Katrina is a selfish succubus. From Sunday until last evening I was obsessed with the coverage. Today it's just another part of life on a spinning rock. I'm not discounting the horrors, but damn if I don't need something to smile at, so when I ran across Cat In Sinks a website devoted soley to um..cats in sinks, I got my smile.

I make polymer beads, or I use to before I got sucked into the blogosphere. My cat Ruby, the sweetest little black rat-cat you'll ever meet, loves beads; she picks her favorite from the lot, carries it in her mouth to the bathroom, jumps into the bathtub and proceeds to play roller-bead-ball for hours or until the bead gets jammed between the stopper and the drain after which, Ruby naps for a few hours, chasing sparklies is hard work. She has a favorite color and size, usually yellow and approximately 6 mm, which I'm thankful for as the beads don't go down the drain; I'd hate to have to send her down the drain hunting for beads like little baby Jessica's, that might be considered inhumane.

To cats, sinks and tubs are a cool place of repose and play, the toilet, when flushed, is magical to watch as if salmon were spawning in there. To us mere humans, bathrooms are a place to wash away our personal grime, dump the kids at the pool, etc, we lack the imagination of our feline friends, but then again, if all you had to do was eat, sleep and be adored, the bathroom would seem like Disneyland.

Lot's of people lost their pets due to Katrina's wrath, you can donate to the Humane Society to help those who can't help themselves, meow.

Walk a mile in any one of the victims of the hurricane, just take a minute to visualize the hell these people are forced to endure. Sacrifice one thing and share it with the needy, for me, it was what little money I have saved towards a computer course this fall, it can wait until winter. Trust me, I'm normally not such a gracious person, but it's about our humanity, people do need people. And as for the looters, Karma will get them, trust me.

More ways to give here. [via: intentblog]

Please take some time to donate $$ to the RED CROSS for the victims of that bitch hurricane Katrina, they need your help and also, whoever took Dorothy's Ruby Reds, shame on you.

I'm loaded with the questions today or perhaps I'm just loaded, one can never tell. Links O Dee Day O~

An alternative State Of The Union???.

A War To Be Proud Of (?) Christopher Hitchen's article he mentioned during The Daily Show Interview. [via here and via there]

~~~o
Margaret Cho loves da chubbies. Ah, great minds?

I am a Modern, Cool Nerd. Duh.
56 % Nerd, 60% Geek, 39% Dork

For The Record:
~~~o
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

It's like I'm equal parts geek and nerd with a dash of dork, I feel special.
Take the Test.
[via Shakespeare's Sis The Outcast Genius]
~~~o
And speaking of cool nerds the Spew's own Andy Stienhebel is now a forgein exchange student in Japan and has his pictures posted here. Very cool pictures Andy.

Once a fresh looking teen idol, Hilary Duff has gone from beautiful and healthy looking to kind of a skanky and the new teeth make her look like Mr. Ed. A Horse is a horse, of course and a totally affected young woman needs a spine implant, pronto. Dayum, I'm not going to be mean here, but really, what fucking dentist said ok to horse teeth? Big Hollywood teeth didn't work for Courtney Love and they don't work for you and for the love of all that is edible, eat something, anything. And ladies, know this, a little bronzer goes a long way a looooooooooooooong way, if you don't have a tan, you don't have a fucking have a tan and to all you "Beauty Experts" get over the bronzer already, it looked awful in the 70's, 80's, and thankfully the 90's couldn't give a shit, but that bronzing crap is back, and honestly it just looks awful.

Also, I don't get the "Spray on Tanning" and self tanner trend, no matter how much they say you won't have streaks or won't appear "orange" you still look like a fucking orange zebra. God in it's infinite design made the Sun and we like it, we do, but we made our ozone disaster, letting the Sun's rays breed skin cancer in some. So, instead of getting gradual sun to attain that healthy brown tone we all admire, we've created the shortcut of all shortcuts in "spray on's" and self-tanners which ultimately don't make you healthy, but rather you resemble a pre-cancerous Oompa loompa, dead sexy.

A little message to young ladies everywhere, dare to not fall prey to the "Beauty Experts", dare to not get Giant Horse teeth and Oompa loompa skin. I would kill to have Hilary Duff's original smile. Rebel against it. Don't tell me pink is the new black, brown is the new black, there is no fucking new black. Black is black, bronzer is gauche and big Hollywood teeth are for caricatures. Okay, I'm done, carry on.

The 2005 Mtv Video Awards as observed by a tired and bitchy Cupie (I know, what's new, deal with it):
Opening with Green Day singing Boulevard Of Broken dreams was a smart move MTV and we dug it when Billie Joe thumped his chest at the end of the song like Celine Dion on meth, cool.

Diddy says "you got to let yourself be free", sure, whatever you say Diddy, I'm free, but surcharges may apply.

Nelly and Lindsay (feed me) Lohan appear on stage, her dress is hideous and I kinda want to punch her, but that would solve nothing and with that the winner of Best Male & Female in a video: Kelly Clarkson, who finally found her rockin' post Idol niche' and Kayne West, I guess Jesus does walk with the dude and kudos for coming out against gay bashing, Jesus, divine or not, would be proud.

[Quick Hurricane update and yes, it's still a hurricane.]

Ciara and a skinny (it's just not right) Missy Elliott take the stage to present Ludacris and Bobby Valentino, who? What? I did the samba "all over the world" my cats hate me now.

Puffy, P. Diddy, Diddy, whoever the fuck he is, spews the obligatory expletives, such a rebel. *yawn*

Orlando Bloom (drool) and Kirsten Dunce (tee-hee) take the stage to present best Rock Video and the winner is: Green Day for Blvd Of Broken Dreams, which we love, but we love the Killer's Mr. Brightside right at the moment, whatever.

[Bourbon Street, New Orleans, no tits, no beads, just wind and rain, I can't imagine why?]

