Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Spew It Forward Miss South Carolina Style

"I believe that children are the future...teach them well and let them lead the way..." OR not..yikes.

Alrighty then, to be fair I was once interviewed by the local media when the sequel to "Gone With Wind" came out....and you know what? It sounded exactly like what Miss South Carolina said, I may even have had an Osama reference as well, sure it was 1995, but wtf, I think I was speaking in tongues that day (much to the dismay of the reporter). Shit happens, but holymudderofgawd, that girl sounded like Britney Speares hashing out current events whilst imbibing the fuck out of a Jager bottle.

It's late and again I apologize for not updating this more often as Bush's baked beans seem to dropping like flies. Bush's brain, gone. Gonzales made a not so speedy exit. It's a pathetic state of government. Yes, things are happening as they should, perhaps a bit too late, but shit is going down!

My job, well, I love the job, can't say the same for the state of the company or the General Manager (straight up evil, bi-polar and downright CRUEL) I won't go into details as I'd like to keep the job and I'm being trained to be a General Manager (taking over for evil, it can only go up from here), but um...fuckmewithagoddamned fork! This job is truly testing my will to continue working (checks MegaMillions ticket, *shakes head*). 7 months in my new home and I've still got boxes that need unpacking because I work 50 - 60+ hours a week, every week (I'm a manager and I'm managing to wither, mostly). "Your lucky, I could schedule you 56 hours a week like some GM's" spake evil.

Oh really?

Some days, I think if I say or do the right thing I'll get a promotion to Vice President of Whatchamacallits, it's what my company is doing at present, relieving stores of "full timers" and promoting every Tom, Dick and Harry to VP status, it's truly unfucking believable, dissent is as rampant as is the rash on my blistered and weary ass. I said I'd give it a year and I've been working closely with the DM and HR to alieve some of the irrational happenings and bullshit (not an easy position and unlikely to be found in the Kama Sutra), but Jesus's been difficult. Whatever...I'm following my bliss(ter?)...right? Ugh.

So anyhoo, Miss South Carolina, you sounded like a complete fucking moron, not to worry, the President sounds that way most days and I too have babbled shit like know...South Africa n' shit, education and Osama. You'll get recognition and many a Google hit and as for me, I'll get another IRS audit for judging the uber pathetic excuse for a commander of chief (the bitch still doth suck...BONG! Another $1000 to the IRS...mmmkay..), I'll get retribution from evil GM for saying she's twisted and evil. I'm just straight up fucked, God Bless Americanz and um ...South America, education and um, I'm hungry...what?...does this dress make me look like a prom queen? No? My ass is fat? Somebody put a fucking tiara on my head now! Fuck.

Did any of this make sense? What the hoopy shmoopy ploopy!!!