Knee deep in the hoopla

Hoarding hoopla: I have enormous dislike for Beanie Babies. I was awake until 2 a.m. sorting evil Beanie Babies and you know what, Ty the company that makes the bean-filled treasures are sick fuckers for cornering the obsessive/compulsive market. What was I thinking? Had I known that when I bought the semi-cute, slightly amusing, mini cuddle toys 10 years ago, that'd I'd spend sleepless night sorting them, I wouldn't have bought them. Seriously, I think.

In true obsessive order, I've spent the entire weekend going through all the boxes from the storage space and my own closet. Saturday went well enough and somewhere yesterday afternoon I really started loathing the accumulation of "stuff" that I'm a slave to. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, sure, the light I'm seeing might just be a bomb in Lebanon or perhaps it's just "1000 points of light" residue, or it could be an illusion, like when you close your eyes at night and all the electrical activities of the brain put on a spectacular light show (at least it happen to me that way, it's life perk) whatever form the light is, I'll take it.

AcK! Whatever, it will be done soon enough, I hate starting Monday feeling likes it's Friday. Have a loverly day!

Drunken DUI Hoopla - Kaplah! Kaplah! Mel Gibson was an uber prick when arrested for drinking while driving. "I acted like a person completely out of control when I was arrested and said things that I do not believe to be true and which are despicable" hmmm, rage issues, neat-o! Perhaps I'll send him a Beanie Baby or 12 to console him.


Hater Hoopla: "(CNN) -- One person was killed and five others were wounded, three critically, in a shooting at the Jewish Federation in downtown Seattle, Washington, police said." I watched it unfold on live television, it was bizarre to say the least and it's tragic one women lost her life and five others were injured, because some sorry excuse for a human being would rather blame all at that is wrong in his life and the world on the damn Jews. Get the fuck over it people, it's damn pathetic to see a lack of evolution when it comes to the matter of religion. God, in his infinite wisdom, chortles and shrugs his/her shoulders in disbelief most days, I know, I asked him/her. No Beanie Babies for Jew-hatin' murderers!

Honorary Hoopla: She was once The Antic Muse, then she was Wonkette, then she was all over the cable news, then she wrote a book, left her wonky pad and got a job at Time Magazine and they liked her, they really liked her. It all started with a blog folks, sure, she has talent and liberally uses the term "ass-fucking", but who doesn't now and then? Congratulations Ana Marie Cox. Howzabout a Beanie Baby?

Dangerous game link o' de day-o hoopla! Pirate Poppers. It's a free trial although I did end up buying it, oy. I am Master & Commander and can't get paste level 52. As long as you don't close the game, you won't have to pay, enjoy.

Future Spew: Furby's Galore - chapter two in my compulsions. I know, I know...bated breath...blah, blah. ;)

Again, have a loverly day and don't be surprised if you hear me saying "a Dingo ate my Beanie baby!" in the near future.

The Bitch Is a Task Master

Out of the closet, all of my shit (read: collectibles and assorted whatnots) has come out of the storage closet. It was approximately 20 boxes. 20 boxes of which were once attacked by rats. I was devastated when it happened some odd years ago, I went through the majority of the boxes back then just to survey the damage and followed it up with throwing 2 boxes of DeCon in the storage closet and left it that way. A couple of earthquakes and some more rat damage later, the job is almost done.

The volume of stuffed trashed was about 5 garbage bags, as we reached the lowest sitting boxes, things got a bit more gruesome. A dead rat was found in one of the boxes. He set up a nice house, made a nice nest out of a little baby quilt, nibbled the life out of a once cool, now chewed lamp (trashed) and he had a stash of DeCon in the corner of the box. Elizabeth is one hard ass worker, the main reason I hired her at the bookstore and the main reason I hired her for this heinous project. She picked up the dead rat and trashed it immediately without hesitation, where as I went in gag and dry heave mode for about a half hour. That alone would have stopped me as it did years ago, but that didn't stop Elizabeth, we sorted cleaned and organized until midnight. She's relentless. I'm sore as fuck and she's coming over tonight to work some more as there are boxes throughout my living room waiting to be dealt with. I hurt.

My storage space is just like anyone's attic, the decades of memories, some bad, most good. It's a wild ride to say the least and I'm so achey right now, I'd love to call Elizabeth and say, "let's resume this next week, I'm old and tired", but, I won't, I'll follow through, because Elizabeth has been hired to do a job and damn if she isn't going to finish it. Damnit, lol, I hurt.

