This week will be my week from hell. I've got jewlery to finish, a calendar store to open, human resources crap to deal with, shipments...etc. K, shoot me now...at least it should fly by...I'll come up with something definately more informative at work...Oh...goody, looks like rain outside...faboo.

Yesterday I pissed off 4 or more aarpp card carrying women authors, I received a shipment of glass fish, we don't sell glass fish at the book store! I thouroughly pissed off the phone man, who was a week early for an install on a store i have yet to take ownership of. I cursed like a raving lunatic with tourettes for the majority of the day. I am a manager. I'm quite sure I'll have more days like these in the forthcoming weeks, but I'm working on staying organized and keeping abreast of all impending snafu's. Expect the unexpected!!! ARRRrrrRRgh. SpLaT! Snarf. Alrighty, all better. Gosh, I'm thinking It would be super if you could buy chewable valium over the counter.

I'm attracted to assholes, I admit it! I enjoy a cocky self assured, flaming lump of testosterone with a great sense of humor, irony, sarcasm and wit. I find it amusing and challenging and it makes life a bit more interesting. I have male friends that reflect those qualities, I listen to freakin Howard Stern in the morning! These guys piss people off just for folly, and god damn if its not funny. Few women can pull off such feats....Madonna is good at it, hell even Sandra Bernhard. But alas tis a small group of women. Ego's such as these, make soceity edgy and defensive and thats alrighty with me...keep the masses on their toes, makes them think for one god damned minute of their simple lives. These personalities are the electricity our days lack at times. I salute all the assholes good and bad. Either way you look at them, they give good *laugh*

Stephen King releases his much anticipated "From a Buick 8" today. I read an interview with Mr. King yesterday in the current issue of entertainment weekly, apparently this article had pissed off a few of my employees, so I gave it look. Basically he comes off as a tired, cocky artist, chock full of cynism, and bitterness towards celebrity. In his ranting against the pros and cons of his celebrity he made the announcement that many people have dreaded: Mr King plans to retire from publishing, hell its his choice, its obvious the man doesn't need the money and with his new book, he feels that he has reached a point of saturation as far as ideas are concerned (eg: Christine). A graceful bow out should be respected. There are plenty of books in that genre to be read, its just a matter of picking up the books and reading the back or judging it by its cover whatever it takes. Let the man retire, hell VC Andrews is dead and her books have been coming out bi on a monthly basis for years since her demise! Stephen King is truly a master of the mind tweak, and he didn't say Richard Bachman or any other psuedoname of his rendering would stop publishing, just good Ol' Stephen King. When you get down to it Mr. King is just saying "Let them eat cake".

Fractals, yes I'm going to start making some, groovy visuals of my creation. So not only am I trying to make a website that reflects who and what I am, crazy as that may be, I'm going to attempt mastering fractals. Hell, its got to be easier then picking the winning football teams in my lil Fantasy Football league ( I sucked the big one for week 3, sorry wee! *splat*). I truly want to learn so much in my brief time here, that it would probably be more benefical to focus on one thing. But, screw dat sheeot, the more pots I have my fingers in, the more my hunger for learning is satiated. I'm currently designing some new designs for my beadwork...Art Walk in Olympia is October 4th, I don't think I can make the event, but I will send the new works for my Mom to display in her store. Creating is my life, stifle not the creator, let them roam or they go splat and that in itself is a creation. woo!

It's difficult mastering health, developing a regime that is worthy of repeated discipline is exhausting!!! I think about what I can eat and when I can eat, and if I eat a wee bit too much then I promise myself, I'll walk it off. Of course I forget to walk it off, maybe it's just the fear of feeling the jiggly action as my body reacts to physical activities. All I really want in life in a flat tummy and thighs that won't set me on fire due to the excessive rubbing against each other. I don't think thats too much to ask for in life..eh?
Oh well, tommorrows another day and that means breakfast in a few hours. hehe.

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody.....yeah...saturday's woohooo...snot that I want somebody. I've admitted to my own loverly intimacy issues, and I'm good with that. Life is funny and me go HAHA...mostly my goal as of late is my health. My fricken Doctor has asked that I cut out the following: Chocolate (she must die), Caffine (she will die) and Red Wine (I'll switch to white), in doing this my health will improve, see...I'm a woman with Fribroid tumors...neato eh? Not that I asked for them, they came univited, a harsh reality of my age and that fact I haven't produced spawn. Anyhoo, this health shit is really something, I want to live out my respective life span but damn, I have to give up smoking, coffee and chocolate???? It's cruel me thinks. But I'm all for a little good health, to make the long haul less horrendeous!!! Always the optimist me is...LOL...fuggit.

