I hurried home from work tonight so that I could sit my fat ass in front of my big ass television to watch Neal Pollack on Dennis Miller's CNBC show. Before I settled into the show I thought I'd check to see who Larry King was chatting up and to my enjoyment it was the uber-sexy-short-shit Jon Stewart pimping America (The Book). They touched on the Tucker Carlson bitchslap episode and the only response The Daily Show's fake lead anchor could say was that he was on steroids, his testicles were but lil' nubbin's and he couldn't possibly be held responsible for his brilliantly bitchy manner because of the steroids.
The uber-sexy-omg-mytonguecouldgetlostinthatcleftchin, Neal Pollack, graciously gave Miller's audience a copy of his book Never Mind the Pollack's and smirked accordingly when given credit for it. When given the brief opportunity to opine on steroids Mr. Pollack responded with: make the shit legal for all of Major League baseball and while your at it legalize drug use for them as well, I say, why the hell not? Hell, in opinion, I think they should legalize rape and assault for the NBA as well, so wtf, we might as well allow MLB to allow the ball player's use their junk without fear of prosecution, you know, for the greater good of sportsmanship.
Neal's shot on the varsity panel was painfully short, definitely not enough time for him and Dennis Miller to play off each other, although Neal apparently fondle his crotch briefly, I didn't see it happen, he claims it was a testicular itch, I miss all the good shit, but I digress (as usual). Where was I? Crotch is such a cool word...wait...um...oh yeah, Mr. Miller should invite Neal back for a full on sparring, it was obvious he respected Neal's opinion and I would guarantee that it would be funny as fuck, because as we all know 'fuck' and all acts associated with 'fuck' are funnier then shit, well as funny as shit can be, yanno.
After the varsity Panel was over, I flipped back to CNN and watched as Uber-geekified-sexy Mo Rocca closed the hour of Larry King pimping his beastiality book All The Presidents Pets the interview made no sense, I didn't care, Mo is a quirky-freaky bitch and that makes me happy. Neal Pollack is a genius-bitch and that makes me happy, Dennis Miller is smartass-sexy-bitch that I want to smack sense into sometimes, but ultimately he makes me laugh and Jon Stewart is a smart & funny bitch and gosh if that doesn't make me happy. I'm one happy bitch right now and I just wanted to share the experience, because, I can.
