb imagining the potential girth of the um....file. Afterwards, I ran my chubby ass out to the book signing table like a freaking groupie and happily drooled over him while he signed my book Nevermind The Pollacks he was happy to finally meet the person who bought the hardcover and obligingly signed his short story in Created In Darkness By Troubled Americans; The Best of McSweeney's Humor Category, I purchased a copy of The Neal Pollack Anthology of literature for my niece 14 yr old niece Sara of which he graciously signed it to his newest and youngest fan. Neal, thanks for good time, you have two new fans in Kelly and Sara and yes, I will continue to spread the good news and from one sassy bitch to another, golly, I think your fucking swell.
At Neal's suggestion, I also had John Hodgman "Former Literary Agent" and brilliant humorist in his own right, sign his stories in the McSweeney's as well and then he signed other peoples stories stating who he knew and who he wasn't. Okay, so I didn't know who he was completely until I googled his ass today, I wonder if it felt it? Hmmm...anyhoo, while signing away, he enquired as to why I didn't shout out my blog address in a fit of self promoting glory to the audience, I just muttered some self-depreciating bullshit and then told him he could Google 'Cupie' if he ever wanted to read my spew. I'm not a trained writer and being one of those 'some college' chicks, I'm always a little leery to have someone in publishing read my babble. I don't blog with aspirations of a book deal (kinda, well maybe the thought crossed my mind once or twice, but then I also dreamed of marrying Michael Jackson as child), I blog because if I don't, I get a rash this size of Texas AND Hurricane Frances on my lint riddled ass and I'm out of oinment at this point in my life. So, if you do end up reading this John, have mercy, I just hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the interview with Neal and know that you now have a new fan. Let the stalking commence!
We also saw The Marley Brothers perform, another diverse crowd with the ability to bob their heads to the rythm of reggae music. I stood in a hideous line with my niece and nephew to experience all of 10 minutes worth of The Killers set, we had a minor altercation with a butchedoutminidykefromhell line-cutter, which almost exploded into full on warfare, but once composed and the evil succubus was booted from the line, I dragged the kids into the stadium to see the hottest thing since sliced bread and I actually enjoyed them, the kids did too, so take that you nasty butchedoutminidykefrom, HA!
After time spent in the Voodoo Lounge beer garden, we were off to listen to some blues and then finally at the end of a very satisfying weekend reveling in the Arts, we saw the Pixies. The stadium was at full capacity and although we were far from the stage we didn't care, what mattered is that we got to hear and see them in all their middle-aged glory. They sounded terrific, they rocked, I rolled, they sang, I annoyingly sang along, occasionally I would stand and block the view for the people sitting behind, for that I'm sorry, but this was a long time coming and there was no stopping my pasty white ass from rocking out. We left before the last encore so we could beat the hellish Seattle traffic, but what we did see was enough, I'm satisfied & overstimulated, I'm spent and I'm done spewing for now.
Krist Novoselic, the former bassist for Nirvana, was there pimping his new book"Of Grunge and Government", I like the guys politics, so I bought the book, unfortunately we missed his talk about the book due to the Girlie Fun Show art exhibit, how I do enjoy a frilly corset lamp and feminist artwork, it makes me thirsty so off to join my brother and family friend Bob for one of many beers at one of the many themed beer gardens. Realizing that we missed his reading, my brother and I ended up being one of the first in line for the book signing, where upon we reminded Krist of who we were and what we did once upon a time back in Aberdeen, we laughed, said our good byes and left with our signed books only to be followed by a Daily World reporter, just the mention your from Aberdeen ironically ups your status on the coolmeter of life and hearing that we knew Krist back in the day, the reporter wanted to know if we had made the trip to the festival to hear Krist speak, we said "umm...no, we just saw his name on the schedule and came to say hi", "and you know him" he asked, "yes, that is why we said hello, it works that way"....names and numbers exchanged, we walked away from our first stalking of the cursed paparazzi, periphial celebrity is lame, but hard work.
