Load Why is it......when you finally say the stuff you've been wanting to say.....you feel like utter complete shit? I try to be straight up at all times......but sometimes, when the feelings are confused and you fuel yer agnst with beer, as I'm known to do from time to time, the attack is relentless. I mean it's the simple things that make us happy, but damn if our minds don't get in our way. Ack! I just tossed and turned for the better part of the night because I couldn't deal with how harsh I was.....I can be a nasty bitch when I want to...but damn, I feel bad now......awful. I've got this thing where I shut people out....the whole FEAR gig going on here.....paging Dr. Freud......at 38 you'd think I'd get over it...but alas....here I am....still doing what I've been doing all this time.....not too progressive.

Anyhooo.....I've got loads of work to do today...just purchased my domain name...so um, I'll work on that and the painting...spending the day with my parents tomorrow at gift show in Seattle, that should be productive. I become quite the workaholic when I hide from the world but it keeps me focused. I like that. :oP~