< Spew It Forward!: 10.05


Monday, October 31, 2005
Scary Things For a Scary Day

Happy Halloween Folks! Nothing like a day where strangers can legally give candy to small children and not be arrested. God Bless America. As for me, I'll be ignoring trick or treaters, I don't pass out candy from the bookstore, the cost is henious, the payback is none existent and besides, I'll be entirely to focused on remerchandising the store into a wintery wonderland, yes Halloween marks the beginning of the holiday rape on the consumer wallet, amen. Sure, Thanksgiving is in there somewhere, a day to stop shopping and fill your face with yummy stuff, a day of rest before the hounds are released, but that Thanksgiving feast is just a small part of the two solid months of holiday cheer and mayhem. I'm so excited I could puke, hork a nug of 'oliday cheer, cover my body in tinsle, stick a fork in me, I'm done. Ah, but it has just begun, hasn't it? No shit Sherlock. Imagine for a moment that Sherlock Holmes couldn't shit, ever. Imagine the horror! Thanks.



Scary Blog Post Of The Day:

A WORKING GIRL CAN'T WIN , personally I love Maureen Dowd, but then again I'm easily distracted most by sparkly objects:
"My mother gave me a little cushion to fall back on, in case some swain decided that my bakery wasn't worth buying.”

"You own a bakery?"I asked.

"It's a metaphor, Mr. Marlowe. Do keep up. One of mother's many, and one of the many mentions of mother I'll be making during this case. It's of a piece with one of my favorite poems about modern mores:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who'd moisturize his face and then pluck it.
He said with a grin,
'Less you're pretty and thin
And willing to blow me, then fuck it.


"Charming,” I said. "Now back to the case. What's a modern girl to do? I'm going to need you to be a little more specific."

"Oh, don't worry. I can go on for pages."




A rash of SCOTUS:
"Today's drinking game? Every time you hear "unlike Harriet Miers," take a sip."
He's "The Man", this SCOTUS nom is a middle aged white man, I'm sure O'Conner is flattered as fuck, as flattering as fuck can be, actually, the face I'm making now says fuck all over it. :S


Enjoy hours of mindless entertainment playing Monster Match. Have a safe holiday people, don't do anything I wouldn't do (your options are endless....muahahaha!)
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Celebrity Ego Check

Top 10 celebrity egos according to Teen People magazine. But did they earned their egos?

10. Lindsay Lohan - Child star, boobs blossomed (roll that bitch in glitter and get her an FHM cover, pronto), rock star wanna-be, channeled Ann Coulter for a few months, scared little girls and pundits everywhere. A young woman that knows her power is very impressive, not impressive is to think we give a shit about her talent, it's nice n' all, but so is finally dumping a load after a row with constipation. Ego earned? Not yet, with genuine talent a little goes a long way, remember that Ms. Thang.

9. R. Kelly - That's ego? I thought it was an Amber Alert. Ego earned? No, dude, ego doesn't equal a hard on, even if your Tommy Lee.

8. Avril Lavigne - Stringy hair does not an ego make. Ego earned, Avril rhymes with Advil take two and call me in a decade, mmmkay?

7. Justin Timeberlake - Actual talent with big..ahem.."ego" satiates Cameron's womanly needs, although, it could be the dead sexy white man fro that does it. Ego earned? Yeah, but keep it in check, your mother scares us.

6. Jack White - Talent, takes chances, most likely still breast feeding; once victim is depleted of breast milk, Jack releases new album. Ego earned? Not earned as much as born with, keep the breast milk on tap son and keep on rocking.

5. Christina Aguilera - Again, actual talent, the skank-ho period had us questioning her, then she got all Beautiful, bought some breasts and has rechecked that ego, the less we see, the more we appreciate. Ego earned? Sure, but stay away from barbecue and embracing your inner white trash, your welcome.

4. Beyonce - That face, that ass, the voice, that ass, that J.Z., that heinous skank-ho clothes line with mother *shiver* keeps ego in check. Ego earned? Indeed, as long as Mariah Carey feels threatened by you, you're going strong.

3. Usher - Nice body, good voice, but his face looks like a caricature of himself, he's really goofy looking if you stare long enough. Ego earned, as long as women keep throwing themselves at his washboard belly and goofy face, sure.