"GIRL!!!....I be humping me sum squirrels tah git tew da wood...mmhmmm" referring to the quiet, wooded and costly Seattle suburb of Lynnwood. This is what my seat partner on the Metro vented about this morning. Now of course she was talking OVER me to her friend, I was lodged betwixed the two young black women, screamed inwardly to get to my stop. They paid no attention to my existence and complained of how 'ghetto' Federal Way was getting and how life would be easier in Kent or anyother place on the east side of Pac Hwy, 99, Aurora Ave., and how just getting an apartment away from the aforementioned Hwy would make life much easier. They laughed and joked for my entire 5 minute bus ride and I was their invisible white chick in the middle. I was impressed that these young women wanted to better themselves and their surroundings and I thought to myself ....*you go girls* (weak attempt @ hip culture vibe). As I got off the bus at my destination, I reflected on my humble exsistence, I'm employed, I have a nice lil apartment with all the ammenities and enough clothing to dress most 3rd world countries. I'm blessed, and damn if I didn't work hard to get these blessings!! Seattle's growth these past few years has been overwhelming and the cost of living is huge, just today, two years after the begining of all the Dot.bombs, it was announced that Washington has the highest unemployment (7+%) in the country. It's getting rough out there. And I was proud to be sitting inbetween these women who wanted a better existence away from my um...ghetto....because....in times like these...sometimes you have to hump a squirrel or two to get what you need in order better yourself, PETA be damned!

I want to think I had a good day today, so I will think that. Its not that I didn't have a good day...its just that it was a so so day. A day of no highs and no lows, that in itself should be considered a good day, but god knows that there is always a but!!! I could remove myself from my computer and try and make a better day of it. But that would consist of me removing my ass (or butt) from this here computer chair. So I think I'll just surrender to a so so day. *Yawn*

I want to thank my mother today, because she gave me a love for the classics and all literature. She forced us to watch TV movies that she thought we would appreciateand learn from eg: Roots, Count Of Monte Cristo, Cleopatra, etc. This prompted us to find out more and why. Why one bitch would test her mind against the warriors of her time, why one persecuted because he trusted his superior's (Napolean)task, and suffered the wrath of that trust and chose to seek redemption through education. Thanks Mom! Without your want of success we would have none. Narily a penny to her name she would pack us up ( in a CHEVY Vega no less) and would take us to the mountains, we learned to appreciate *outside* and why frogs dig the double decker pose ;). My mother nourished the desire to learn how things work, why we exist, and why we should and need to use the globbiness glob of grey matter. Thanks!

As it should be and as it will always remain....I am my own worst enemy. I'm my harshest critic and I strive to be nothing less then great, and damn if I don't keep getting in my way. Years have gone to waste and for that now I repent on that sin alone.....fear of myself and my surroundings. Lately, I have been striving for a better reality outside of my dreams. Lately, I have been succeeding in my goals a little at a time....and the more I make this reality come to fruition, the stronger I become. Walk the talk Ms Thang...and they will follow. Now the question remains....how much do I want or need.....*they*....as much as *they* need me. I'm still a kooky ol' fag hag tho...golly! ;)

I come in peace. I am not a hero, at least in the eyes of the public. I am a hero to who ever may need it. Today, September 11, 2002 is a day of renewal.
I've mourned, I've been pissed to all ends, I pray that we overcome our weaknesses and embrace our strengths. I wish the world could be as one. But what is Light without darkness? What is Evil without Good? We are the storytellers, we are the representives of our exsistence, we choose the ending, or we create a new begining. Our choices reflect our all. Choose knowingly and trust your path. Peace.

Fantasy Football~The joys of picking the winners for team point accumilation...**sigh**, I've lost sight of my love for football when the Hawks couldn't see fit to get beyond the regular season. So needless to say my intrest waned to nothingness and baseball become forefront in my attentions of the sport kind. I don't want to let my team down so I guess I gotta read up on the shit and make better picks! Why isn't there a Fantasy Tennis or Fantasy golf??? Less bullshit to contend with, but I guess it would be a tad boring. So, inorder not appear foolish, I will a team player, its all about the team! Go team go, I love a good win...yeah thats the ticket.

