< Spew It Forward!: 10.06

Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween!


To you and yours, from me and mine. Be SAFE and enjoy the day!

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Strike a pose



"Legend claims that Maria Antonia and the composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart became acquainted as children, when Mozart gave a short musical concert for the Imperial Family. Afterwards, when asked by the Empress what he would like as a reward for his performance, the young Mozart allegedly asked for Maria Antonia's hand in marriage."

Had Marie Antoinette's family taken up this proposal things would have been slightly different for Maria. But no, her family insisted upon making her a queen, which they did by marrying her off to the Dauphin of France and although she had a very plush life, she didn't do the "deed" with her man until seven years into their marriage and then to top it off, they "auf'd" her head. Bummer.

I saw Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette yesterday and it's gorgeous. Kristen Dunst managed not to annoy me, which she normally does, but it worked for this character. The movie is completely through the young Marie's eyes, so it lacks specifics if your a history geek, but if your at all familiar with the French Revolution, you get the gist. I liked the use of the new romantic music of the 80's, it worked in more ways than not. But, (hello "but", nice to see you again) the movie moves slowly, almost trance-like to the point of putting me to sleep (briefly, more like a nod and a smidge of spittle), this worked for Coppola's brilliant Lost In Translation, but when you have the equivalent of an eyeball boner brought on by the gorgeous clothing, Versailles and Dunst's stunning, quirky smile, it doesn't work as well.

Overall, the movie is good. Dunst is terrific, Schwartzmann is adorable as Louis and the visuals, well, they give you eyeball boners. Thumbs up, but I'd wait for the DVD, just in case you nod off like I did, although drooling in public can be an adventure, so do as you wish.

Speaking of Diva's Madonna will be on Oprah today to explain her adoption process. Hopefully this will shush the gossip, but I doubt it will. Madonna is a woman who could fart in a cup and sell it for millions, she's the "material girl", she's a Kabbalah warrior, she is not Angelina Jolie. The show should prove interesting...or not, we'll have to wait and see.


Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Monday, October 23, 2006
Habeas Corpus Gone


Oh Oby, you can say it better than I ever could and you look better doing it.
[ratboy]

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Sunday, October 22, 2006
Dreamy

Dream Girls trailer, sure Beyonce' is gorgeous and sings delightfully, but you know it's all about former idolite Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "Your gonna love me" and we can't wait to see it!

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Saturday, October 21, 2006
"Metronatural"


SayWA? Spring fresh? Magically delicious? We've finally got used to the Metrosexual, men who divulge in as much primping and pampering as women, now we've got to get used to the idea that Seattle is now Metronatural.
"Seattle offers the best of both worlds," Don Welsh, the bureau's president, said in a news release. "We have a vibrant urban center surrounded by pristine wilderness and outdoor recreation."

The idea of "metronatural" was to capture that, Welsh said, adding that so far, feedback has been overwhelmingly positive. He said some people might not get it if they're simply told what the slogan is, but once they see it on photographs of the city, Puget Sound or the Cascades, it really resonates."

It sounds like a health food store to me or a locally produced feminine product. "Honey, hand me my Metronatural...It's douche day!". The sampling of Seattle residents a local news station asked about the new slogan were pretty much taken aback, not knowing what it meant. Seattle is far from a "green" city, but it sits amidst two Mountain ranges and Puget Sound, we have Orca's in the waters and Bald eagles that fly over Safeco field during game time. Seattle is beyond gorgeous, now we're Metronatural. I get it, it's kind of funny in a trendy-trying-to-hard-to-be-hip way and it's definitely a step up from the slogan "SayWA"....What? "SayWA"...What? Say it. "WA". Thank You. What?

Welcome to Seattle the Metronatural city, we're spring fresh and pretty, you can almost smell it.

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Friday, October 20, 2006
I'm an original


How Many Of Me.com

I don't think I've ever put my full last name on the blog, I don't like to share specifics of my life, that is unless it's a wart on my ass, of which I have none, whew! Thankfulness aside, I just want to point out just how original I am, the last name helps, but I suspect that even if I didn't have this last name I'd still be me. Imagine going through life with a "Z" last name, I'm always last unless they go by the alphabet backwards and then I'm first, eek. At the grocery store, the checker always has to thank me by my name and it's always amusing to see if they'll pronounce it correctly and 9 times out of ten they don't. I return all bumbled attempts at saying Ziniewicz with "It's Polish for Smith", they laugh, I leave.