2. Kanye West - Jesus walks with him, he gets all excited, trashes Bush, Jesus rethinks walkin' with a hater, backlash ensues, releases Gold Digger with Jamie Fox, Jesus starts walkin with Kayne again. Ego earned? Kind of, but keep that shit in check dude. Walk the talk, be the example and don't play the hater card, when you do, your no better than a Bush.

1. Paris Hilton - Ummm....Ego earned? No. No talent, eager beaver much to the delight of Greek men and opportunists everywhere. Ms. Hilton embodies everything superficial about America. Ego earned? Born with it, along with enough money to buy and sell me and my opinion on eBay, like the bitch gives a shit what anyone thinks, if she did, she'd have some taste, tact (nasty snatch alert) and talent.

Me and my ego have spoken. Have a loverly day.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Scooter's a naughty, naughty boy


"I'm coming for you, I can't be stopped"
"The law has caught you, now here's a last thought"
He turned to face them and his eye gleamed with light
"Merry Fitzmas to all, TIME TO FUCKIN' INDICT!"
[via
American Regression]

Here's how it works; you lie, you get the smack down, you play the crony card, the card cuts your skin, you out Valerie Plame, your inner-plame (secret) bursts into flames. It's fucking treasonous what those bastards have done and justice is shaking her raging ass in the face of the motherfuckers who dissed her dignity. Karma works, "do unto to others as others do unto you" is Godspeak for KARMA, it all comes back to you, every wrong doing, every evil thing done. So why tempt fate, ah yes, you're socially inept living large in the ego, morons.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Quickies

Sheryl Swoops, gay. Bravo! Kudos! Live True. [via jg]

Mier's says..buh bye. I say...Ciao, beeyotch.

Howard Stern spit in my inbox this morning.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
"I've swallowed 20 condoms full of truth and I'm smuggling them across the border" -Steven Colbert

The "T" is silen(t) The Colbert Report makes me happy, Colbert is as cuddly as a naked monkey masturbating, maybe that's the appeal, I don't know. What I do know is that it follows The Daily Show which makes me really happy, ass-tingling happy, chocolate yogurt in a spa with two bitches I don't know happy. If you haven't seen it yet, give it a try, it's like the The Daily Show, but amped up on Meth (cheap, available, and eventually will eat your brain, but what a ride.) Colbert's guests seem baffled as to why they're on the show; Fareed Zakaria looked stunned and confused, Lou Dobbs seemed impressed that he was zinged twice by Colbert with crazy, albeit reasonable, solutions to the 3 mil+ illegal alien situation, a third world section for America, hahahahaha, hrmmmmmm. Last night guest Greg Berenht of "He's Just Not That Into You" fame (the milking of a Sex In The City line) seemed put off by Colbert's humor telling a caller with a gay boyfriend to hang on to him and if she were any kind of woman at all, she could make her gay boyfriend very ungay. Berenht stated that a comment like that could do some serious damage to woman, Colbert smiled. Why watch the Colbert Report, because it's on after The Daily Show, it's edgier and it's bucket full of sass and satire to gulp down before you slumber.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Mr. Stewart goes to Washington

"Some blogs are written really well, some are written by people who were given a jar of Ritalin and allowed to write as long as they can."

"I believe in the 12 percent theory of goodness...that 12 percent of things are good and the rest is crap. Same for blogs: 12 percent are written really well and the rest is just maturbating by their keyboard...not that there's anything wrong with that
." --John Stewart

Pass me a tissue. [chases down Ritalin with Redbull, slurp] True that it might be, 12 percent of the blogosphere is "written really well" the other 88 percent are outsourced to Euro-Asian teenagers on Ritalin and a handful of angry Goths. Also, 12 percent of my ass is muscle, or so the doctor tells me, once, I shoved 12 percent of a my middle finger up the doctors nose; 12 percent of me was repulsed, the other 88 percent of me went to the store and bought a feedbag of chocolate. 12 percent of my brain blogged this very post, the other 88 percent of me is going to work.
Rosa Parks

She refused to sit at the back of the bus and helped change the world for the better. Some may disagree and I'd suggest you remove your head from your ignorant hateful ass, that is unless you dig eating your own shit. Trust your instincts, educate your mind, open your heart, know compassion and give it freely. Rosa did these things, she knew her ass could sit anywhere her ass wanted to sit. Those in power should have a picture of her in their office to remind them that one person can break down barriers, so make the right decisions or prepare for battle. "If she could do what she did, there was no telling what the rest of us can do." RIP Ms. Parks, you earned it.
Monday, October 24, 2005
I refuse to put a title here

Why do I refuse? Because I can't think of shit, my brain is mush today; Monday Mush (warning: cheap Will & Grace "The Madonna Episode" rip off)cut to me all Oliver Twist like: "I'd like some more, please" more of what? A brain.