I've just returned home from the Gorge in George Wa....I went to help my brother celebrate his 40th bday and watch the Dave Matthews band. I totally enjoyed the whole experience and um...all the festivities around it. I need to shower now as I haven't in a few days and just the thrill of pissing in my own pot is wonderful, honey buckets are hideous! Oh yes, and tonight, I sleep in my own bed...not the hard ass ground, my comfy bed! Ack.......splat, snarf!

I am so not a morning person. I want to be to a cheery up with people kinda morning person, really I do... I stumble to the kitchen to make my coffee, this is now a habit and could preform this task in a coma. Then I boot up the computer and proceed with the heavy handed task of dumping the spam from my mailbox, mostly porn and I'm quite thrilled to learn I can enlarge my penis (note to self: grow a penis). After all my porn...errr spam has been deleted, I'm left with one or two personal emails from friends or family, which I try to reply to in an upbeat manner, except for that one week of the month when I rage on even the simplest of *hello*. Hello? yeah yeah, I'm bloated and my breasts feel like their gonna explode!! Hello, my ass. Mornings are a reminder, theres shit to be done, I pour my coffee, surf the web, catch up on the news and world events, chat a bit, listen to Katie, Matt and Al being oh so witty and all the while the heaviest decision ways heavily on my mind. What will I wear today and do I have the shoes to match?
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I am not an American Idol. I am not Best New Artist. I am not Miss Conginiatilty. I am not what you want me to be. I am what I want to be, I am overopinionated, neurotic, unstable, creative, fully clothed (now)...and I'm just a god damned geek....LOVE me or not....I ate paste as a child.

Working in retail can send a reasonable person over the edge. Welcome to the edge. What a complete joy it has become to wait hand and foot on the ignorant masses, They want it NOW....and of course service with a smile is mandatory. In these times we can use all the customer support as possible, but at what cost?? I listen to a woman rant and rave over my employees reaction to her child spilling yogurt all over the carpets of my Book Store, she wanted my employee fired, I refused to fire my employee who just received a huge Customer Service Award. So, she asked for my bosses number all the while insisted we drove her child to tears...of course grandma was pushing the child towards us making her apologize! The whole situation was extreme bullshit. Anyhoo, she continued to yell at me, I camly gave her my bosses number and thought to myself, why in fuck would you give a child yogurt in a book store? Her embarrassment could cost me an employee? It better not, I'll get all medieval on everyone if that happen. I sell books, manage employee and appease the customers and my bosses.....I don't need a cultured dairy product to make my life hell...hmmm I'm um...hungry. cya

Laborious Repose

Labor day, of day of unrest me thinks. On this day that we attempt a blissful block of time reserved for some well deserved rest, we focus souly on the agenda of our lives and goals....(sweating). A block of time to refresh the mind, relax and mingle with friends and family. I Scoff at the supreme bullshit behind that thought process. I have worked my chubby buttocks off, catching up on reading material, organising, sorting and being oh so efficient. All the while I listen to the sardonic musings of David Sedaris...I want him, twould be just like me to want what I can't have, but I embrass his worldly sarcasims, I adore reality checks so long as they don't bounce, ya know! ; ) I would like to suggest to him that he become my bitch if at possible. I can only imagine a truly dysfunctional affair with complete and uncompromising love. Gay Men, how I do adore the noncommital adoration. ***sigh*** I sit staring in my laborious repose, sweat trickling down my cheek, and think to myself..."I'm a fag hag".

Is it me? Or is it my Blog?

Here it is....my little romp into the Blog revolution. I don't feel any different, nor do I sense an impending dose of enlightenment. My online life has blossomed to this....I Blog, therefore I am. Its Sunday, I'm not a huge fan of this day as it just seems a bit askew. Masses of humanity milling about trying to prepare for the new work week. I try to work on Sundays at the bookstore mainly due to the fact people on full on pyscho and in dire need of attitude correction, I get less customer complaints if I work this day...My customer service skills are very straight forward and to the point! And my humor can turn around the most belligerent of customers (sometimes..heh). Anyhoo, I hate Sundays. Peace!