Liz Phair was next on our agenda. Somewhere between "Fuck & Run" and "Why Can't I Breathe" Liz found a new audience of thong wearing teenyboplets. It made me feel youthful being around so many young girls digging on her music, so youthful that I felt the need to embrace my girlie nature and entertain the possibility that I too, could wear a thong, let the string ride my crack and never show pantylines again, that is until reality set in after finding the thong attempt of 2001 still lodged there. Okay, truth be told there wasn't a thong in my bum, it was lint and it was stinky, so I cannot even fathom any attempt of the pseudo-undergarments irritating my tender nether regions, I may never listen to Liz Phair again.
The John Butler Trio performed on a stage under the shadow of the Space Needle, fortunately for me there was yet another themed beer garden (smiling suns) which made the viewing of the thong wearing hippies dancing tolerable. Will the John Butler Trio follow in the steps of Phish or the Grateful Dead? Who can say, but if you like, we can discuss this over a bong hit and a pint of Phishfood and whatever the outcome of our discussion, just know that under no circumstance should you ever ask me to wear a thong, ice cream yes, thong, no.
Opting out of the Hip-Hop show at the mainstage, because I am neither hip nor have I ever been hop and knowing that deep down Public Enemy wouldn't give me the same warm fuzzy feeling/damp panties I knew I would experience watching the Pollack-Hodgman interviews, we were off to the Starbucks Literary Stage. Being one of only 6 people who still reads Mr. Pollack's blog (I reread the same posts as if under a spell) I felt it was my duty to see what this person was like in the flesh and just who the fuck was this Hodgman character?
After a hysterical introduction by Hodgman, Neal read some of his writings of which I was so blinded by my lust for that chin dimple I couldn't even begin to tell you what the fuck he read. A short interview followed with Hodgman and Neal playfully out witting each other to the point of my own personal literary orgasm and then the moment of truth, the Q&A with the audience. I hadn't even thought of what I might ask Mr. Pollack, but I reached deep within my beer soaked brain and asked "How thick do you think your FBI file is?" his reply "Oh God, I love euphemisms" noting that he didn't think he had a FBI file, my mind went numb imagining the potential girth of the um....file. Afterwards, I ran my chubby ass out to the book signing table like a freaking groupie and happily drooled over him while he signed my book Nevermind The Pollacks he was happy to finally meet the person who bought the hardcover and obligingly signed his short story in Created In Darkness By Troubled Americans; The Best of McSweeney's Humor Category, I purchased a copy of The Neal Pollack Anthology of literature for my niece 14 yr old niece Sara of which he graciously signed it to his newest and youngest fan. Neal, thanks for good time, you have two new fans in Kelly and Sara and yes, I will continue to spread the good news and from one sassy bitch to another, golly, I think your fucking swell.
At Neal's suggestion, I also had John Hodgman "Former Literary Agent" and brilliant humorist in his own right, sign his stories in the McSweeney's as well and then he signed other peoples stories stating who he knew and who he wasn't. Okay, so I didn't know who he was completely until I googled his ass today, I wonder if it felt it? Hmmm...anyhoo, while signing away, he enquired as to why I didn't shout out my blog address in a fit of self promoting glory to the audience, I just muttered some self-depreciating bullshit and then told him he could Google 'Cupie' if he ever wanted to read my spew. I'm not a trained writer and being one of those 'some college' chicks, I'm always a little leery to have someone in publishing read my babble. I don't blog with aspirations of a book deal (kinda, well maybe the thought crossed my mind once or twice, but then I also dreamed of marrying Michael Jackson as child), I blog because if I don't, I get a rash this size of Texas AND Hurricane Frances on my lint riddled ass and I'm out of oinment at this point in my life. So, if you do end up reading this John, have mercy, I just hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the interview with Neal and know that you now have a new fan. Let the stalking commence!
We also saw The Marley Brothers perform, another diverse crowd with the ability to bob their heads to the rythm of reggae music. I stood in a hideous line with my niece and nephew to experience all of 10 minutes worth of The Killers set, we had a minor altercation with a butchedoutminidykefromhell line-cutter, which almost exploded into full on warfare, but once composed and the evil succubus was booted from the line, I dragged the kids into the stadium to see the hottest thing since sliced bread and I actually enjoyed them, the kids did too, so take that you nasty butchedoutminidykefrom, HA!
