Thursday, September 08, 2005

Things Up The Ying Yang

Dude, you've got some ying in my yang! Dude, your yang is all up in my ying, chill! Hey, let's get Mikey he'll eat anything.

Hello people, did you lose your job because of Katrina? Are you looking for a way to feed your family Raman noodles on the camping stove outside of the tent your living in? Are you down and out and looking for a shit payin' job to get by in life, well President Bush is making that a possibility.
President Bush issued an executive order Thursday allowing federal contractors rebuilding in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to pay below the prevailing wage.

Now of course Halliburton will have the premo paying jobs, but don't count on working for them bitches, because that would disrupt the fucking poverty base and God knows we can't have that.
The Food Erotic
The Salad Man writes about his New Orleans food orgy:
Then for the best flavor, he advised squeezing the crawfish's head while sucking all the juices from inside. That's where the seasoning was hiding. One firm slurp and the spice would warm the tongue and the back of the throat.

I'm not sure if I'm horny or hungry, it's usually the latter, but methinks I got girlie boner reading that. Hmmmm...
Speaking of girlie boners food, Jeff also interviewed the Jerry part of Ben & Jerry's, excuse my quiver...*gah*..


Author Max Barry is officially a father now, bless his heart.
Here's what has surprised me so far about being a parent:

The amount of time I spend staring at her butt. I mean, not just from a distance. Up close and personal. Usually wiping things off it. And I realize that my parents must have spent plenty of time staring at my butt. That's a little disconcerting

Life is good, congratulations Mr.Barry!


You can check in but you can't check out, that is, not without the right medication.

Lizzie Spurnick aka OLD HAG, one of my favorite literary blogwhores, has a new book of Poetry called "Check In" available now at Caketrain, it's only $8 saki-saki! (Eric Cartman as an asian hooker, I can't hep myself...*twitch*) Anyhoo, try it you might like it, there's a PDF sample. I'm not one for poetry, it's like cleaning up after masturbating, a solitary experience that very few understand or want to understand let alone share, but I'll give it shot, if only to keep the creative spirit alive and support a fellow artist.


I had a finger in my ass today, my doctor says my ass is fine, we're working on all the bullshit involved with bad back/bad hips, peri-menopause (read: my uterus is falling and can't get up) I get the glory that is my first mammogram soon, yeah baby, squish me boobie, make me whole again...ugh, can't wait. The good news is the anti-biotic for the epic sinus infection, the happy pills for the occasional anxiety attacks brought on by the fact that my little bookstore is being eaten up by it's larger, fat, profit-sucking sister, but - I still have to meet all expectations and standards given to me AND demand my employee's to stay and not be bitter that their livelihood is be taken from them, be productive and help me meet the fucking expectations and standards, my ass is raw, but, my shithole is fine, thanks.

The bad news, I was told to lose a chunk of weight or name it and adopt it out if I didn't want to take care of it. Yoga and Pilates was suggested, I told the doctor I do them every once in a month or so, she suggested a class. An exercise class would mean socialization, I asked her to stick her finger in my ass again. I promised a more diligent exercise regime; I'll dust off the DVD's's and deal with the chub. Also, the good doc recommended I continue smoking until after the store closes, there are only so many happy pills a person should take at any given time, so the smoking continues until early next year it's a happy/sad situation, for me at least. So, to my endearing family and extraordinarily persistent nieces Sara and Hanna, bare with my fat ass habits for another few months and I promise I'll quit, I may fail, God knows I'm good at that, but it will be my utmost promise to you all and myself that I will stop. I'm mean, the world needs my bitter rage, don't ya think?

Too much info Cupie? I scoff, I'm all about too much information....


Dale Chihuly has a new exhibt at The Kew in England, if you live there, go. That is all.


Sophie, my rather large-ish Siamese, brought me some love today, in the shape of a dead bird, fuck. I was horrified. I've had her a few years and have never had the pleasure of such a gift. She laid it down in front of me and then picked it up again, I sprayed her with water until she took it outside again and dropped it on the patio, looking at me like I was an idiot, she came back in and I immediately went out and covered it with a planter. Now, like any good parent I thanked her profusely for such a gift, what a good kitty, such SKILL, you are AWESOME! I petted her, she purred and then I took care of the situation, I gave the birdy back to the earth, I fed both my cats a nice little can of food, meat, ah.

Sometimes I forget they are actual animals, my cats, they hunt, they are not human, but animal, but I love them like I would another person, they bring me joy, they comfort me when I have no happy pills. I can't imagine what I'd do without their unconditional love. They're part of my life, they sleep next to me, on me, they are part of me. I cannot image the ache in the hearts of the people that had to leave their beloved pets behind in the Hurricane Zone. I saw a news clip of a beautiful Golden Retriever sitting on the fucking roof of his owner's home, surrounded by water, his soulful eyes watching and waiting for his master to return, it ripped my fucking heart out and that image will stay with me forever. I'm more than willing to give to the appropriate charities that deal with the animals, it will have to wait until next week, the finger in the ass and the meds that followed took my money this week, but next week for sure, Christ, I'd adopt them all if I could, but I can only manage the two cats, one of which showed her love with a bird, tragic and beautiful, both of which without there is not life.

/end things up the ying yang.