It's not enough that I've got one of "those faces"...."are you related to..?", "I know you from somewhere, don't I? My favorite is when the person really thinks they know me and promptly starts a conversation, if they don't figure it out before they tell me about their life, I gently tell them I'm not who they think I am, we laugh together and as they walk away, they turn to look at me one last time with a questionable look on their face.

All my nieces and nephews, upon birth, have heard the words "you look like your Auntie" and if you could see me first thing in the morning, you'd see the resemblence. I'm just one of "those" kind of people, completely my own, curmudgeonly self, but if you feel like we've met before, perhaps we have, but it's most likely we haven't. I've just got one of "those faces" and once you hear my name, you know you haven't met me before, because I'm Theresa Ziniewicz and there's only one of me in this country and that's just spiffy by me.
[link via JG]

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Thursday, October 19, 2006
Project Runway Finale

To say I was shocked that Jeffrey won is an understatement. I think a little piece of my brain shot out of my nose into my tea when they announced it and then I sipped the tea, ew. The judges wanted innovation and picked Mr. McMeanyTattooNeck. No, they didn't want Laura's clean, magnificent cocktail attire. They didn't want Uli's flowery, flowy whatnots (my personal fav) or Michaels hoochie mama on Melrose garb. Apparently the judges wanted clothes inspired by Japanese ghost stories (Boo!), gulp. I will say I LOVED his striped jacket, I would wear it out most likely, but the other stuff was a little too manga-esque and honestly, I can't remember a time I said to myself, "Hey, I wanna look like a Japanese Ghost, I'm all about "dead sexy" you can almost smell it!"

I'm not one to dismiss Jeffery's obvious talents and I applaud his use of fantasy as a muse, but...having sold a gazillion Anime' books, I've seen his collection before... on the covers of these books, blet. In a world where Dove has the balls to show us what it really takes to be a "real woman", I'm not surprised that the Project Runway judges picked Jeffery, better to keep the illusion of "real women" in the background. Bitches in sweats just don't sell.

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Wednesday, October 18, 2006
The further adventures of "hugging it out"

"We like to hug our customers. Not literally (unless they bring a particularly huge pile of books to the counter on a particularly slow day), but with the attention we give them. And from the feedback we get they seem to love being hugged."

Ah yes, personal attention to the customer, it's always a Win/Win and sometimes I'd actually hug 'em, if I liked them or have known them for some time. With the growth of e-commerce, there's not a whole lot of hugging going on, unless it's a real hot UPS guy, "Wow, my books are here! Yippeeeee! Can I hug you? Would you like some coffee? Tea? Sex?" Okay, I've haven't gone that far, but I have been overly excited to recieve my packages. Hmm...

[via BS]

Hug it out here.

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Tuesday, October 17, 2006
"1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die"

"There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." -Joseph Brodsky

I haven't finished a single book in 6 months, but once I started to read Peter Boxall's list, I feel inspired to finish up the 5 or so half read or almost finished novels I've been savoring during my little sabbatical. I'll quote the actress Rachel Weisz from this months "O" magazine. "I sometimes don't finish a book because the story never ends" I can relate to that completely. One of books I have been reading, especially in the early months of my unemployment was or rather, is, part of a series; The Dance Of Death by Lincoln Child and Douglas Preston. Sure, this is no literary dandy, some may even call it pulp, but I love FBI Agent Aloysius Pendergast (paging Kevin Spacey, you'd be a perfect Pendergast!) a quirky and strange fellow that first appeared in the authors book The Relic. They're fun books with great mysteries, odd characters and I read about a page or two a day, not wanting it to end, milking it until the next book is in paperback or perhaps it's that if I finish it, it will mark the end of my time away from work. Whatever the case, this book and the others that I haven't completely committed to will soon be finished, because this Boxall's list has reminded that I already own a massive chunk of the list, shelved in the "to be read, eventually" section of my library.

Reading habits change, and I'm certain that I'll start devouring books at warp speed now that fall has um...fallen upon us once again. Honestly, what is better than curling up by the fire with a terrific book?

