They say that life begins at 40 for women. I'm good with that and its about fucking time. You think you know everything in your 20's, but ya don't. You kinda have a grasp on things in your 30's, but you still feel, well, in your 30's. Today I enter the early years of middle age. Born in 1964, the tale of the Boomer Generation, the beginning of the Generation X, the end result is that I'm apathetic with a solid work ethic. I may not be rich, but I have a great family, good friends and I work at a job I love, not so bad.
I've been playing down the whole milestone aspect of today, declining a big party and opting for more intimate dinners with friends and family. When I hit 50 I expect a huge party that would put Oprah's to shame, but for now I just want to gracefully enter another decade of life. In print I will remain 39 for aesthetic purposes, the world embraces youth & beauty like a drug the silly fools, but if you were to ask my age I'll proudly state that I'm 40.
Aging hasn't been a joyride, the drama of the first gray pubic hair was enough to send me into a week long depression, I thought it was a thread from my Lady Jockey's and pulled it, ow....gasp and wtf?....(they really should tell you that shit), but now that I'm at the big 4-0 its easier to accept them. I expect great things in my 40's, I expect to date Ashton Kutcher anytime now and I'm really looking forward to the power orgasms they say come with this age. Submit all applictions to the email in the left column...lol...or not.
I did have a minor panic attack last night, fearing that my cats would suffocate me and I'd die in my sleep and wouldn't see this day at all, but that's what good neurotic does, fester over the little things until you pass out. Thankfully, I did awake, the panic passed. It's the day I was born into this wild world and although my hips are failing, I have very few wrinkles, and yeah, I die my hair to cover the gray, but I wouldn't call that denial, I'd call that color me beautiful, pigment is good. All in all it's just another year of life and that is the greatest gift.