"In some Greek theater, they actually hit each other with leather phalluses."
Eddie Schmidt, Co-author, The Finger: The Comprehensive Guide To Flipping Off
And hence the beginnings of sun block with spf 15. I'm saluting my computer right now with the very digit of subject in this informative new book. I haven't been at
all to interested into looking into the book until now as I've been flippin' the bird at my computer for a week now and how does the computer react? "A Fatal Exception has Occured", finger raised, bird flipped. Without reading the book my thoughts wander to the orgin of the 'flippin' the bird' and in my minds eye I envision chickadee's being flung towards the bad neighbor, or a turkey being catapulted towards an opposing army. Lo, those many years ago when flippin' the bird was ones only means of retribution...DUN..Dun...dunnn...the first animal activist surfaced and from that point on, one raises their middle finger, a kind of hand jive if you will, to offend your offender.
It works far better than the usual...fuck you, NO, fuck YOU, I beg your pardon sir, but Fucketh ye more. Fuck off. Sure buddy, but if I fuck off then perhaps you may want to FUCK OFF more, maybe. Perhaps Dick Cheney would have better off to give the one finger salute to Senator Patrick Leahy than to start the ol' Fuck You, Fuck you more argument or maybe he just left his 'leather phallus' at home.
And what of the threat of "Fuck Off"? Fuck off you ninny! C'mon, we all know ninny's are quite found of fucking, so where is the threat? I can only assume when someone tells someone to "Fuck Off" it's because of a fornication experience gone awry and they want the person there shouting at to experience the hell that was last night? Someone cuts you off on the highway and instead of the risk of being shot at for flipping them off,you shout, FUCK YOU!!!! All the while, thinking of the premature ejaculation episode of 1983. My mind is overwhelmed with all this aggression, I know I’ll be able to find the answers to this mental quandary when I finally read The Anatomy Of Swearing. I’ll have all the answers then and when I do, I’ll spew.
PS: After a series of reboots and reconnections and yet another 'Fatal Exception' I'll let this piece of shit Compaq rest now (flips off the computer, the fucker). Until the next spew, I bid you adieu! Snarf!