After reviewing the list of "1001 Books" that I must read before my tits point upward forever (well, after you fish them out of my armpits that is), I can say I've only dented this list:
  • Everything is Illuminated
  • The Robber Bride
  • The Secret History
  • Written on the Body
  • Sexing the Cherry
  • Like Water for Chocolate
  • Cat's Eye
  • Foucault's Pendulum
  • The Black Dahlia
  • The Passion
  • The Cider House Rules
  • Less Than Zero
  • Contact
  • The Handmaid's Tale
  • The Lover
  • The Color Purple
  • Confederacy of Dunces
  • Delta of Venus
  • Interview With the Vampire
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
  • Slaughterhouse-five
  • The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test
  • In Cold Blood
  • Cat's Cradle
  • The Bell Jar
  • A Clockwork Orange
  • Catch-22
  • To Kill a Mockingbird
  • Naked Lunch
  • The Once and Future King
  • Lolita
  • The Story of O
  • Invisible Man
  • The Catcher in the Rye
  • Nineteen Eighty-Four
  • The Little Prince
  • Tropic of Capricorn
  • Of Mice and Men
  • Their Eyes Were Watching God
  • Gone With the Wind
  • Orlando
  • Lady Chatterley's Love
  • The Great Gatsby
  • Siddhartha
  • The Wings of the Dove
  • Heart of Darkness
  • The Hound of the Baskervilles
  • Dracula
  • The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
  • Little Women
  • Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
  • The Water-Babies
  • Great Expectations
  • Walden
  • Madame Bovary
  • The House of the Seven Gables
  • The Scarlett Letter
  • Jane Eyre
  • The Count of Monte-Cristo
  • The Three Musketeers
  • A Christmas Carol
  • Frankenstein
  • Pride and Prejudice
  • Aesop's Fables

Holy mudder of gawd, it's only 63 out of 1001! This list is actually a book and Jessa Crispin (she's read 96) interviews the author/editor of the list and book of the same name at The Book Standard and Boxall states "the book will continue to be an organic thing, changing with each printing and the continuation of the debate." as it should, I say. My list would differ greatly from Boxall's because I go through serious bouts of non-fiction folly, and my love of satire would probably take over half the list. But, honestly, making time to make a list is something I don't want to do, I'm lazy like that, perhaps one day, until then, I'll continue to scan Boxall's list for inspiration, save myself a small chunk o' change and shake the dust off books I intended to read, but forgot I owned. [listology link via Book Slut]

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Fight Club In 30 Seconds (And reinacted by Bunnies)

Click to watch Tyler bunny (click pic to watch or click here)

I had a smidge of Bunny burnout, but I'm better now and all I have to say is..."bitch tits". Enjoy!

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Thursday, October 12, 2006
Plane Crazy

The good news is that the plane that hit the building in Manhattan wasn't terrorism, the bad news is that it was a Yankee. Normally, you won't find me sympathizing for the Yankees, at any given time. However, the circumstances of this event do call for sympathy as the man was just following his bliss and got a bliss-ter (heh) called death. My sympathy to his family and the flight instructor's family.

Before the events of 9-11, flying for me was a thrill. Not once did I allow my thoughts to think of terrorism or crashing. I was in a huge metal flying device and I didn't need to understand the physics of it all, I was in the clouds.

After 9-11, I thought my feelings would change and my neurotic nature would override any sensible thought, but that never happened. Honestly, I feel more at risk being poked and prodded by airport security not to mention the feeling of being exposed as they search my suitcase. I do understand why the have to do it, it's just that I know that my dainties don't have a cruel bone in them and if they had a bone of any kind in them, they're one bone ahead of me.

I would sooner fly a plane than drive a car, far less gridlock and less reason to shake the water bottle of shame (another story for another day) at any offender closing in on me, cutting me off, or dare to honk at the car I'm in. Flying defies what we were born to do, got feet? I truly understand why people choose to become pilots in the most romantic sense; the freedom, the sky, the clouds, the sheer exhilaration of being nearer to the stars. Defying gravity.

The passion that it takes to become a pilot is audacious at best, but life is short, and if you're not accustomed to following your bliss, your folly, you might never take chances that will change your life or in this case end your life. Keep in mind that death is a risk you take every time you wake up, so why not do something you love? And before you go on about me not following my own advice and say...learn to drive...I know how to drive, I passed driver's ed in high school. Sure, my instructor encouraged me to get a bus pass, but I passed and in all actuality you're all safer without me there to shake the water bottle of shame at you, which, come to think of it, would be far easier to do as a pilot, you don't have the 10 and 2 position to keep you from shaking the water bottle of shame at random birds or unruly cloud formations.

