Misfit Toys? Back in my day I asked Santa for a Lazy Daisy doll, now it was really a radical idea making a doll you spank and put to sleep, but it was the 70's and spanking your child was all the rage then and it was the doll all little girls wanted. I got my doll that christmas I spanked her joyfully and put her down for naps mutiple times throughout my day without the fear of CPS knocking on the door. I also received Brandy...she was a teen doll with pre teen body (HWP & boobettes), glowing California tan and her hair grew to freakish lengths, good fun! Nowadays, the dolls I see in the store scare the shit out of me...Baby dolls have give way to more Barbies and other skanky looking teen dolls. Really, the only reason I think Baby dolls are not popular is because most 14 year olds have freinds with baby's, loverly thought. Anyhooooo, these damn dolls just gross me out...they all have these huge heads and their lips look like they've been sucking on the vacuum hose for a good 24 hours straight. Their hair is greasy looking and their bodies are teeney tiny stick things. Ganstah bitch Dolls only $17.99!!! Wow, I want one, I want the one with the scar and lives in the juvi facility, I understand she's the most popluar. Oh wait, I want the one that comes with her own lube, I think it's for hair styling I'm not quite clear on that yet. Big heads, tiny bodies, fat lips and greasey hair...charming. Rosie O' Donnell put out a fat lesbian doll a few years ago, that was scary. Pretty and soft has given way to reality based dolls. Do kids really want trampy looking dolls to cuddle, I mean why bring a lesbian doll into the mix, whatever will become of Ken??? Well of course we know the Ken and G.I. Joe get it on, blame it on Agent Orange, Joe got femme. They even have a UPS doll, a gorgeous man in shorts hung like a horse!!! Santa? How good do I have to be to get that doll?

Now that innocence is reserved to the 10 and under demographic, cute toys are fading. Furby's were the must have toy a few years ago, ageless and cute, and more importantly non threatening. They don't make you fear food or feel the need to suck on a vacuum for endless hours to attain the ever fashionable bee stung swollen lip look. Technology and current events unfortunately bleed into the trendy toy market and not only that, I recently saw Raygon, it's suppose to protect you from radiation, you can buy this 'supplement' at your local health food store on your way to buy the freaky dolls on Santa's list just in case Saddam drops a load on us. Merry Christmas!