After time spent in the Voodoo Lounge beer garden, we were off to listen to some blues and then finally at the end of a very satisfying weekend reveling in the Arts, we saw the Pixies. The stadium was at full capacity and although we were far from the stage we didn't care, what mattered is that we got to hear and see them in all their middle-aged glory. They sounded terrific, they rocked, I rolled, they sang, I annoyingly sang along, occasionally I would stand and block the view for the people sitting behind, for that I'm sorry, but this was a long time coming and there was no stopping my pasty white ass from rocking out. We left before the last encore so we could beat the hellish Seattle traffic, but what we did see was enough, I'm satisfied & overstimulated, I'm spent and I'm done spewing for now.
Friday, September 03, 2004
Viva BushViva Clinton!
It's over, the RNC is over, thank you lord, its over! And now a vast left-wing conspiracy to detract from the small success of the Bush Lovefest, President Bill Clintion is about to have by-pass surgery, granted, its not a terror alert, but I'm certain....with the right amount of spin....this could eventually become some sort of liberal treason. More News Later..
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Cupie Spew & The Terrible Two's
It's hard to believe I've been doing this blogging stuff for two years now, but I have, not because I have to but, because I want to, its a neurotic need to have my voice be heard, babbling or not. What I've learned since I've started blogging is that the world is much smaller than I thought, that I need an editor and that I've gained two inches around my waste, because sitting at a computer for hours is not conducive to abs of steel.
I, like others, have likened the Internet to the Adventures of Alice In Wonderland the strange and wonderful experiences of learning something new and meeting some interesting characters. I fell down the rabbit hole called blogging, I share a piece of my life, my opinions and my insanity to the world. I don't know how much longer this will keep my interest, but until then, I blog (you've read this before) Therefore I am.
The New Power Generation
I've been quite busy this week, babies, work and one awesome evening with Prince. The greatest example of 'diversity' is attending a Prince concert, all ages, every shade of skin color possible and not a single fight or angry protestor was to be seen. For example, the woman sitting next to me was easily in her 80's, napped on occasion and after one very beautiful song the old lady grabbed my hand and shouted in my ear, "Praise Jesus! This is glorious day!" and then dozed off again.
When you go to a Prince concert be prepared to shake your ass, which I did, until the old ladies cane put me in a compromising position. I knew this was a magical night, the vibe was so accepting, tolerant and dare I say peaceful. The New Power Generation Band was tight that night, Prince's scrawny butt was tight too and at one point in the show he invited audience members to dance on stage and continued to show no prejudice, fat chicks with feather boa's, crazy white man dancer, sexy lil' slut, Hippie chick dancing some interpretive shit no one understood, but they were allowed to dance up there for as long as they wanted and they did.
Diversity and great music all brought to us by a tiny giant in the music industry. He made us briefly forget about the RNC, Elections and 'evil doers' out there mucking up our lives. Age, skin color and politics didn't dominate the evening, just a sassy brilliant black man with his guitar. I wouldn't say it was a religious experience, it was more an exciting spiritual connect, a connect to one human from another and the collective joy that music brings.
When you go to a Prince concert be prepared to shake your ass, which I did, until the old ladies cane put me in a compromising position. I knew this was a magical night, the vibe was so accepting, tolerant and dare I say peaceful. The New Power Generation Band was tight that night, Prince's scrawny butt was tight too and at one point in the show he invited audience members to dance on stage and continued to show no prejudice, fat chicks with feather boa's, crazy white man dancer, sexy lil' slut, Hippie chick dancing some interpretive shit no one understood, but they were allowed to dance up there for as long as they wanted and they did.
Diversity and great music all brought to us by a tiny giant in the music industry. He made us briefly forget about the RNC, Elections and 'evil doers' out there mucking up our lives. Age, skin color and politics didn't dominate the evening, just a sassy brilliant black man with his guitar. I wouldn't say it was a religious experience, it was more an exciting spiritual connect, a connect to one human from another and the collective joy that music brings.
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