So, I'm at Starbuck's getting my ever-thrilling 'grande decaf drip' when I hear....THud, thwapt and WhoooOOsh. I turn around and see two gentlemen haulin' ass out of the mall....followed by a very apprehensive and nervous looking mall security guard, of course I encouraged the poor fella...I shouted, "jesus christ man, run the fuck faster if you wanna catch them!"....then I turned around got my bagel and went to work...la~di~da. When I saw my friend working the information counter I went in pursuit of 'information'. Apparently, the jewelry store located across from the bookstore, experienced an armed robbery. Lucky me, witnessing their escape, joy. So, needless to say my morning was consumed with making statements to the police and mall security. It's nice to be needed.....for the love of God, shoot me. ty. I told the nice officer lady that I didn't think I'd be able to pick him out of a line up, only seeing one of the guys profiles and red and white football jersey.....remember, I heard a woooosh, those mother fuckers were jammin..........wooooooooooooosh. God damn craziness I tell ya.......I love that mall! Ting A Ling!
The mall, in a suburb turned edge-city of Seattle, is currently undergoing a remodel, and apparently that deems the mall as an easy target for a healthy forward approach to madness and mayhem. One gang shooting back in 93' and the next thing you know it's a freakin' urban myth in the making. My mall isn't just a place of commerce, it's a god damned tourist stop and if your touring and or shopping here on the right day, albeit with a fashionable bullet-proof vest, you can get the "Yo, I Survived the Fucking Ghetto Mall, sssup wif dat, yo." t-shirt on sale.
In the past two weeks I've seen....two shop lifting white chicks get their sorry fat asses busted....LOL..one of the imbeciles wouldn't do what one officer asked of her and she kept getting tasered......which is really odd to watch....convulsing white trash getting some hard earned comeuppance. There was blood and paramedic's, hand cuffs and tasers, wooo hooo! Also, the other day a young pigeon was busted for trying to use a counterfeit traveler's cheque....once in my store, once in FYE and once at the Sports Store next to mine. Another statement was given, oy and another day filled with desperate ghetto behavior.......This is all Ann Coulter's fault, I'm sure of it.
Shirt & Shoes required.
Now accepting applications.
Inquire within.
