Snootch to the um...nooch or Jay & Silent Bob: A Love Story

Have I ever mentioned the level of highbrow entertainment that this sophisticated blogger enjoys? No? Alrighty then:

Okay, I admit that's it's pretty fucking juvenile of me to want to see this movie, but ya know, you only live once and I like to laugh my ass off as often as possible (as my ass is a bit ample as of late), it helps to ward off the horrors of reality (read: Bush Co.) and I like it.

Kevin Smith, in my opinion, is a brilliant s.o.b, he brought us the awesome power that are Silent Bob & Jay, fun movies like Clerks, Chasing Amy, Jay & Silent Bob Strike back, Jersey Girl (anything with George Carlin can't be that bad) and lest we forget, one of my all-time favorites Dogma. I suspect that author Dan Brown was inspired to write the Da Vinci Code after watching Dogma, he must have been high or something, but that's what I think, screw the Holy Blood, Holy Grail bitches. And really, is it wrong to imagine that in that glass pyramid at the Lourve, that according to Mr. Brown's fictionalized account in the Da Vinci Code, holds the remains of that God fearing slut Mary Magdalene, might actually hold a copy of Dogma?

At my age, I should be done with potty humor, but it's like crack to me, although I must admit that I did watch the Aristocrats (sophisticated lowbrow humor?) and turned it off mid way because it totally grossed me out, I mean, there is just some shit that shouldn't be joked about in this day and age, ew. However, I do love the not-so-subtle stoner humor of Silent Bob & Jay and any movie that they're in, probably because of their undying friendship in the movies and in real life. Their friendship is one of the best examples of unconditional love that I've ever seen.

A few years ago I watched An Evening With Kevin Smith and was astonished at how point blank he was about Jason Mewes' (Jay) heroin addiction and only when Mewes got clean and sober would Kevin consider another Silent Bob & Jay movie. Well, Kevin did stick by his "hetero lifemate" and the result is a healthy Mewes, buuuunnng!

Kevin did chronicle the drama of loving an addict on his journal My Boring Ass Life it's a compelling must read for anyone who has or is loving an addict now. Sobriety can change your life and the good news is is that in August '06 Clerks II will be released.
You can read Me & My Shadow here:

Part 1 - "Since the gossip sites have seen fit to print only the portion of the Jason Mewes story I told at UPenn (that portion being what said sites seem to feel is the only interesting aspect of Mewes' life), I figured why not put the whole tale of Jason's battle with drug addiction into print here, where folks can get a better idea of who Jason truly is and maybe why he fell victim to heroin abuse in the first place. I'm thinking it's gonna be at least a four-parter, and I'm hoping to wrap it up by April 6th, the day Mewes celebrates his "Sober Birthday", when Jay will mark his third straight year of living completely drug and alcohol free.

At the least, it's a more comprehensive profile at a guy who's accomplished a lot more than celebrity bathroom sex; at the most, it's an ode to a very unlikely hero of mine and a man I love (in a decidedly hetero way)."

Part II - "How Mewes arrived at "Snootchie Bootchies" a nonsensical utterance of which he is the sole author is a fascinating study in linguistics."

Part III - "I swear, Moves. I was taking a shit and reading comics."

Part IV - "Le junkie! Le junkie!"

Part V - "The next time I saw him was at Harley's christening, the weekend "Dogma" was released theatrically. He didn't stick around at the party very long, and it was clear that his mind was elsewhere."

Part VI - "FUCK YOU, YOU JUNKIE-JERKOFF!" Yes - I was so fed up with him that I busted an alliterative. "YOU JUST SIT AROUND AND CRY ABOUT YOUR FUCKING PILLS WHEN EVERYONE'S JUST TRYING TO KEEP YOUR DUMB ASS ALIVE! BE A FUCKING MAN AND GROW UP ALREADY!"

Part VII - ""Oh my God"" she uttered from the bed, where she was leafing through the magazine.
"What's the matter," I queried.
"I think something's happened to Mewes."

She pointed to a small, sidebar feature in the magazine. It was about Mewes, who'd been reported missing for months and presumed dead."

Part VIII - "He might as well have said "Moves, guess what? I've always secretly been Jesus Christ Himself, and I've decided to head back home to be with my Heavenly Father, so I'm busting out The Rapture a bit early. Start praying you don't get 'Left Behind', sir. Also, I'm gay.""

Part IX: The Conclusion - ""Who is Nicole Richie?" I was blithely unaware, at that point, of "The Simple Life".
"Lionel Richie's daughter," Mewes offered.
"And you fucked her?"
"She fucked ME, sir. She just pulled me into a bathroom stall and fucked me. It was weird."
"Had you ever even met her before?"
"Once or twice. Through Kim Stewart."
"Rod Stewart's daughter."
"Yeah."
"What's with all the kids of 80's pop icons digging on you?"
"Because they know The Mewes is long, and he's strong, and he's down to get the friction on."
"See? There ARE benefits to staying clean."

Three years sober (Congratulations!) acting once more and sex with skinny socialites in denial are what Mewes is now, I admire the dude for staying clean in the realm of Hollyweird. Also, I am impressed that both Smith and Mewes learned one of the hardest words to utter in any language, "NO" it saved their friendship and Mewes' life. Mostly, I can't wait to see Clerks II so that I can get on with my crushin' on both Jay & Silent Bob. Buuuuuuuuuuung!

The moral of this story is LOVE and that how if you love enough, with a dash of help from that fickle bitch Lady Luck, assorted rehab facilities, and unwavering dedication, love always wins out.
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My Space Link: Clerks II this leads to other links, so on and so on. Funny stuff.

You Tube it, you brought it.
Jay gets his groove on.

Kevin Smith on Clerks II trainwrecks.

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Heroin Addiction help links:
heroin Addiction.com, What's the best treatment for heroin addiction?, Heroin, Narcotics Anonymous.

Have a loverly day and Snoooooooooooooooootch to the noooooooooooooooooch! Bung.