Sun Baked Memories

So, I'm sitting around, because sitting square isn't appropriate when one's ass is round, and I decide to go through the umpteen boxes in my storage unit. It was inevitable so I sucked it up called a friend, my former assistant manager and motivator Elizabeth, and we were at it until 10:30 last night.

The boxes hold memories from the 70's, 80's and the 90's. Pictures, good lord the pictures. I thought most had been lost, but alas, there they were in all shades of hair color, varying degrees of weight, assorted boyfriends forever trapped in my photo albums. My prior life sat there in a storage closet, and it's time they came out of the closet. It's fun and a brainmelt nicely compartmentalized in assorted boxes. I found my High School yearbooks, but have yet to find the diploma, snarf.

Most of the boxes are filled with collectibles, pop culture grab bags that will, for the most part, to be sold on eBay. The theory being I haven't missed them, at one time enjoyed them, but it's time for someone else to enjoy them. Who does't need Dukakis and Bush clip dolls?

I'll post some pics later, because I'm quite certain that you'll be amused at the stuff I haven't looked at in over a decade. It's another hot one today, making cleaning the memories much easier - just leave it in the sun, the shake it off, lol. Have a sweatalicious day!

One last pic? Sure, why the fuck not! Gotta love the 80's, again, who doesn't need politicians as a bookmarker??? Imagine Gorby or Reagan saving your spot...heh.



Yes, sweatalicious.

4 to 5 ruling for NO Gay Marriage

"The state Supreme Court today upheld Washington's law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman, rejecting the argument of 19 same-sex couples that they've been unfairly denied the right to wed."

Well, so much for being a progressive state. The decision was close indeed and the day will be full of press conferences and dissent. I was hoping for a better outcome, but then again, we have a corrupt government that is out of control. A Government more willing to kill in other countries then allow happiness in their own. A Government that plays God and does so badly.

Quickies

Beer for dogs, yep. Slobber Lager

[via Gawker]

BEER for dogs, my cats are pissed and not in a good "slobber lager" way.

------------------------------->^o^<
Just my luck, I don't even own a car.

------------------------>>(())o>

Savage humanity, where do I sign up?

---------------------------oooOOOooOOooo

"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn the way" - Jessica Rabbit
Animator vs. Animation.
[via Alas a blog]

Cat Du Jour

Living near the water has it's benefits the biggest being the marine layer of clouds that has cooled us from 94 to a cool crisp 59, it's still supposed to get back up in the 80's today, but this morning is a refreshing change of pace.

This heat is something else, I never took into consideration that neither one of my cats have experienced such heat, that is until yesterday. Ruby, the older of the two just lays around seemingly unbothered by the heat, Sophie on the other hand tried to play it like any day. Sophie loves the outside and after an hour of romping about she finally came back to the house, but she immediately plopped to the ground and started breathing through her mouth. Domestic cats just don't do that unless there in a Stephen King novel. Concerned, I dragged her limp ass to the water dish and she wouldn't drink, so I opened a can of food, which she inhaled in seconds. I thought "good at least it's wet" until the mouth breathing started again. She was like a damn mouth-breathing noodle, I tried to force water down her throat, she wouldn't drink, she was so hot and I was getting worried that my muscular Siamese was as pliable as putty, so we dipped her in ice water and she didn't mind one bit. No, straining to scratch my eyes out, just a look of relief.

After a bout an hour Sophie reemerged (wet kitties hide in shame.) Her hair was spiky from the water, but her eyes looked clear and she straight to her water dish and started lapping up the water. Whew.

This morning both cats are full of energy, perhaps it's because they can move freely without aid of mouth breathing. Crazy.

Be safe, stay cool and don't forget your pets, they don't know any better and after a week of this evil weather you'd think I'd know better, oy. Don't cook yer kitties.

Debit Monopoly

It's 1984 in 2006, so don't you land your ass on my Park Place, bitch.

Hot (Sweaty) Child In The City

Last week when most of the U.S. was melting, we here in the Northwest were frolicking about in a comfortable 70 degree way, it was nice, but now were melting away with the rest of the country and it's hideous....blech. It's just after 10a.m. and damn if it's not 80 degrees already!! It's like Satan has gas or God forgot to turn off the tanning bed or something...or perhaps it's just an "inconvenient Truth".

Speaking of inconvenient truths here's another Lebanon blogger: Ms Levantine On receiving emails from hot & sweaty folks in England "My husband said that if this war doesn't kill us, global warming will. Hehe." Hell, you gotta laugh (and sweat.)

A very hip Paul Hipp sings about how, in the words of the Prez George Bush, we need to Stop this shit.