Grand Master Flash; Diddy - dance bitch, dance. I could take my bra off and walk across the apartment with the same results.

Hammer time; if I had more to drink, I would get hammered at this point.

Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson take the stage, the I.Q. just dropped to about 80 in da house, yo. mmmhmmmm. They present Best R&B Moonman to Alicia Keys for the video Karma, what comes around, goes around, indeed.

Next, Jessica Alba and Duane "Big Daddy" somebody --regional masturbation ensues and I hurl my artichoke dip (recipe), good times. Anyhoo, they welcome Shakira, I don't get her, but then again I'm a chubby white chick that uses Twinkies (tm) to cleanse my palate, yum. My stomach only acts like hers if I eat two day old Chinese food before I cleanse the palate.

R. Kelly is Rick James, Bitch. Breaking News: Dave Chappelle decides never to return to show business again. ;)

Pretty Boy Usher makes his entrance and presents Best Dance Video and the wiener is: "Lose It" Missy Elliot and Ciara. Missy thanks God. God says, mmmkay.

Mr. Video himself, Eric Roberts, Julia's brother, welcomes R. Kelly, (he-who-humps-the-underage and will never live it down, so sorry, truly, kinda.). He sings "Trapped In The Closet" and all I want to do is change the channel, so I do.

[Hurricane still appears to be a hurricane, hours of speculation to come, the Weather Channel finds a fat dude with New Orlinz accent, can't understand a word except...time to die...grrrreeeat.]

R. Kelly's fucking performance sucks dog meat, okay, we get it, your fucking insane. [jams sharp object into ear canal]

Diddy returns and explains name change: Born Sean Combs (ladies like his ass), then he was Puffy and his ass is too, then Puff Daddy (too much trouble), before Diddy he went through an evolution...Kunta Combs, Seanye' West, Seandalizza Diddy Rice (Vote or Die phase) and then there was Diddy and it was good, until the next thing he pimps.

Enter the skeletal Hilary Duff (my nieces dig you Skelator, eat something for the love of fuck!) and some dude to present the ever wonderful The Killers, (drool) + (Happy Dance) = (black eyes). "It was only a kiss"....*quiver*..."I never", but I would. :D

Lil' Kim - a Lil' perjury goes a long way, oopsie, drink while you can lovey and Jeremy "Cupid" Piven (with hair) take the stage to present Best Rap Video and the winner is Ludacris, alrighty then, I don't know him from Dick, and I know Dick fairly well, in Braille, even.

[Hurricane will eat Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama; Newcaster: are you nervous? Fire Chief: Hell yeah.]

Another Diddy Surprise; the fat gangsta is still dead. Snoop comes out and sings with dead dude, I'm hoping Sting will come out, my hopes are denied.

OMFG! Johnny Knoxville *hump* the man gives me a girlie boner, yes, that's just nasty, but that's how he makes me feels....g-g-g-gah.....he's on stage with someone, whatever...Johnny presents the MTV2 award to: The Fallout Boys, um...who...I'm old...oh yeah, the Number One with a bullet song, got it...fantastic. Still, it's pop-punk you'd think I'd know them, but, then again, I do know them, because they sound like every other fucking pop-punk out there, show us your dicks dearies, be punk, when your "punk" even pop-punk for that matter, you gotta live it, breathe it, then shit it out, and smear it on your face while your singing, otherwise your American Top 40 fodder. I've spoken my peace, I'm done.

Fat Joe on the stage now and presents the unprecedented; Jong Oh Ma? Latina Hip-Hop, it's like I'm ordering food at the food court in my mall, shit. Daddy Yankee? Wtf? I'll have a fucking Big Mac with fries, okay? Fat Joe presents Best Hip Hop, the wiener: Missy Elliot and Ciara, again, chicks rule.

Farrel (?) I'm white and 41, forgive me....anyways, he presents the next band Cold Play and somewhere Gwenyth's nipples get hard and Chuck Klosterman just punched an unsuspecting soul.

"Coldplay songs deliver an amorphous, irrefutable interpretation of how being in love is supposed to feel, and people find themselves wanting that feeling for real. They want men to adore them like Lloyd Dobler would, and they want women to think like Aimme Mann, and they expect all their arguments to sound like Sam Malone and Diane Chambers. They think everything will work out perfectly in the end (just like it did for Helen Feilding's Bridget Jones and Nick Hornby's Rob Fleming), and the don't stop believing, because Journey's Steve Perry insists we should never do that." -Sex, Drugs & Cocoa Puffs

Fuck Coldplay.

The very pretty Ricky Martin and the very souful Joss Stone present Best Pop Video and the big pop wiener is: Sweet Jesus ate some Texas barbecue and shit out Kelly Clarkson and it was good.

Alicia Keys and John Lunge-nut(?) present the next act Kayne West and Jamie Foxx, wth? They spin around on a record, like my Dawn doll did in the 70's, groovy.

[Hurricane Update Live from the Super Dome (the shelter of last resort, think Titanic; No lifeboat for you!) "It's scary." damn straight.]

Snoop Dogg presents Danny Cook a comedian, I don't laugh, not even on the inside, I fart instead, just for the relief. He & Snoop presents Best New Artist: The Killers, justice, full on fucking justice, I think I just peed my pants or something...

Snoop & Gwen win "best dressed" and are crowned King & Queen of the prom.

Eva Longoria, (hold on to your day job, it's all you got sister.), the petite flash-in-the-pan, more famous for who she humps than her acting, presents Maria Carey, minus the faux abs. Damnit! I've been trying to mimic those fabulous faux ripples for months now. Okay, who am I kidding, I sit down and I kind of get the same effect, a little more exaggerated mind you, but still, I'm ripped or my skin did, whatever.

Lil' John (yeeeeeeeah) & Paulina Rubio present (wut?) The Breakthrough Video Award and the winner: Some ape shit, dunno.