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Wednesday, October 11, 2006
And the hits just keep coming

A small multi-engine plane has hit a Manhattan residential building. They're calling it an accident, but NORAD says that jet fighters will be sent over certain US cities.
CNN link

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

There's not enough coffee for this shit

The first noise I heard this morning was that of my phone ringing. "Hello?" I croaked.

"Did I wake you up?? Good Lord woman it's almost 9 - get out of bed" she cackled. She being a former employee and current friend then asked a work question.

"What's the admin function to close the register?" she asked somewhat frantically. Briefly, I thought I was still working and that I'd over slept and then I saw the man-crotch out my window.

"Um, man-crotch alert!" I say.

"What? I don't have time for this, what's the admin code?" she said in a somewhat bitchy tone. I relayed the information she needed, I won't get paid and now there is a man's crotch out my bedroom window. :|

To be fair, the man was a roofer on a ladder and it was me who didn't close my blinds all the way. They are reroofing my building this week and I keep forgetting this, running into my bedroom to change clothes, rip off shirts...look out window...wave..."shit". They start every morning about eight a.m. and since I had a hell of a time getting to sleep last night, I tried to sleep in, but to no avail. Thanks to my former employee, the President talking shit on the tube and the huge man-crotch out my window today is surreal and it's only ten o' clock.

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Dick wears the pants

"I rather feel like expressing myself and I could certainly use a release" -Audrey Hepburn
My brain is verklempt. Odd, on a Tuesday as the world spins as per usual, I've got little to say, well except that Andy Dick is a twisted, talented, creepazoid and I like it.

[via slog]

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Monday, October 09, 2006
Boom Boom Out Go The Lights

Thanks North Korea! Thanks for the radiation, I've always wanted a third arm to shoot out my ass! And when children are born in North Korea, the children that will be the future of your country, don't mind the extra toes and limbs, well, if they get toes and limbs at all. I thought we learned our lesson, well, we kind of did, but still you persevere to safeguard your country of autotrons from....what? Invasion? Aliens? What? No, really, what?

I suspect this has something to do with your height, dude, it's so okay to be a short shit, I'm mean, you're breast level and that's a win/win (after a rohipinal cocktail, that is). Or perhaps it's a penis issue? You know, they have surgery for that now and with all your wisdumb and power I'd think a penis enlargement is just your cup of tea, or not. Whatever, chill out please. Thanks and have a super day!

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Sunday, October 08, 2006
Sunday Morning Comic

The Nietzsche Family Circus


Fun!
[via IW]

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Friday, October 06, 2006
"Let's Hug it out, bitch!"

I think the week should end on a hug, it's been a tough week for everyone (in the Republican party) and sometimes we all just need a hug xxxxxxx

[via JenG]

Have a wonderful weekend and remember this...if your toys come alive while your asleep, why couldn't your album collection? ;)

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Thursday, October 05, 2006
Sundown doesn't come soon enough, anywhere.

So, I'm out running errands, I picked up my new phone, a sweet lil' Razr rip off by Sanyo called the Katana. I choose the pink one as 10% of the proceeds go to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation, being as I know a handful of people who've had or are now currently dealing with the cancer, my friend Joan, my hair dresser Illayna, a couple of regular customers from the bookstore and my next door neighbor. 5 years ago I didn't know a soul who had it, now it's fricken' epidemic! I like to give where I can and hell, I got a flashy new phone out of the deal!

I milled around Target for awhile and purchased some movies; X-Men (so, excited to see being as I missed it in the theater), The Little Mermaid (My all time Disney fav) and Thank You For Smoking, just for that hint of satire my diet craves. After the Target episode, I saw Ivars, yum. What would be better than some salmon and chips? I walked up to the door, opened it and then I remembered I was fasting, fuck. I'm not going to complain, I'm doing it for a good cause, but sundown can't come soon enough. I'm sure that's what your average Darfurian thinks, "Oh, I can't wait for sundown so I can eat this beetle" damn.

We take so much for granted in this life and one day without the luxury of food is something I can do without. I've got a fancy new phone, movies to watch and a roof over my head. I feel safe most of the time, no matter the security level color. People in Darfur don't have 90% of what I have and trust me, I have little, so, no food until Sundown - I can do this! I'll just watch X-Men and forget my hunger pangs and no that's another luxury Darfurians don't have and it would probably scare them anyways, right?

Save Darfur

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Just Do it

Or not, the choice, as always, is yours.

