What, Where, Why & How the hell do I turn this thing off?

Nick & Jessica, over? Tom & Katie, pregnant or alien invasion? Hurricanes, tsunamis, Harriet Mier, earthquakes, Paris Hilton, Govenators? "Free people will own the future." but it will cost your ass --Presidential speech that I didn't know had taken place because I was entirely to distracted by Lindsay "Wrecking Crew" Lohan trashing her beemer, the silly tart. Um...when I blew my nose this morning, my sinus cavity sent out an Amber Alert for it's missing snot. Time for work, more work, work...bleeberschnitzergulp.