Black Eyed Pea's present (minus Fergie's pissy pant, sorry hun, the show must go on, but pee before you go on stage, thanks.) 50 Cent in leather pants that ride his hips like a two dolla ho, and God only knows I like a crotch that goes to the knees, Hip-Hop Fashion, I don't get it. I want slap the girls that dress like Binge Drinkin' Barbie(tm) working a bar @ 2 a.m. and the Guys, one day, your gonna trip over your pant crotch, probably when someone spackles that ass-crack. But, hey you look terrific. Oh my, 50 curses naughty bits and gets beeped, don't it make you want to worship false idols, somebody get me goat.

Diddy presents My Chemical Romance, pop-punk again, I've heard it before, I bought that same noise ten years ago (yes, I'm a bitch). The only chemical romance I've known involved sniffing a Sharpie(tm), while painting my toenails and followed it with a Hershey Bar, that's love, baby.

Bow Wow and Paris Hilton *twitch* come to present the Viewers Choice Award: Green Day's American Idiot. *happy dance*

[Hurricane Update: "You can't win this", no shit Sherlock, that CNN anchor wins the Geraldo Award for jizzwit commentary, congratulations!]

Jamie Foxx presents Destiny's Child their outfits don't match, my world crumbles. Jamie and ladies present the Video Of The Year to the fanfuckingtastical GREEN DAY, congratulations fellas *flashes tits* -- *flick bic* -- my cat just horked a hairball on me, this gig is done. Well, except for Kelly Clarkson closing out the show, whodathunkit, she didn't. We like you Kelly, we really do. 4 1/2 hours, a numb ass, my night is complete.

Summer television ratings are in the toilet:

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Broadcast television is suffering its steepest year-to-year decline in summer viewing since 1997, according to an analysis of Nielsen Media Research data issued Wednesday.

Why the Networks Suck: Reality BITES.

Rock Star: INXS made me want to dig up Michael Hutchence's rotting corpse and prop his sorry dead ass up in front of the surviving INXS members, if only to remind them that you can't replace the irreplaceable, now that's rock n' roll. The contenders on the show just don't get it, ask Gary Cherone, formly of Van Halen, you can't replace the greatest replacement of all Sammy Hagar, he survived because he just rocks and he replaced the pompous dinglefuck, with a much smaller wiki no less, David Lee Roth who was, at one time rumored, to replace the irreplaceable Howard Stern, who incidentally, has a rather large wiki. The INXS contenders are nothing more than the back up bitch of replacements and that is, if anything, as sad as the state of the network work your show resides on. C'mon CBS, the show should have been called CSI: Rock Star, there is no reason that I could fathom that you should continue this show in the future, leave the homogenized rock to American Idol.

I Want To Be A Hilton, actually no, I do not want to be a Hilton. I don't want a Hilton's ass to cross my computer screen again and I sure as fuck don't want to watch a Hilton on television. All I want from a Hilton is their money.

The only reality series I watch with any regularity is the mother of all reality series Mtv's The Real World and that depends solely on the cast for the season. This particular season has been entertaining at the cost of the uber-gorgeous real-worlder Danny. From his drunken testosterone filled whomping which resulted in getting his skull cracked and inevitably scarring that pretty face to the shocking death of his mother has been keeping me coming back. Not to mention his budding relationship with fellow real-worlder and equally gorgeous Melani, it's a good season for the Real World, it might not be Survivor, but I'd rather watch pretty people suffer and backstab each other than "real" people fight for food.

The best of television right now, in my opinion would be Arrested Developement it's Soap for a new era; constantly smart and hilarious and fortunately the network execs at FOX were smart enough to pull their head from their asses long enough to renew the show for another year. TNT's The Closer, FX's Rescue Me and Nip/Tuck are both brilliant, now if I could only remember what day they're on and there in is their problem. These shows, with the right strategy will hopefully live long lives. A note to t.v. execs, give us a ring, I can help, but whatever you do, DO NOT give the television viewers anymore Reality television, unless it involves a scratch n' sniff function.

What have you been watching and why? I'm willing to try new things that don't start with Vh1's I Love the ______'s.

Next week marks the beginning of the 9th month of the calendar year, where did the time go? Here, there, and everywhere, I suppose. Yes, the slumber was grand, so magnificent, so riddle with dreams. One of the last dreams this morning took place at work, standing near a register, I turned to talk to an employee and then the earth shook, not a little rattle mind you, but a massive rumble-tosser. When I expected it to end it became even more violent, I knew this wasn't another North West window breaker, it most certainly would be the quake that dipped the West Coast into the Pacific. The rest of the dream is vague, I know I tried to use my cell phone to no avail, I went oustside and it was nothing but frenzy, I chose to wake up. That's the good thing about dreams, your subconscious allows you to wake at any given time (whew).

My dreams have been foreboding wonderland at times, I dreamt that my sister would have a boy years and two girls prior to the fact. I dreamt of JFK Jr.'s death a year and almost to the day it actually happened. There are more, countless other unconscious realities that have come to pass. Thin slicing or move over Sylvia Brown, I don't know, but what I do know is that our minds are freaky things and I choose to never underestimate the power of the subconscious. In any case, an earthquake dream is an indication of my unknown future, the bookstore closing this winter, my potential move away from the home I've known longer than any other in my life, OR there's gonna be a motherfucker of an earthquake in the future, I can't say when, there is no timeline for precognitive musings. Whatever, I'm awake now, today is today, the only thing shaking for now is my ass when I walk.