We were pleased to see that Technorati actually updated their book page, see, that's what them there brilliant fuckers at Technorathole are supposed to do on a daily basis, but they've updated the page only twice in the past 4 or 5 months, it used to be daily, helping me sniff out trends, then they slacked like a Spicoli when someone became interested in their sorry ass. Listen, if you want to sell the merchandise, shouldn't all of the merchandise work? Algorithms my ass, please. /technoratireamfest

"I'm passionate about selling." He smiled again. In fact, he smiled so much that I wondered whether a clay mask of his face hanging above the door to my shop might let me off the smiling hook.

"Books aren't like anything else," I said, curious as to whether I could rattle him at all.

"Nothing's like anything else," he replied, still smiling.

"Cornflakes?" I said. "Baked beans?"

"Maybe,"
[via bookslut]


It's true, selling books is an immense joy for myself as well, I could never sell Corn Flakes or Baked Beans with as much enthusiasm and that's saying a lot, because, honestly, I really dislike working in the public. Sure, I play the game, I sell them books like no ones business, because I like books, people, not so much. Now before you think I'm a complete douchebag, my particular vein of neurosis enables me to complete a transaction and conversation with a customer in my head, before it actually happens. But what of the premise of never judging a book by it's cover? Fair enough, but 9 times out of 10 I've got the person pegged and for that 1 percent that completely delights my senses and proves me wrong, well I shag the mofo. Kidding. You have to have a libido for that and mine is on vacation in fucking Florida getting it's ass whipped by weather and liking it. Ah, well, there's your untitled Monday post, thanks for stopping by and please remember your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device in the event of an emergency. Have a super day.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Harry Potter Gay Debacle

I don't know who to slap first or hardest--the author, G.P. Taylor for his hair-brained remark about Harry Potter being gay or the teachers who were embarrassed by his remarks. In an article from Gay.com U.K., October 6, 2005, we learn that G.P. Taylor, author of Harry Potter-esque book, Shadowmancer, complained that the Harry Potter character was "the only gay in the village." Apparently this was an allusion to the "Little Britain" television show, a program I've never even heard mentioned until this article.

What bothers me about the whole thing is that: 1) Harry Potter isn't gay unless my gay radar has gone completely offline. I mean, there's been a significant undercurrent between him and Ginny Weasley since book one. The whole thing is fairly subtle in the first few books, but Rowling does give the reader clues. Maybe they were way too subtle for Taylor, but surely book six made it all perfectly clear that Harry likes girls, at least right now. If Harry wants to switch teams in the future, more power to him, but come on! This is no purple-garbed Tinky Winky we're talking about now. What part of Harry Potter screams gay to this guy? As much as I love Harry Potter, he's not gay, and I'm okay with that. I still have the Sponge Bob gang and the Telebubbies to see me through the morass of famous gay cultural icons. Lest you think I'm gay-bashing here, think again or better yet, check out my website at http://www.ultravioletlove.com/. That ought to let you know which team counts me as a member.

2) The teachers' response to Taylor's remarks is rather, er, um, Victorian? Backward? Homophobic? I can't really figure out who is more homophobic--Taylor or the teachers who booted him out for saying Potter was gay. Gay.com U.K. reports, "The teachers told the newspaper they feared his comments were too much for the 120 students listening. 'The remarks were thought by the staff to be offensive and were well below the standards we expect of responsible and thoughtful adults working in our school,' the school said in a statement."

After recovering from the shock of mentally picturing a school standing behind a podium making a statement, I have to wonder what was so offensive in Taylor's language that he was literally removed from the stage in the middle of his talk. I'd ask whatever happened to free speech and the first amendment, but this was jolly ol' England, so that may not apply exactly. But the question remains. Was it because of the gay remark, or was it because he used other words that may have been offensive to their stodgy ears? In a quote by the author, we find that his take on the situation is a little different. He says, "I have done this talk in many schools and I have been invited back many times. If the words 'fart' and 'bogey' are unacceptable, that's sad."

