Sunday, April 16, 2006

Moses and the creepy volleyball woman

I've got issues, I know this, you know this, so why God, why did Wilson's make that creepy commercial. You know the one, it's starts innocently enough, there's a volleyball looking like it's sweatin' out fluorescent sports drink and then the seams start to rip away and the ball starts forming a human shape trying to rip free from it's sporty pod. Seeing the figure of a face trying to rip through the rubber just freaks me the fuck out! This isn't Tom Hank's Wilson, no, this is Wilson's creepy sister being born on television. Ew, ew, ew.

So, last night, I'm watching the 10 Commandments for the umpteenth time and the commercial comes on and it's that damn ball again, sweatin' it's sports drink, "Oh shit!" I scramble to find the remote control, I won't watch it again, I can't do it, ew. I panic. I fumble to find the remote as the volleyball's seams start to rip away and then "click." Whew. "See ya bitch" I say and quickly turn the channel as not to expose myself to the creepy ball lady. Once my heart rate leveled and a commercial for some local news brought back a smidge of sanity, I was able to flip the channel back to the good ol' creepy gun totin' Moses. Whew.

Have a loverly holiday!