Blog panels are the new Town Meetings, so why wouldn't another million or so people want to pay for a Blog Seminar? Learning valuable tools to garner a market share of whatever you wish. Now, you could spend $50 dollars to attend a seminar or you could take my advice as based on the discussion list at the aforementioned blog seminar. It's a Win/Win with a ramping up you'll never forget:

Who Should Blog? Who Should not --- Who really cares, the point of blogs is personal expression and if you want to tell the world about your ass herpes or how everything is your parents fault and that's why you tattooed Tommy Lee's dick above your ass crack, well golly, that's your business, your readership is reading your blog because they dig that shit, ce le vie.

What to Blog About - Blog Writing Tips If your a whore, blog away. If your a geek, blog away, if your a back seat pundit - blog like your shit don't stink - but keep it real folks: you did except cash for that tryst with the Senator's aid, you did create a cyber love toy that calls you stud when you tickle and byte it and yes, try as you might, your shit doth stink so be prepared for the repercussions good or bad. Also, keep in mind that whatever you choose to blog about, proper grammar and punctuation are a must or die a slow cyber death.

How to Build a Blog Audience Tit's, pussy, long dong silver, ass-fucking and Courtney Love. Add a dash of God, a smattering of Bush, a dose of Literary snarkability and some yummy hate. Or, comment on other blogs, link to other blogs, there isn't a blog whore out there who doesn't know who links to them. Self promotion = self preservation. Also, an article I read recently in Business Week suggested having a "Scandal" to increase "hits" or "page visits". I myself don't do drama and take a pass on scandalous behavior, I've no time for it, it interferes with what sanity I have left, so I muddle about as an Adorable little Rodent in the Blogosphere Ecosystem.

Advertising on Blogs: A great opportunity or a waste of money? Exactly how much of your soul are you willing to part with? The choice is yours.

Why Fortune 500 Companies Are Betting Big on Blogging - because they dig jumping on a well established bandwagon tested and created by others so they don't have to do the work and reap millions, while you collect $13 dollars in Amazon Gift Certificates, right on.

Establishing a Corporate Blogging Strategy and Policy No posts on ass-fucking, sell more stuff, to more people - with stuff.

Knowing what's being said about your company A mission statement in 500 blog posts, I can do that job for you, lets talk.

How to Monitor Blogs Stare at them long enough and they'll monitor you.

Any other tips are welcome in the comments. Thanks and have a loverly day.

Maybe it's the cooler evenings, I don't know, but this sleeping beauty is loving the slumber lately, wow. I forgot to set my alarm clock, so I woke up rather late and I probably shouldn't be wasting time by blogging anything, but here I am, blogging, when I should be converting sleeptime Cupie into daytime Cupie. It's not a hard task really, I don't primp for hours to create something that I'm not. I poop, (tmi?) shower, drink coffee, slap on a bit of make-up, lipstick, blush, mascara, dress, find a pair of Chuck Taylor's to match the outfit, take the unruly mass of hair (I need a haircut, yesterday) lump it into a hairclip, lecture the cats on what good kitty's do while the master is away, grab my books and bag and I'm out the door. Low maintenance or lazy, that is the question!

Here's some "intelligent design" I thought you dig, heh. Have a loverly day and all that other brilliant bullshit. Cupie.........out.

In my world Intelligent design is underwear that won't ride my butt crack, but in the "now" world it's a hot and heavy topical and valid discussion. I saw the last few minutes of an Intelligent Design discussion on Larry King and thankfully he had Deepak Chopra on as a guest to counter the bullshit that was flinging. Mr. Chopra has carried this discussion on to his Intent Blog. Good, thought provoking stuff.

How can whole systems appear all at once? The leap from reptile to bird is
proven by the fossil record. Yet this apparent step in evolution has many
simultaneous parts. It would seem that Nature, to our embarrassment, simply
struck upon a good idea, not a simple mutation. If you look at how a bird is
constructed, with hollow bones, toes elongated into wing bones, feet adapted to
clutching branches instead of running, etc., none of the mutations by themselves
give an advantage to survival, but taken altogether, they are a brilliant
creative leap. Nature takes such leaps all the time, and our attempt to reduce
them to bits of a jigsaw puzzle that just happened to fall into place to form a
beautifully designed picture seems faulty on the face of it. Why do we insist
that we are allowed to have brilliant ideas while Nature isn't?

Hunter S. Thompson of course.

"Thompson indulged in numerous hallucinogenic fantasies over the years, but this weekend, one of them morphed into reality: his ashes were blasted into the sky over his farm here, carried by red, blue and silver fireworks in front of a 153-foot monument that Mr. Thompson, the writer and avatar of "gonzo" journalism, designed himself almost 30 years ago."

What a brilliant idea, if your gonna do it (cremation), that's the way to go. Don't toss my ashes out to sea, don't keep them on the mantle, make them into fireworks, toss a few back and remember what a blast I was. That's not to say I'm a blast a minute, I'm quite fond of napping and love sleep. Like last night for instance, I slept like death, a good solid sleep, with many odd dreams of blonde men waiting on me, that was nice. I wanted to linger in bed as long as possible, sleep just 15 more minutes and I did and it was good. Now, due to my selfish need of slumber I've little time to spew about anything of significance and must proceed with my work day and thoughts of blonde men adoring my every move, waiting on me hand & foot, I pity my employees today; I'll imagine they are one of the many gorgeous men in my dreams and I'll delegate back massages and foot rubs, and then when I hunger something other than them I'll shout, "Fetch Me Food Wench!!". Apparently, I will also be a pirate and I've just called my fantasy man a wench, so the guys in my dream must have been gay, whatever. For the record, I want my ashes to be made into fireworks. Oh yeah, and the price of tea in China, I know nothing about. Have a Super Fanfuckingtastic Day!
[via Talk Left]

Remember kids, Spay and neuter your animals, for the love of GOD!

PETA has recruited Ron Jeremy for its latest campaign, which, surprisingly, has nothing to do with that animal-fucking farm in Washington state.
