Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Schmoozday Heart Ons

Man, oh man, I want whatever Tom Cruise sprinkled over his Wheaties yesterday. I watched the Oprah Show yesterday and after I removed the knitting needles from my eye sockets, I read that Tom is pulling a full out assault Bennifer style, don't make the public hate on you Tomie. You'd think Tom was the first person to ever fall in love, stop the PR assault, augh!!! Really, we're so freakin' happy your getting laid, so stf-up already, christ.

The full moon worked its magic on the Senate yesterday, I think they called it "compromise". Good for them, they did what their payed to do, imagine that. Now it will take "extraordinary circumstances" to incite a filibuster, we have been warned.

Why I heart on Howard Dean:
MR. RUSSERT: So you will not retract or apologize your comments about Tom DeLay?

DR. DEAN: Absolutely not

Why I heart blogging:
Your blog is so stupid Rosie O?Donell made fun of it in free verse on her blog.

Your blog is like a sausage patty: no links.

Your blog is so boring Nick Denton wants to pay you $1000 a month not to write.

Your blog is like a pedestrian walkway: no traffic

(Note: I have yet to receive my check from Jumping-With-Sharks Nick Denton, cash will suffice, thanks.)

Why I heart American Idol, other than Simon's snarky-makeagirlgointoheat-wit:
Bo Bice (lick Bo Bice)!
Photo pilfered from Stereogum
No, their not my breasts, they belong to Lindsay Lohan 2007, and Lindsay, for the love of fuck, eat something, I'll send a box of Ding-Dong's, a bottle of Cheez Wiz, anything you name it, I'll send it. And Lindsay deary, keep in mind, some of us were never meant to be blond, ever, ew. Your colorist should be fired, strung up by their private parts and waxed from head to toe. *Giggle Puke*