Friday, March 12, 2004

Love asks little

until it sucks you dry. Courtney Love and the Loveslave camp have been asking a lot from their fans, do this, don't do that, can't you read the signs? Snarf, I don't get it anymore. In the early 90's and up through the mid 90's music was all about DIY (do it yourself, not rally the troupes for billboard rankings) mentality....I'm sorry the sales of her albums aren't what she expected, its a good album, but its not a great album and no matter how many times she's been arrested during the recording sessions, it doesn't make me want to celebrate her royal rock ass, it makes me want to smack the shit out her. Don't get me wrong, she can still howl, and has immense talent and God forgive me for putting her in a box, but woman, your coming up on 40, I struggle with that myself, how do act now? I know I can't party anymore, it hurts like a mutha fucker and takes three days to recover, in theory I should have a house and a family by now, I don't, but Courtney does and she's trying harder then fuck to lose what I would love to have, financial security, a home, and a child who adored me. My rebellion is basically spewing on the internet and making sure my Chuck Taylor's match my outfit, hers is a cocktail of un-prescribe pills and outrageous behavior, that risk of losing her own blood, Frances.

I liked the plush Celebrity Skin more than this album, It lacks soul, its like a sloppy love note to a lover that's had enough of the self depreciation and insecurities (not that I've been there, shoot me). Aging gracefully is not an easy task and as I stare at the white strip down the center of my crown and in dire need of a dye job, I just want to be myself, I still feel 25, but I'm not, nor is Ms. Love. When I act like a total cunt (pardon my abrasiveness) I expect to be confronted with healthy dose of critical feedback, which I take into consideration. I don't at all feel like I'm being boxed in. I'm passionate about my fluid beliefs and like feedback that leads to dialogue that can be at times cathartic.

It has been almost ten years since Kurt's suicide, and maybe Courtney is still licking those wounds, I would be too, more quietly, but I would be. Dismantling Hole was not the progressive move like it should have been, "Hole is a band" you once said [Options magazine 93'], your ego is getting the best of you Ms. Thang, eg: Dr. Cut-it-up-and- make-it- pretty, in the infamous words of my 'kiwi eyes' I say: Just be and let it all flow naturally. Ok, I'm done. Courtney will be all over the tube and the radio this next week, she'd like you to look at her. And that is my post as requested by the Loveslave team leader. I want to be the girl with the most cake too, but I'm afraid that the carbs involved would set my weight back by a month. Rock on Courtney Love, but don't shove your shit down our throats, at my age shit is hard to digest. xoxo