Truth up in yer face: Howzabouta Obama - Gore '08 Ticket? I like it, it makes me sweat less. Now if someone will tell Al that being a number two isn't so awful, especially when you rocked the job. Wait a second....

The inconvenient truth is that as a politician, Gore has always been more successful in a supporting role. In the Senate, he was a visionary on environmental issues, nuclear proliferation and, yes, the Internet, which he never did claim he invented. And people forget that his addition to the ticket in 1992 helped jump-start the Clinton campaign.

Thanks WaPo!

Keep it cool and have a loverly, sweat filled day!

"Save yourself, serve yourself."

"Brainwash is the new Black Plague" writes Mana a young artist currently living in Beruit. If you tell people what they want to hear, they'll follow you to the end of the Earth...um...well, perhaps we shouldn't mention the end of the Earth. Sure, Indonesia may just be swallowed whole by the Sea (angry lil' bitch) and yeah Korea wants to blow everyone to hell in a handbasket, not to mention Iran and Iraq and now India is blocking access to blogging tools with no explanation. The ice caps are melting and Wal Mart will soon be the largest employer in the United states. What a beautiful day!

President Bush at a dinner with Tony Blair said "What they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit, and it's over" and only then did he swallow his food.

Can this world be fixed? With all the talk on the Sunday news shows it's freakin' WWIII! But, sure it can be fixed, once the leaders and zealots remove their heads from their asses long enough as not smell shit anymore, things could get better, but history continues to repeat itself, because that's what we humans do repeat, follow, repeat, lather, rinse, re-fucking-peat, break the cycle bitches, we're playing for keeps. What a fucking mess.

Well, while the world wobbles and the players on the planet play Wizard Chess, I've got things to do as does Mana, in the midst of war says

"No work and no leaving the house means I am forced to clean up my room today, doesn't it. The warzone's not where we might think."

Mana got it right, the warzone is not where we might think, it seems to be everywhere, all the goddamned time anymore and it's exhausting and it's probably the reason I got my period today. Damnit! Might as well clean my room too, after the chocolate binge that is.

"Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its
own needs, listen to your heart bleed. Tell me with the rapture and the
reverent in the right - right. You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright
light, feeling pretty psyched." - REM

Have a fabulous day despite it all.

[Mana's blog via AS]

Send in the clowns.......or not.

"SEATTLE (Reuters) - Police are on the lookout for members of a machete-wielding gang in angry clown make-up after a rampage of robbery and violence that left nearly two dozen people injured in a park in western Washington state."

This can't be good and it's a sad state of affairs when some lame ass motherfuckers can't think of anything else to do to pass the time than to dress up as "angry" clowns and then assault folks. It's so demented and cruel, you'd think they were neocons.

If you see ANY angry clowns please call the authorities asap - *Honk* *HonK*
[link via SS]

Spewey Goodness

Music Spew:

New Killers music, sounds like The Killers. Nice.

Book Spew:

What crap on yonder bookshelf doth sell for millions?
"A First Folio edition of Shakespeare’s plays, a 1623 volume of the most important book in English literature, sparked feverish bidding at Sotheby’s in London today, eventually selling for £2.8 million."
[via BS]

Politickle Spew:
"Former CIA agent Plame sues Cheney for leaking her identity"
Hip-hip-hurray! I hope she's not allergic to bird shot.

Sanitarium Santorum

Curse you John Stewart, there are just some things that I don't need to know. Things I now have to share, curse you.
On The Daily Show, John reviews 50 Things You May Not Know About Rick "Sanitarium" Santorum. On Mr. Stewart's list:

Okay, so I Googled the man and the number one link to a Googled Santorum?

Ew, twitch, ew.

The Head Butt Heard 'Round the world

[via SS]

Practice the Zidane method here. [via OH]

Okay, so there was Pele', then that Spice Girl's bitch Beckham and now Zidane The Headbutter. Soccer superstars, now if I could only watch it....not. :)

Art of war

Worth 1000's latest Photoshop contest results

"Art is a step from what is obvious and well-known toward what is arcane and concealed." - Kahlil Gibran

Lay dee da

"Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box." ~Italian proverb
Remembering Ken Lay @ Cagle

Bloggers are mean and full of discharge

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Bush Pilot ~ Bushbot

The Bush pilot himself reports about his job and the obstacles involved

[via]

Ode to Mr. Miyagi

This morning as I was waxing David Hasselhoff's chest, I thought to myself "if a guy can trade a red paper clip for a house, why couldn't I trade ALL of my multi-colored paper clips for a house?" These are some gorgeous paperclips in the lot, not just one damn red one. My mind raced, a house for a paper clip...wow. Moments later my head exploded with the possibilities, which, incidentally, made typing this post difficult.