It's actually promoting "spay and neuter" week, but we wonder if the campaign might actually be a stealth entry in their series of vegetarianism ads. One look at it and we did lose our taste for meat.-Wonkette

Not only will we spay and neuter our animals, but we're packing our back and going hunting for Ron Jeremy and then we're gonna spay and neuter him, with a hose, ewwwww....ew. Big dick or not, he's just..ew, "ock"...focus on the pretty blonde boys...*focus*..."ock". This will not ruin our day, this will not ruin our day......*shudder-convulsion-shudder*....

On this day in 1893, Dorothy Parker was born in New York City, to Henry and Eliza Rothschild ("My God, no dear! We'd never even heard of those Rothschilds"). Her birth was two months premature, allowing her to say that it was the last time she was early for anything; her early writing was a "following in the exquisite footsteps of Edna St. Vincent Millay, unhappily in my own horrible sneakers."

:)

"We reckon that Fucking has been around a lot longer than 800 years, otherwise there wouldn't have been any Fucks to lend their name to the village in the first place, would there?"

Oh yeah, Fucking has been around for ages, without consent even. Personally, I find Fucking quite humorous. "In 2004, the residents voted on changing the name (owing to the stolen signs and embarrassment over the name), but decided against doing so." Fucking eh, try, there is no try, do or fucking deal with it. But they'd rather be Fucks, so be it. Fucking great post, if I don't fucking say so myself.

Btw, don't bother right clicking on the fucking blog, you get this:
Fuck.


[found via blogexplosion]

Political Post Of The Week

If someone asks in future years, when the Conservative movement started to die, well, this would be the moment. When politics trumped human decency.

Hate is running rampant on the web, it's here, there and everyfuckingwhere, not pretty people, get your shit together, hate begets hate, and fuck if I don't hate that. How about hug a blogger day, or say, a Cuddle party for pundits? Yes? (((Pundits)))

Book Post Of The Week

"Well, fuck me gently with a spike-heeled Manolo"

Don't mind if I do, but first we need to discuss your anger issues with Chick Lit, not that angry shoe sex isn't a hoot, it's just that I don't think Chick Lit was put on the is earth to digust literati, perhaps I'm wrong, but it is interesting how it does agitate the Lit-snobs, which I find entirely too amusing. Chick Lit is published because there's a market for it, you know, like there's a market for low riding hip huggin jeans; just because they exist doesn't mean you have to buy them and join the Ass-Crack Generation, now do ya?

Bonus Book Links Of The Week

Book Vending Machines, groovy.

Reshelving George Orwell's 1984 in the current events or social science section of your favorite bookstore? Preposterous! Or not:

In October 1983, Roberts said that he favored the creation of a national identity card to prove American citizenship, even though the White House counsel's office was officially opposed to the idea.

Reshelving it is.

Random Acts Of Delusions of Grandeur

What Is Scientology? The Answer is here.

flickr folly


Make a Magazine cover here.

Damn Bill Clinton for not stopping Omarosa...er Osama Bin Laden, getting your dingle suckled and reinventing the humidor is the very reason 9/11 happened, because until then, the Muslim world thought Americans were a swell lot of folks and jihad was just a ja-oke.

Damn Cindy Sheehan and her "bandwagon" of leftie asshats, it's her fault that Bush and his bandwagon of rightie moonbats lied about why we had to take down Saddam, which is to say, we couldn't find Bin Laden, eh, screw Bin Laden (with a fork) Saddam dissed daddy.

Damn the ACLU and their "religion=Terrorism", it's their fault zealot's bomb and burn down women's clinic's. And what of the Crusades?
Damn our Civil liberties, because of them we practice free will, damn it all to hell!

Protest be damned, Cindy's family does come first, much to The Queen Of The Damned's detriment. Why do I suspect that the stroke Ms. Sheehan's mother had is all that damn Michael Moore's fault.

Damnit, "There taking the Hobbit's to Isengard", I hate when that happens.

Shock & uh...Jude Law's damn penis.

Damn if I didn't wake up with a song in my head, "Black Betty" bam-a-lam. "This song was orginally a "chant" used by railroad crews in the early 1900's to align tracks and ties. That is prob'ly where "Leadbelly" got it. Some other ones have shown up as old jump rope chants.". Damnit.

Jon Stewart on working vacations and Cindy Sheehan. [via]

Interpreter of Maladies
"The Backstreet Boy of public broadcasting" Mr. Zakaria is the man meat poster boy of pundits, who knew? Not that I wouldn't throw my golden thong of lust (more on that later) up on his stage.

Fareed Zakaria's career reads like some crazy America fantasy: Neoconservative policy wonk becomes darling of the ultra-liberal Daily Show. Political columnist and editor of Newsweek International is dubbed an "intellectual heartthrob" by Jon Stewart. Upper-class Indian academic raised in mostly secular household becomes America's favorite explainer of the Muslim world, regularly appearing on Charlie Rose, This Week With George Stephanopoulos, and now on his own weekly PBS news series, Foreign Exchange With Fareed Zakaria (airing Saturdays at 10 a.m. on WNET).

------------------------------------>:->
We sizzle on the East Coast, the West Coast appreciates me (a bit) and tell me, where the fuck is the love from Middle America? Snarf! Google has a new Vistor Map thingy:

----------------------------------->^o^<
Blogger is sick and damn tired of grammatical and spelling errors, so they made a plug-in for Word. My sister had this idea months ago, brilliant minds think alike. And yes, I downloaded it, so you can stop throwing things at your monitor when you read my posts. :)
-----------------------------------=|:o}
Michelle vs. Michelle Found in the comments"

Don't forget me! I'm the blonde, manly one! Over here!

posted by: Ann Coulter at August 15, 2005 08:57 PM

------------------------------------8==D
What's Up Doc? Requiem For A Penis Carrot Up next: Requiem for A Krispy Kremed Vagina.

