Monday, June 06, 2005

Nipples Of Mass Destruction

Fear the titties, they are evil and people don't like Some of my highest ranking posts are about the bosom. People like the milk machines, they do, they really do:
"The producers of TV's Desperate Housewives have reportedly spent thousands of dollars digitally removing the nipples from on-screen images of actresses Teri Hatcher and Nicolette Sheridan."
Say what??
Teen actress Lindsay Lohan's breasts have been digitally reduced for forthcoming Disney film Herbie: Fully Loaded, to avoid offending family audiences.

Them thar tits are "raunchy" according to test screeners. So, Lindsay starves her titties away to nothingness and all is well in the world. NOT! What a crock of shit, the whole tit-gate thing is really starting to make my nipples hard. Mammories.....light the corner of my mind...misty watered colored mammories...of they way...they were. Breasts matter and my diamond encrusted nipples were made to cut through glass ceilings. Do not fear the tit, the tit once fed you and yet, the tit is tortured daily having to be harnessed in a silky elastical bondage unit daily for your viewing pleasure. Now, if the above statements have given the male sex a chubby, that's their problem. Women are the ones who have to haul the globes O' wonder around, which we find not to be sexually arousing at all. So if our boobage gets perky from time to time, know that it's most likely cold inside/outside. Rarely do we find everyday milieu worthy of a nipple rising. We can control our nipples about as much as men can control penal shrinkage from swimming or bathing in cold water. Wonder Twins, ACTIVATE---um---ATTENTION! ...nothin', nada and not even a quiver or a hardy NOPE. Keep up the rhetoric and women's nips will be erect daily, then what will the censors do? You can't photoshop the nipple away forever, they are a fact of life and the sooner the censorfucktards understand that, the less self conscience women will feel when their nipples choose to get happy.
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