Friday, November 03, 2006

Dreaming Cheshire Smiles

I dreamt that I was at a woman's house, apparently, in my mind at least, I knew this woman from a cat show I had recently sold my jewelry at. From what I can remember, I don't recall this lady being at the show at all and in the dream she was part of a mystery as I was with a Scooby Doo group of folks in hot pursuit of um...something, I'm not sure. Like any good investigator I had to urinate, err... so, I found the bathroom and once I piddled and upon standing from the toilet I lost my balance. To steady myself I put my hand on the wall and when I did my hand went through the wall and I heard a cat screech, like the wall was a cat and I stepped on it. Looking around I noticed that the once pristine surroundings were now dreary and decaying. Wanting to hide the damage I did on my toilet ascent, I found a towel and shoved it in the hole.

On leaving the bathroom, I now found my fellow Scooby Doo-er's in this woman's rotting bedroom and she was sweetly introducing them to a gazillion cats and kittens that weren't there prior to the piddle episode. Obligingly, I listened to their names and fell in love with every damn kitty there, but I knew I didn't need another kitty let alone purchase a pure breed, so I just smiled, nodded and "mmmhmmm" a lot. As it is, I'm already one cat shy of "Crazy Cat Spinster" status, that is until I see this tiny little creature, no more than six weeks old with a brown tabby look about it. The lady explained to me that she would give me this particular cat for free, "but you have to understand", she said, "he's blind".

Not having seen the kitten's face yet, it seemed to turn around right as the lady said this, I was saddened and horrified when I saw the kitten's face. His little head slightly deformed and he's eyes were milky as if born with cataracts. I'll be the first to adopt a seemingly loveless creature, it's my nature, I believe everything deserves love, even creepified kitties that look like Sponge Monkeys. As I pet the creature, my Scooby Doo pals grimacing with every touch, I started to fall in the love with the scary looking bugger and just as I'm about to tell the lady I'll take on the task, the cat smiled a huge opened mouth smile, which promptly woke my ass up.

Once awake, I realized my own cats were working their "wake up the bringer of food" mode. Ruby, my black cat, was basically sitting on my chest staring down at me, occasionally touching her wet nose to my chin and Sophie, my Siamese mix, was next to my pillow...staring down at me and playing with my hair, neither of the cats smiled at me and for that I was thankful, but I'm certain that's why my brain conjured the smiling deformed kitty, nothings perfect, right?

Speaking of cats, it just so happens that it's raining cats and dogs today, ugh. Aunt Flo has made a surprise visit, which I hope is not representative of the decaying bathroom, ew. And to top things off I have an interview this afternoon. The huge zit above my lip should scare the living shit out of my interviewer and I'm certain that my hair will do it's amazing humidity freak out trick, which can be quite attractive if I were living in a nut house. I'm doomed. I'm bitchy and bloated, damnit, I feel sexy. Garble snarf with a side blech. Creepy smiling cats, damn.

Paging Dr. Freud.....