All Righty! My ass is numb, I've got baseball to attend and various other compulsions to conquer, have a dandy day.

Researchers have finally found evidence for what good Catholic boys have known all along – erotic images make you go blind. The effect is temporary and lasts just a moment, but the research has added to road-safety campaigners’ calls to ban sexy billboard-advertising near busy roads, in the hope of preventing accidents.

Great. Wow, that explains a lot, however, my concern for the moment is the "hairy palms" conundrum, explain that.

Michelle Malkin is doing everything in her power to take down Cindy Sheehan, it's almost as if she's betting her career on it. In an effort to make the President more human (although, we all know he's part of a collective called the right-wing conspiracy borg, duh.) she posts a recent Newsweek article showing that the President has a heart:

Aug. 22, 2005 issue - The grieving room was arranged like a doctor's office. The families and loved ones of 33 soldiers killed in Iraq or Afghanistan were summoned to a large waiting area at Fort Bragg, N.C. For three hours, they were rotated through five private rooms, where they met with President George W. Bush, accompanied by two Secret Service men and a photographer. Because the walls were thin, the families awaiting their turn could hear the crying inside.

Well the Grinch has a heart too Michelle, but he caused Holy Hell first like any good passive/aggressive. We all appreciate the photo-ops with mourning families, it brings us together, rips at the heart and we think for five minutes the President is actually human. You could post a million of these stories, and it still won't deter Ms. Sheehan and her "bandwagon" still has "wheels" and will continue to do so until the President sees her and shuts this protest down once and for all. By not meeting with Ms. Sheehan, Bush fuels the fire, unlike the majority of Americans that HAVE to drive to work daily, The President can afford the fuel with the Saudi Family in his pocket and that's a pretty big family, so big I find it hard to believe that Ms. Malkin can still fit in that pocket too. Hobbies are good n' all Ms. Malkin, but your starting to obsess publicly now, making you no different than those on Ms. Sheehan's bandwagon.

1. What was the first blog you ever saw/found? I was busily loading the shit out of my geocities webpage, when 3 years ago, I read a Newsweek article on blogging, my world changed. I thought to myself, "whoa, wait, Rose has a blog thingy Infinitely Pie! Go N' Grow Cupie!" and went to it, examined it and decided I wanted the same type of layout, something I could easily add content to and went with "the" Blogger (although I hate the new image upload shit, 'twas better back in the Pro Blogger days, I'll pay, I'll pay,....omfg, fix it.) mmkay....

2. How did you find it? Um, her MSN profile and that would be none of your business, thank you very munch.

3. What were the next few blogs you saw/found? One of the featured blogs on Bloggers "hot blogs list" was Biz Stone's (self proclaimed genius and I'm counting on the genius to enable Blogger to upload images in actual size again, we don't need no stinkin' CSS, YO -- You Can doooooo eeet!!) and when I found out he had a book all aboot the in's and out's of blogging I promptly bought it and learned more than I could imagine. On Biz's blogroll, at the time (lo, those many years ago), he had a link to Being Jennifer Garrett; Jen is a writer, constantly self assessing herself and loves sports, she's funny as fuck, as funny as fuck can be (think about it, contorted face and Kleenex (tm) abounds) I've had her on my blogroll ever since and to be perfectly honest I've modeled my writings after her's somewhat, that in being, I try to be as honest as I can when I write AND I try very hard to be grammatically correct when doing so, as not to disappoint. Also, I must mention Evan Williams, one of Blogger's creators, I've linked to Evhead from the beginning, he's a bit of a tech head and that shit bores me to no end, but I've learned a lot from all three of them. Btw, Blogger hired Biz; Blogger is now owned by Google (I have the sweatshirt to prove it), Ev left Blogger and Google and is now all ODEO, (podcast till ya puke) and Jen periodically contributes articles to Blogger, with that, I guess thanks are in order, so, thanks a million guys and grrrrrl. ;)

4. How many blogs do you read per day? I read these blogs daily; Jen Garrett's (mediocrity at it's best), Bookslut (Jessa and her sidekick Tonto..er Michael, make the literary world seem almost real), Wonkette (snarky political redhead, anal-love-thrusts-not-required), and TMFTML (drunkenliterarybastage) it's a habit, I love them! Regular reads would be Ratboy's Anvil, American Regression, Shakespeare Sister (great minds think alike, at times ;). ), By Beauty Damned, Atrios, The Cosair, Margaret Cho (*cheers, luv*), Vh1's Best Week Ever, Pie, Stereogum, Side Salad, Sister's Talk, Irate Weirdos, and Old Hag.

5. Have you met a blogger in real life? Who? (You don't have to list them all if youÃ?‚’re a blog whore.) Pie & Rob, married and friends prior to the bloggy whirrled.

6. Which very far-away bloggers do you think you would like to meet if you lived in the same city?
Jen G., of course, beer, baseball and a Ben Affleck kidnap attempt, sounds like fun, if not illegal, yum. Ana Marie Cox, The Antic Muse, The Wonkette, I'll buy the first 3 rounds, (Seattle bound? I'll be there, plus, I'll pimp the book like Sugarbear on crack). Melissa from Shakespear's Sister, someone to rage with; I'd be into meeting Jeff and his Salad family, okay, I just want to pet the puppy (jk, kinda.) ;) I'd love to meet cul because somehow, someway, although I don't know him from Dick and there's a hardly a dick I don't know, we connect. Maria in New York, because I already feel like I know her. Gary, Margaret, etc.... Honestly, I'd meet them all, I wouldn't link them otherwise.
