Wednesday, April 07, 2004

American Midol, errrr Idol

Oy, Simon likened last nights Idol to really bad karaoke and he was being nice. Each performance was getting progressively worse and I almost had to jab a knitting needle in my eye just to ease the pain brought on by hearing the relentless out of tune warbling coming from the t.v., I guess I could have changed the channel, but whatever would I spew about today? Sir Elton John's songs were the focus and sadly, the victim.
The key word of the eveing was 'pitchy' that is until George "Long ass Legs" Huff came out and rocked the house with one of my personal favorites "Take Me to the Pilot".

As a little girl in the 70's when I was a wee chunk 'o Cupieness, I enjoyed retrieving my mothers hugeass sun glasses from her purse, going to the kids bathroom and locking the doors for complete privacy before my performance. Keep in mind that Elton John was the shizznit back then and he was the pinball wizard and all, anyhoo, back to the show....[curtain rises] Standing in front of the bathroom mirror with pink Avon hairbrush in hand it worked as microphone in that particular performance hall, with a determined *Supahstar* attitude and I'd start singing:

Through a glass eye your throne
Is the one danger zone
Take me to the pilot for control
Take me to the pilot of your soul
<--I had no idea what that meant, but it sounded so damn cool.

Take me to the pilot< hair flip >
Lead me through the chamber < finger snap >
Take me to the pilot
I am but a stranger
< hand clap, handling the mic just so as not to chip the imaginary long painted nails ala' Cher >

After finishing the set (I wouldn't do encores until I was about 13 or so), I would put the record sleeve with lyrics back into to the album jacket, sun glasses back in purse and then go outside and glean Martha Stewart's militant like attitude and make sumptuous mud pies decorated with flowers shipped in from exotic regions (the front yard).

At this point, George Huff is the Idol, he sang his heart out, he got the audience out of their seats, he chose a great song for himself, a song that brought me back to my childhood bathroom venue and that is what a great song and a great singer can do.