So was he yanked from the stage for saying fart and bogey or for saying that Harry was gay? The ridiculous thing is that in this day, why should any of these things be offensive? If the kids have read Harry Potter, then they have already been giggling for years over talk about "bogeys" and "farts" and what have you. If the kids pay attention at all in England, then they know, at the least, that their very own Elton John is gay. Do the teachers really think that their students don't know about bogeys, farts, or gay people?

There is nothing about this situation that doesn't seem ridiculous to me. They should have let the man finish his talk and then opened it up to discussion. If the teachers wanted to reem the guy afterwards for a) being homophobic, b) being clueless about Rowling's main character's sexual inclinations, c) using the words bogey and fart, or d) mentioning the gay subject at all, they could have done it afterwards in private. Or they could have done it publicly and made it a learning experience for the students as well.

I have to wonder what the kids thought about this mess. Did the gay kids run back and reread all the books trying to figure out if Harry really was one of them? Did the rest of them go back and try to figure out if they somehow misunderstood the meaning of the word gay? Did they think that all their teachers were hopeless prigs and fascist spoilsports? A conundrum indeed--who to slap first and hardest?
Let the ass tingling blogging commence

I know your just dying to know how my meetings went, well lets just say that my ass still tingles for numerous reasons, one reason, sitting in darkened meeting rooms staring at slide presentations the I previously read on paper, the redundancy of the corporate mind, augh. Another reason, the after awards folly in the Palm Island lounge at the resort. You wouldn't think a bunch of books geeks could party, but I'm here to tell you, we know how to party, we know how to shake our asses and we know how to swill down Jaeger shots while taking pictures of ass cleavage and talking literature.

Early in the evening we were treated to a room filled with 25 authors, John Lescroart, James Rollins, Christine Feehan, and Heather Graham to name just a few. I also met Gayle Lynds, the first female to smash through the glass ceiling of the male dominated "suspense fiction" genre, which won me over immediately, I'm easy like that. I told her "any woman that can cut through any glass ceiling has nipples of diamonds, you go girl!", she told me "I'm using that in my next book", I said, "that's super swell, diamond encrusted bitches unite!" ha, ahem, I do look forward to reading her latest The Coil, ah yes, another tingle.

I also met a relatively new author Barry Eisler, this guy is HOT, sizzle, quiverlicious ladies and gents and his book looks good too! *ass tingle* The blurb on the back of his book won me over "If Quentin Tarantino ever got to take a crack at the James Bond..." that's all I read, I saw Tarantino's name and the word "crack", perhaps I was still thinking about butts and I'm certain this author has a nice one, whatever, I like a good spy thriller and I'm greatly looking forward to reading it.

Corporate meetings melt me feeble brain, but it's worth it for the suitcases of free books, meeting literati, winning Leadership awards (God I'm good) and chasing it all down with Jaeger shots and dancing until you pass out on rock hard mattresses, sleep is for the airplane and that's exactly what I did. Upon my return to the bookstore today, I doled out the goodies to my booksellers and promptly purchased another book, Margaret Cho's I have chosen to stay and fight, right on Ms. Cho, I am at your service and you are now the richer for it and I have yet another book to cherish. And yeah, Ms. Cho makes my ass tingle too.

Ack, before I forget, I'd like to introduce my friend, former colleague and author Beth Mitchum as a regular contributor to Spew it Forward, she's brilliant, fabulous and has a few things to share with the world and I'm very proud to have her part of my team of great minds. Welcome to the Blogosphere Beth! xoxo
Monday, October 17, 2005
Whew! Now, where was I????

Sorry for the absence and the absence to follow. Neurosis, anxiety and a dollop of too damn busy to concentrate on the blog. I've got another whirlwind business trip to Reno the next few days, it should be a damn crime shipping managers to another state for 24 hours of meetings and hotel food, but hey, I'm employed (for now) and a free trip is a free trip. Anyhoodoodlebopshebop, I'm sure when I return I'll be chock full of interesting crap to share with the world and we'll both be the better for it.

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Doctors with free time on their hands can be hoot, even hootier when they shit their pants methinks. [BWE]

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Jim Henson, the orignal fistmaster
It's not easy be green, white, black, yellow or red, but green is the most difficult of all to be, unless your Kermit The Frog and it's your birthday! Happy Birthday Kermit!! I love that damn puppet. Hell, I love anything that can survive with a fist up their ass. So, um, what's green and smells like Miss Piggy?
Kermit's finger....BAHAHAHAH...mmmkay....sorry about that, couldn't resist.

Kermit's 50th Anniversary Tour.