Once I regained my mental faculties I got to thinking about plagiarism and what a hoot it can be, especially if you write for a living, well at least Ann Coulter thinks so. Example:

In a newspaper column that ran in 2005, Coulter wrote of Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter:

"As New Hampshire attorney general in 1977, Souter opposed the repeal of an 1848 state law that made abortion a crime even though Roe v. Wade had made it irrelevant, predicting that if the law were repealed, New Hampshire 'would become the abortion mill of the United States."'

A Los Angeles Times article from 1990 noted: "In 1977, Souter as state attorney general spoke out against a proposed repeal of an 1848 state law that made abortion a crime _ even though the measure had been largely invalidated by the Supreme Court in Roe. vs. Wade ... 'Quite apart from the fact that I don't think unlimited abortions ought to be allowed ... I presume we would become the abortion mill of the United States(.)"'

LOL, whatever gets ya through the day! Now I don't want to bash anybody, trust me, I'm chock full of "oopsie's", but we pave the path we tread, don't we? Fortunately Ms. Coulter started with the defending of the um...copying text without credit due with the media:

ADAM CAROLLA: Ann Coulter, who was suppose to be on the show about an hour and a half ago, is now on the phone, as well. Ann?

ANN COULTER: Hello.

CAROLLA: Hi Ann. You're late, babydoll.

COULTER: Uh, somebody gave me the wrong number.

CAROLLA: Mmm... how did you get the right number? Just dialed randomly & eventually got to our show? (Laughter in background)

COULTER: Um, no. My publicist e-mailed it to me, I guess, after checking with you.

CAROLLA: Ahh, I see.

COULTER: But I am really tight on time right now because I already had a ...
CAROLLA: Alright, well, get lost.

[Crosstalk in the studio]

CAROLLA: I'm tight on time, too, and I don't have time for bitches, so letÂ?s move on.

[...]

[inaudible] Tight on time... Go f- yourself, you're tight on time.

Female co-host (Teresa Strasser or Sarah Silverman?): I say this to Ann Coulter. Why the long face? (Laughter)

CAROLLA: Listen, you bitch, don't call in an hour and a half late and tell me you're "tight on time." Of course you're tight on time, you're an hour and a half God-damn late calling into a radio show. Just take your stupid book and go pitch it to your stupid cable outlets.

Perhaps she should have started her day with waxing on and waxing off the Hoffster.

[links via: SS, BWE, GS and GN]

Arrrrrrr, avast, yo-ho, swashing da buckle...arrrrrr

"You're there to have fun. Fun for the family. Fun for the kids. Fun for everyone. So shut up and have fun."

Well, I did "shut up" and went to Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest to see the loverly Capt. Jack Sparrow today. I've read good and bad reviews, both of which I respect immensely -- not, I like to form my own opinion thank you very much. Pirates, swords, festering wounds, an "undead" Monkey, it's everything a girl could ask for!

The CGI, fab. The sword fights, amazing. The scene with Johnny Depp wearing garters and corset, non-existent (a girl can dream, no?).

The movie ends with a bit of a surprise that leaves you going..."whoa...cool" and then the credits pop on the screen and you're left saying "NOOOOO", well at least I did. It's a summer flick all the way, action, rum, eyeliner, the usual. The movie is fun...a little long and if I here one more complaint from a reviewer about it's length, and about how they don't have time to sit through a two and a half hour movie I shall sit on them for two and a half hours and then they can judge which is the better way to spend that allotment of time, fucking whining babies, it's a Pirate movie...arrr.

And don't forget September's Talk Like a Pirate Day!


Update: 55 million = Biggest Hollyweird opening day EVER! It's fun, go, have fun.

Bada bing bada....

South Park gets Emmy nom for "Trapped". Tom Cruise, R. Kelly, and Issac Hayes can finally put this behind them, where they put it "behind" them is anyones guess.

.......

 >
I had the shirt. The shoes. The beer. The free hat. Woo!

They lost. 

Happy Independence Day

View more 4th of July Editorials @ Cagle.
For all the bitching and all the whining we American's have the right to bitch and whine about, this America thing isn't half bad. God Bless America. Stay safe and gooooOOOooOOoooOOoo Mariners! Beer.

Oh but ain't that America

""Loooovve mee tenderrrrr," Mr. Koizumi crooned, as Priscilla Presley, Elvis's former wife, and Lisa Marie, his daughter, looked on."

It's nice to see that Priscilla Presly took a few moments from botoxing the living shit out of her face to show off the epitome of Americana - Graceland.