7. Who is the most introspective blogger? Cul (read this link, I demand it!) and Maria.

8. Who cracks you up? Jen, Jeff, Ana Marie, Dave Barry.

9. Who is hot? (Or who do you think sounds hot if there is no picture?) Maria, just check out her picture, sweet MarryMudderOFGawd! Neil Pollack, I've had a long and serious blog crush on this man, I met him last year (dragging the gorgeous Oly Girl with as to add an exempt attraction of sorts, "look at my cute niece and love ME, beeyotch!") and babbled like a blabbering sycophant-crack-whore and then I just read his damn book, finally. (Btw, your fucking brilliant, as if you didn't know it.) Ana Marie (who wouldn't wanna party with Jenna? Karen Hughes is all over it, with a double "d" agitator and prayer book for insurance.).

10. Which blog is the latest on your link list? Or who did you just discover? Large Vibrating Egg, Jimmy, the erstwhile filler-inner for the Old Hag, he just rocks and rolls the literary links without being a condescending douchebag, this is a good thing.

11. Who needs to update more often? Neil, Gary, Maria and Margaret.

12. Do you have a favorite entry of your own? Many, because I like me! Right now, at least. ;)

13. What's your favorite song on the radio right now? (OK, that's not about blogging, but this is my meme.) What this has to do with blogs, I cannot say, but I will say I love The Killers Mr. Brightside, I saw them with my little Oly Girl and her totally cool brother and my nephew Sean and it was magic, despite the drama, and that's what Rock n' Roll is all about, magic. Peace to you all, click the links, you won't be disappointed and if you are, a moneyback guarantee is something we all dream of.

Update: Dizzy Girl is a daily read as well, sure, Gennie's a conservative, but its not the party affiliation, it's the person and any southern belle willing to rip of the "evil Wal Mart" for better peaches is an upstanding human in my book. Also, Caysie at All I'm saying, love HER!

Folly or Fodder, you decide.


The Gorey Spoilery Alphabetic Guide to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Very cool, very enterprising, and very much a spoiler if you haven't read the book yet.

And finally, one last diddy before I'm off to the air conditioned confines of my store, I give you: If Bloggers Had Been Around Throughout History, you'll laugh, you'll cry and then you'll never blog again...NOT. ;) Have a Lovely Day!

Ted Nugent, the master of meat, recently commented on a local radio show that he thought Green Day was one of the best bands out there, expect for their whiney politics. Whiney or not, Billie Joe's lyric are heartfelt, at times bittersweet and other times raunchy. You may choose to disagree with their politics but even a staunch conservative like Nugent knows a good thing when he hears it.

I have an older employee whose conservative values were instilled by her long dead parents although she does the complete opposite of everything these conservative values represent, hypocrisy at it's best. She constantly bitches about the liberal agenda, in the meantime her house is being fitted with a new furnace, new windows and a refrigerator courtesy of the very same liberal agenda she hates. Hate the agenda people, but you benefit from it every damn day.

We learn through osmosis when we least expect it and when the liberal agenda is being sung by some punks from the Bay Area it reaches far beyond the initial intended audience and eventually we learn from it. Green Day has given Crooks & Liars permission to host their new video for "Wake Me Up When September Ends":

"This timely and politically charged filmic vignette documents Green Day's view of the effects on young soldiers and loved ones left behind. The seven minute epic video causes a moment's pause to reflect upon and understand the impact of what you just watched."

Enjoy the whining and learn because eventually you will benefit from it.
[via Talk Left]

Maureen Dowd is back on her beat and we are as thankful as the pearls that circle her swan-like neck, the very neck that I'm quite certain the "Bushies" would like to ring:

It's amazing that the White House does not have the elementary shrewdness to have Mr. Bush simply walk down the driveway and hear the woman out, or invite her in for a cup of tea. But W., who has spent nearly 20 percent of his presidency at his ranch, is burrowed into his five-week vacation and two-hour daily workouts. He may be in great shape, but Iraq sure isn't.

Walking down the driveway would be too damn easy for the President. He could stop this in minutes, but instead he just readjusts his balls and proudly (read: cockily, if that's a word...She sells sea shells cockily?)responds with: "I sympathize, but we can't pull out" said like one dog humping another. So, why is it you can't tell that to Ms. Sheehan's face? Sit down with her, have some tea as Ms. Dowd would say, show a little sympathy and continue doing whatever it is you feel like doing, by now, we American's know you could give a rip about what we think and gosh W, we expect nothing less.

Update: Cindy has posted over at the Huffington Post.

November 2, 2004 was not George Bush's accountability moment: today is. We are finished allowing him to get away with deceiving the American public and abusing his power.

We are mad as hell and we're not taking it anymore.

1. Persephone (Greek) or Proserpina (Roman)
Many considered this the obvious favourite for naming the new planet, since Roman mythology has it that Pluto (or Hades, in Greek mythology) kidnapped Persephone, and made her his wife. So distraught was Persephone’s mother that her grief created winter. Very apt, since planets do not, as yet, get any colder than our most distant new addition. The only, but significant, problem with this name is that is already
taken. As Brown himself points out: “Sadly, the name was used in 1895 as a name
for the 399th known asteroid."

2. Peace (or its Latin root, Pax)
In a war-torn world, and with terrorism rife, many of you want to use the new planet
to send a message. Patricia Schiavone, of Montevideo, Uruguay summed it up: “I'd
call it Pax because we all feel peace to be very far away, yet it reflects what
most people were wishing for when this new planet was discovered."

3. Galileo
Often referred to as the “father of modern astronomy” and credited with
construction of the first astronomical telescope, Galileo was the leading
suggestion for naming the new planet after a real person. Guillermo Dotto in
Buenos Aires, Argentina, summed up voters' feelings: “I would name it after
Galileo, the genius who provided the means to search outer space.”
Other votes for real people included Isaac Newton, Brahms, Isaac Asimov, Nelson
Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, Carl Sagan, Euclid, Stephen Hawking,
Mother Theresa, Copernicus, Aristotle and Arthur C Clarke.

I don't know, I thought Cupie would be a cool name.
"Honey, look, Cupie's shining bright tonight!"
"Um, hon, that's a plane."