Kermit Poetry here.

Kermit CNN interview.

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See ya in a few days! ;)
Thursday, October 13, 2005
This post has no title :)

You'd think I'd find immense joy as the Bush administration crumbles like a sugar-free cookie (no flavor or substance), but no, I'm not giddy, I'm embarrassed as fuck that half of this great country felt it necessary to re-elect a bunch of filthy, lying bastards, such is life, we like to learn lessons the hard way, ride the short bus of Democracy if you will, not exactly a shining example of intelligent design.

Okay, I'm done bitching, I've got people to do and things to see, reverse that, thanks.

Links for a brilliant mind:

Spike Lee to make Katrina documentary, that should make us proud! Yeehaw!

Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Dance Team. This ought to make the religious right shiver in their shit laced undies, lol.

Toyland Survivor Blog, if you like Survivor, you'll love this, however, we see that the toys are capturing Smurfs, I'll inform PETA directly.
[links via BWE]

The National Book Award finalists are listed over at Bookslut!

Have a dandy day folks, I'm gone.com, for now.....um...see ya tomorrow!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Tip Of The Day: Bird Flu Pandemic


It's a hard job saving the world from it's ungrateful inhabitants. The Bird Flu Virus can be thwarted simply by washing your goddamned hands after handling and or making mad muppet love with sultry poultry. Your welcome.
Smurf Snuff Flick


Midweek, full of the want for the weekend and nothing else. Here's the Unicef/Smurf Snuff film (Quicktime slideshow) via Crooks & Liars.
The last thing I wanted to see today was a baby smurf crying while Smurfette's body lays to waste, ew. War is bad, land mines are evil, we learn this lesson year after year, and here we are using Smurfs to show how bad it is, life on the spinning rock gets more interesting and horrifying as the days progress. Last week I watched Martha Stewart's PETA ad, horrifying as well, I'll never wear a animal fur or Smurfskin coat again.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Folly & Fodder

FEMA continues to suck dingles O'plenty, the proof is in the pudding or um...python.

***********************

The top 20 of the top 500 songs since 1980 according to Blender Magazine:
001. "Billie Jean" - Michael Jackson
002. "B.O.B." - Outkast
003. "Sweet Child O' Mine" - Guns N Roses
004. "One" - U2
005. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" - Nirvana
006. "Like a Prayer" - Madonna
007. "Love Will Tear Us Apart" - Joy Division
008. "Sucker MCs" - Run-D.M.C.
009. ". . .Baby One More Time" - Britney Spears
010. "In Da Club" - 50 Cent
011. "My Name Is" - Eminem
012. "The Message" - Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
013. "Fight for Your Right" - Beastie Boys
014. "You Shook Me All Night Long" - AC/DC
015. "Hey Ya" - Outkast
016. "I Want It That Way" - Backstreet Boys
017. "Super Freak" - Rick James
018. "I'm Coming Out" - Diana Ross
019. "Just Like Heaven" - The Cure
020. "The Show" - Doug E. Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew

[via BWE]

********************

The Smurfs, they're blue, share one blue chick and star in a UNICEF snuff film, just in time for Oscar chatter, neato.

******************************

Boobie Boner of the Day OR October is Breast Cancer Awareness month:
"I am trying to get a hold of someone in India who could help me. I want to do a huge benefit next year in Agra at the Taj Mahal where we turn the Taj pink for Breast Cancer Awareness [via lights, not dye]." -- Elizabeth Hurley

The Taj Mahal was made out of love, love your tits people, love them.

***************************************

My boss called me with a customer complaint yesterday. Apparently on Saturday, a nice young woman with a cute baby decided that I didn't want to sell Ann Coulter's "How To Talk Liberal." Well fuck that! I wanted to sell it to her and I put it in her hand but she didn't want to pay the full cost of the book and said she would go to Costco. She wanted to engage in a conversation about Coulter's greatness; I did not. She lamented that the book was a bestseller and didn't understand why it wasn't at the front of the store. I replied that it didn't sell for us, that one hardcover sale does not make a bestseller, and that we are a true blue state in the respect that conservative political pulp just doesn't sell in my neck of the woods. Still, she didn't like my attitude, of which, I don't recall ever having. I know when to keep the trap shut. She bought some other books for her cute baby and I told her to have a nice day. Still the wench proceeded to complain just like the people that get pissed that James Dobson currently doesn't line our bookshelves. Fuck that, they don't SELL. I'm running a business here folks, not a fucking candy store of negativity and bigotry. Go to Costco, I don't care, just don't take me down because your conservative psycho radio hosts demand it. Stop being fucking sheep and think for yourself, mmmkay? With that, I leave you with an Angry Black Bitch VS. Ann Coulter:
Harriet Miers went to Southern Methodist University Law School, which is not ranked at all by the serious law school reports and ranked No. 52 by US News and World Report. Her greatest legal accomplishment is being the first woman commissioner of the Texas Lottery. From www.anncoulter.com October 10, 2005.