Cooper @ Wonderland or Not reminds me to do things for the betterment of the World (kissing included), Thanks Cooper!!

Stand Against Women Stoned to Death
Oh Islam...come with us to the 21st Century, it's fun and there's chocolate, no need to keep stoning women to death, that is unless you start by stoning men for the same "crimes". I know you all have an abundance of rocks n' all, but perhaps you can build monuments or something, you silly savages. On a side note, I've never emailed an Ayatollah before, it was a hoot!

Fast today for Darfur! Well, it might be a little late for some of you, but I think I can do it and not only will I have supported Darfur, I will have given my abused colon a break. Honestly, it's the least I can do knowing that a good chunk of the population in Darfur will die trying to find food or water and the women and children raped in the process.

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Wednesday, October 04, 2006
The Breakfast Club



Dear American Citizens,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. And what we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain and an athlete, and a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Does that answer your question?
Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club


And in other news, FOX news continues on with their "Fair and Balanced" reporting by making the republican perv du jour into a DEMOCRAT!

"The O'Reilly Factor ran it in not one, but two segments and posted it three times." Wow, pretty fair and balanced with a smidge of fuckedupness if I say so myself.

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Jesus Walks

With the Bushmiester!

Must be nice. [via BWE]

Spewed by Theresa Z » » Link »

Monday, October 02, 2006
Gravity defied

She's not Wicked, she's just misunderstood. That's what I got from seeing Wicked this past Saturday. The musical differs greatly from Gregory McGuire's book, but according to Winnie "My So Called Life" Holzman, she wanted it be different, because the story isn't just about Elphaba the wicked witch of the west, but about Elphaba and Glinda's friendship - despite their obvious differences and passions, one's blonde and popular, the other is green and bookish.

Britney Spears was prompted to write her "Letter Of Truth" after seeing Wicked. Basically, she learned how to stand up for herself and by God, if she wants to be barefoot, pregnant and married to a greasy cad, she will be, y'all. As for myself, I find Wicked to be very inspiring, not just for young girls, but for anyone who hasn't quite yet grasped what it means to stand up for your convictions, to be independent, to be yourself without worrying about other peoples predjudices. Then again, my brain is a strange thing and I kind of festered on "...and monkeys might fly out of my butt" premise, which isn't what you might think. It's not that I thought Wicked was hooey, I just thought if monkeys did indeed fly out my ass, Elphaba, essentially an animal activist in her own right, would be there to guide the monkeys that did fly out my ass to freedom. And really, how selfish is it to keep flying monkeys in your bum, sometimes we're no different than the Wizard, selfish and controlling.

The Seattle production was brilliant, however after almost two weeks of performance's Shoshanna Bean's (Olympia native and the loverly Elphaba) voice cracked a bit and perhaps they were a bit exhausted as well. During Megan Hilty's (Bellevue native and the stunning Glinda the good) hysterical rendition of Popular, Shoshanna/Elphaba broke character slighty by not being able to control her laughter, it was a funny and honest moment that could easily be forgiven, because we laughed just as hard.

As Kermit the frog has stated, it's not easy being green and because "Elfie" was green, she scared people, they didn't want to understand her, because of their own fear of green flesh, but she is no different than you or I. That's what I love about Holzman's Wicked, we can't avoid politics and ultimately we're all good and evil when you get down to the bones of it and once we recognize that, our path in life become much clearer. Be yourself and be the best you can be, because "no wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down".

As for the Mariner game, we won it and it was awesome, if only for the fact that out all the 8 or 9 games I went to see this summer, I had only seen one win (against the Yankee's no less) prior to yesterday. So, to end the season with a win just made my weekend all the better.

My summer has finally ended a week into autumn, my creativity renewed and boundless, my body rested, yet, exhilerated. I don't feel compelled to write a "letter of truth" as Britney did after seeing Wicked, but it has reminded me to trust the insticnts within myself and fly. So, if you see a chubby redhead in the sky, don't fear me, I'm just busy showing off my talents to potential employers, I'll try to avoid flying over Dick Cheney, but I know someone (myself included) will eventually try to shoot me down, admittedly, chubby airborne redheads can be somewhat intimidating. Fear not, my intentions are good and although I march to the beat of a differnt drummer at times, the beat is good and easy to dance to, so don't hesitate to join me "as someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to fly" and you might enjoy it. I do, it makes me feel um...wicked. ;)

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