"Yeah, but she's shining bright tonight!"
Okay, so maybe not.

No, Courtney isn't showing off a botched female circumcision, she's just being Courtney; Rocker, Mother and off her fucking rocker! Ms. Love does Pam Anderson's um......Comedy Central Roast! From demure to destroyed in less than two hours, damn she's good.

Hysterical post and pictures here.

[via]

Female circumcision surfaces in Iraq
"According to the Shafii school, which we Kurds belong to, circumcision is obligatory for both men and women. The Hanbali say it is obligatory only for men."

Listen people and cultures of the world; I'm all for tolerating and understanding the distinct differences of our beliefs in religion and politics, but, dare I say that I don't understand this mutilation of sexual organs you people are into. Sorry, you cut it, you damage the goods. That's not to say I don't appreciate a perfectly coifed and turtle-neck free penis, I mean, who doesn't? Pretty peckers aside, the above article refers to female mutilation, girlie circumcision, marking the glory hole, trimming the fat from the meat curtain, ok, I'll stop now. Slicing up the naughty bits won't make you pure, whatever your belief, honestly, I have nothing to gain from lying about this. Cutting the winky is just cruel, slashing the love button beyond recognition is down right torture; so do mankind a favor and stop with the slice O' matic on the private parts, it's full on freakin' ignorant and such a waste of flesh. Sure, Hannibal Lector might be down with that, but he's a fictional psychotic, the people practicing this are insane and no offense, but jew too, the human body is not, I repeat, is NOT a fucking delicatessen! And keep this in mind as well; Masturbating will not blind you, but if you do it right, you just might see God. Amen.
[via]

Gosh, I beg to differ, but if Freedom isn't all about embracing perversion, we wouldn't have the adminstration, currenty residing in the White House, telling us to bend over, take it like a man, this won't hurt a bit and leaving their political Jesus Juice on the belly of our society.

Roberts' First Republican Opposition

A Virgina based right wing group has publicly retracted it's support of John Roberts' Supreme Court nomination. The reason? According to Eugene Delgaudio, the president of the group,
"Freedom' is not embracing perversion."
Looks like the "Justice Sunday" crowd is coming home to roost. Mr. Rove, aren't you glad you chose to fill your big tent with bigots?

Are you experienced?

He claimed he was discharged after 13 months after breaking his ankle in a parachuting drill, but military records showed he was discharged for "homosexual tendencies."

According to the records, he told the base psychiatrist he had sexual fantasies about his bunkmates, grew addicted to masturbating and was in love with a member of his squad, Cross writes.

Honestly, I would have done and said the same things to get out of that war. Jimi Hendrix was a freakin' genius and I'm glad he did what he did, because he left a legacy of music so spectacular it helped to shape the face of a generation.

More can be read in Charles Cross' new book Room Full Of Mirrors. Mr. Cross is quite insistent on covering all his bases when it comes to the facts, when he was gathering information for his Cobain bio, he left countless messages on my answering, anyone who knows me knows I don't check that thing but once a month and yet he finally tracked me down at work, the relentless bugger. Anyhoo, there is no doubt in my mind that Room Full Of Mirrors will be the definitive Hendrix biography and I'm looking forward to reading it.

I wish I had known Jimi Hendrix, but alas I was a child, but a babe, when he rocked the world. I dig a dude who isn't afraid of himself, his sexuality or his desire to create from deep within his soul and share it with the world.

Five minutes is all I ask.

CRAWFORD, Tex., Aug. 7 - President Bush draws antiwar protesters just about wherever he goes, but few generate the kind of attention that Cindy Sheehan has since she drove down the winding road toward his ranch here this weekend and sought to tell him face to face that he must pull all Americans troops out of Iraq now.

Ms. Sheehan's son, Casey, was killed last year in Iraq, after which she became an antiwar activist. She says she and her family met with the president two months later at Fort Lewis in Washington State.

But when she was blocked by the police a few miles from Mr. Bush's 1,600-acre spread on Saturday, the 48-year-old Ms. Sheehan of Vacaville, Calif., was transformed into a news media phenomenon, the new face of opposition to the Iraq conflict at a moment when public opinion is in flux and the politics of the war have grown more complicated for the president and the Republican Party.

Ms. Sheehan has vowed to camp out on the spot until Mr. Bush agrees to meet with her, even if it means spending all of August under a broiling sun by the dusty road. Early on Sunday afternoon, 25 hours after she was turned back as she approached Mr. Bush's ranch, Prairie Chapel, Ms. Sheehan stood red-faced from the heat at the makeshift campsite that she says will be her home until the president relents or leaves to go back to Washington. A reporter from The Associated Press had just finished interviewing her. CBS was taping a segment on her. She had already appeared on CNN, and was scheduled to appear live on ABC on Monday morning. Reporters from across the country were calling her cellphone.

Yes, Saddam was a prick that had to go down, but had you said that straight up all this shit wouldn't be happening. Give the woman a few minutes of your time, she gave her son. Yeah, yeah, you couldn't possibly give five minutes to every widow or parent that has lost a loved one in this war against terror, your time is precious, defending your architect, pushing your compassionate conservatism and all, but dude, you straight up lied about shit and it's time to pay the piper, if not now, then later. Once you try to enter the pearly gates and God says "Um...dude, you should have been straight up, NO SOUP For YOU!" you will have received what you have given, nothing. It will happen, count on it, a messenger from above told me this, I can't disclose my sources, but this messenger shined like a thousand sons lost.

[via]

Seattle's own Dan Savage is filling in for Andrew Sullivan and what bits of wisdom does this former drag queen(?) and current "Savage Love" columnist have to share?

I promised Andrew no smut, no lower-case santorum, no discussions of the latest sex toys or scandals. I reserve the right, however, to renege on that agreement if a sex scandal as irresistible as the case of the ma