Oh no you didn't! Shut the fuck up! All of the sudden a person has to be intellectually qualified? Where were you when we liberals were demanding a President with a brain? A bitch is so glad that y'all have decided to embrace thinking....too bad you waited for the nation to go knee deep into an illegal war, mount up the largest debt in history, rape the environment and return to the days of medieval healthcare
!

Hehe, haha, hoho!! Have a loverly day!
Monday, October 10, 2005
The Butt Crack Of Dawn

Two movies I watched yesterday mentioned "the butt crack of dawn" and today I witnessed that very butt crack; its beautiful, wispy pink clouds splattered across varying shades of blue as the day showed me its ass crack. Life is good. Why the butt crack of dawn? You never hear of the tit-cleavage of twilight or the dong shadow of midday. I like to say that when mother earth has an earthquake, she popped a cyst and she's pissed as hell. Hurricanes are hissy fits and lightening storms are signs that she's going postal. We are currently living in a violent cycle of said natural anomalies. Add a dash of war, a smidge of political dissent (Korea still wants to puree' our collective asses) and it kind of makes you want to never wake another day to see that ass crack again. But we do, we survive, and the world will spin with or without us. Please continue giving to the Red Cross for disaster relief. The way things are going we're all going to need it at one point or the other so we can live to see another stinky ass-crack, dong shadow, tit cleavaged day.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Book Spew

Author Max Barry's new book Company will be released in January.
Kirkus:
"A raucous black comedy… enters some sublimely Kafkaesque territory"

Publisher weekly:
"As bitter as break-room coffee, the novel eviscerates modern management techniques"

ANY novel that eviscerates modern management is fine by me. My own company continues to spend millions on management models that make me fucking shiver on a daily basis. Asinine bullshit by the paper ream, yet, they say they are reducing physical tasks so we can spend more time selling books to people, that is if you can find your way through the masses of paper shit that were supposed to be reduced due to the new intranet, link after link and you still don't know where to find shit, shit that is due to your boss the next day, she sent you a hard copy in one of the million of mail packages she sends on a weekly basis *pop* yeah, um, that was something in my brain, never to return (Kafkaesque, if I say so myself). Anyhoo, we are greatly looking forward to The Company and if you haven't read Jennifer Government yet, you should, it's happening at this very moment as you scratch the very ass your sitting on.

We are working on another Saturday, between working weekends and doctors appointments, I have no life, this makes me tired, bitchy and and most willing to eviscerate anything that crosses my path, ugh. Have a faboo, dandy, super swell day, really.
Friday, October 07, 2005
It's like saying, "Dude, your a mugblood and your gay."

Is Ginnie Weasly about to have her heart crushed by a fickle Harry Potter? Is Harry Potter gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that (obligatory Seinfield blather). I can understand the load of envy in a children's book authors psyche, they've spent their whole lives writing books and in return still have to work at Jack In The Crack to pay the bills and along comes J.K. Rowlings with her little wizard boy and next thing you know, she's a damn billionaire and people are naming their babies Harry, which is always better than naming them dick, it's luck, happenchance and good writing that made her a success. Now the author of a particularly bad book is getting axed for putting Harry in the closet:
"Reverend Graham Taylor, who penned the novel "Shadowmancer" which, like the tales of the famous boy wizard created by J.K. Rowling, centers on witchcraft and battling evil, got his marching orders after teachers accused him of homophobia.
"As for Harry Potter, well, he's not the only gay in the village," the former Anglican priest told children at Penair School in Truro, southwest England, referring to a catchphrase from the popular British comedy TV show "Little Britain."
He also described the villains in Rowling's blockbuster series as "wimps" and called TV "crap" compared to books
."

Television is crap compared to books, but I'm paid to say that and the way this week is going at work, the television is winning, freaks I say.
"It was a joke; a joke from 'Little Britain' that the children would know," Taylor was quoted by newspapers as saying.

