Monday, October 31, 2005

Scary Things For a Scary Day

Happy Halloween Folks! Nothing like a day where strangers can legally give candy to small children and not be arrested. God Bless America. As for me, I'll be ignoring trick or treaters, I don't pass out candy from the bookstore, the cost is henious, the payback is none existent and besides, I'll be entirely to focused on remerchandising the store into a wintery wonderland, yes Halloween marks the beginning of the holiday rape on the consumer wallet, amen. Sure, Thanksgiving is in there somewhere, a day to stop shopping and fill your face with yummy stuff, a day of rest before the hounds are released, but that Thanksgiving feast is just a small part of the two solid months of holiday cheer and mayhem. I'm so excited I could puke, hork a nug of 'oliday cheer, cover my body in tinsle, stick a fork in me, I'm done. Ah, but it has just begun, hasn't it? No shit Sherlock. Imagine for a moment that Sherlock Holmes couldn't shit, ever. Imagine the horror! Thanks.

Scary Blog Post Of The Day:

A WORKING GIRL CAN'T WIN , personally I love Maureen Dowd, but then again I'm easily distracted most by sparkly objects:
"My mother gave me a little cushion to fall back on, in case some swain decided that my bakery wasn't worth buying.”

"You own a bakery?"I asked.

"It's a metaphor, Mr. Marlowe. Do keep up. One of mother's many, and one of the many mentions of mother I'll be making during this case. It's of a piece with one of my favorite poems about modern mores:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who'd moisturize his face and then pluck it.
He said with a grin,
'Less you're pretty and thin
And willing to blow me, then fuck it.

"Charming,” I said. "Now back to the case. What's a modern girl to do? I'm going to need you to be a little more specific."

"Oh, don't worry. I can go on for pages."

A rash of SCOTUS:
"Today's drinking game? Every time you hear "unlike Harriet Miers," take a sip."
He's "The Man", this SCOTUS nom is a middle aged white man, I'm sure O'Conner is flattered as fuck, as flattering as fuck can be, actually, the face I'm making now says fuck all over it. :S

Enjoy hours of mindless entertainment playing Monster Match. Have a safe holiday people, don't do anything I wouldn't do (your options are endless....muahahaha!)