"I didn't set out to offend. I'm a priest and I'm very careful about not offending people."

Yeah, but it also showed his students that he's jealous as fuck. Rev. Taylor's books tried to be good, but they sucked Big Gay Al and Al didn't give him his digits afterwards.
Harry Potter is not gay and I say that from a completely insane point of view, because we all know Harry is fictional and I don't really know how he feels, but I've read all the books (like a good book junkie) and I feel I know Harry and I'm quite certain, Mary K. Letourno would love a bit of afternoon delight with Mr. Potter's magic wand, the boy is straight. Now, if only society would stop making being Gay a bad thing, it is not a bad thing, it's a good thing. Knowing who you are and what you want from life is a damn fine thing. Being a self righteous, jealous motherfucker is bad thing. I know this is a little preachy, people have the right to make fun of what they don't understand, it just makes them look like fools when they do a poor job of it.

UPDATE: apparently, not unlike my high school sweetheart, I was wrong again, lol...mmmmkay.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
War Of The World In 30 With Bunnies

CLICK TO PLAY, play what?
Click it!
What, Where, Why & How the hell do I turn this thing off?

Nick & Jessica, over? Tom & Katie, pregnant or alien invasion? Hurricanes, tsunamis, Harriet Mier, earthquakes, Paris Hilton, Govenators? "Free people will own the future." but it will cost your ass --Presidential speech that I didn't know had taken place because I was entirely to distracted by Lindsay "Wrecking Crew" Lohan trashing her beemer, the silly tart. Um...when I blew my nose this morning, my sinus cavity sent out an Amber Alert for it's missing snot. Time for work, more work, work...bleeberschnitzergulp.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Bushpacking

The irrational need to Google anything Jon Stewart tells you to Google.

Thank You and Goodnight.
Supreme Court Nominee With The Boobie Factor And Other Spew

The President's left nut descends after nominating a woman for the Supreme Court this morning. Fear not, the right nut promptly receded up within his person, you can almost smell it. Ew. Let's hope this woman has balls enough to play with the big boys. Once a democrat, now a republican, she's a fickle bitch indeed and that's her prerogative, being a woman and all, I guess.
[http://www.wonkette.com/politics/harriet-miers/index.php#notsowild-about-harriet-128694]

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Dear Paris and Paris, thank you.

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Maud Newton on African American Literature segregation in bookstores:
Ultimately, I am in favor of the color-blind shelving of books. As I said before, literature is universal. However, keep the Colored Section where it is. Let us call for the overthrow of racism, prejudice, and even indifference that makes such sections necessary.

I've been doing this book biz 21 years, 21 freakin' years and you can't win, you can only follow the trends and the trend is in favor of a section devoted to AF/AM literature -- right now -- it will change once more, once the sales drop (hopefully they won't), but I'm with Maud on this one, there is magic in finding a book you want to read not dictated by race or gender, if the story looks great, buy the book.

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"I learned about sex from 'Betty and Veronica,' economics from 'Donald Duck,' and philosophy from 'Peanuts,'" Spiegelman said. "I should have been prepared when aliens took over the government."

[links via Book Slut]

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We have a very busy week ahead, it's that special time of year where the corporate heads make us work twice as much for the same money, charming little cubicle monkeys......hisssssssss....we will make every effort (kinda) to post daily, if it doesn't happen, you can find me in the fetal position under my desk at work. Have a lovely day!
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Who?

Geez, been hearing about this one for longer than I've cut my toe nails.

Mike Myers has finally signed on the straight line to play drummer Keith Moon in a biopic based on "The Who" band-member, best known as the finest 'drum kit' destroyer in history - and also, a dude with a gift for playing with the sticks.

According to Variety, the film has been in the works for about ten years - I've never heard anyone else mentioned for the part of Moon but Wayne Campbell himself - with Roger Daltrey and Nigel Sinclair finally getting it off the pavement.

The film, being developed by Sinclair's Spitfire Pictures, will tell of the hard-living rocker Moon - known for his wild behaviour on and off-stage - whose batteries ran out in 1978.

Here's hoping Nicolas Cage is still the firm fave to wear the vest of Pete Townsend. There's no substitute, really, is there
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Um, nifty. I love The Who, I do, yippee! I'm working on a Saturday and that sucks big ass ookieshitlacedcookies. Have a wonderful day!

[link via BWE]