Deck The Halls, bitch.

It snowed here yesterday and I have about two inches of snow on the ground, with the sweetest little flurries making way to their demise right now. When it started snowing I was all, "don't even think of calling me into work tomorrow I need that damn day off, I'm dead to you all tomorrow, dead I say!" and then I proceeded to work another hour and a half after my scheduled time off and bitch about it the whole time, and to make matters more pleasurable when an employee asked for a quick break I went into a tirade about not having one decent break all fucking week. It was weird, I got my whole Jewish-mom-guilt-thing down and I'm not even Jewish, that I know of, well actually there's a little Jew in everyone, I've seen it, in my dreams, granted I'd taken painkillers and Jesus was holding the leash....wait...where was I? Yes, my employees don't want to see my ass, I was in Nazi-mode as not to get off track, obsessed to the point of actually cramming a sandwich down my throat while scrubbing the goddamned toilet because adult employees make the messy, but don't like cleany, it's pathetic. No, my employee's are sure to be tired of my militant, obsessive ass and could do with a day away from psycho boss; some may say I'm a control freak, I'd just say I'm driven to stay on track with tasks and goals that don't concern my body weight. Fourth quarter is a survival test as is the winter add them together and there is no need to question "where the time went", it just went, like my mind, gone.com.

In order to get two days off in a row, today is my first day off in seven days and I'm still in work mode, I automatically woke at 5 a.m., I looked outside and saw the snow and stressed out that one of the employees would call in sick. Exhausted, I slept restlessly for three more hours and when I finally gave up the fight with my mind I awoke, checked for messages, and there were none. I'm home free baby, home free to get all Nazi on Christmas decorations that must be hung, there will be some freakin' Christmas spirit in my home and hopefully it will infect my soul and the glories of the holidays will radiate from my eyes and blind you with love, good will and joy. Wow, that would be freaky as fuck if that happened, but what an experience it would be, no?

The snow is beautiful and although it's starting to melt now and little flurries are still falling from the sky. They don't care that they'll melt by the end of the day, they just fall, bless their little snowflake souls, well they don't have souls that we know of, they just happen to be a result of the right barometric pressure, and not the souls of angels that bring the Christmas spirit to the world. However, they are beautiful and beautiful things can ignite an imagination, so my imagination will go the way of millions before me and I'll put up Santas and sparkling lights, put up a tree and decorate it to the point no one will ever know it was a tree to begin with, toss in a Nativity or two, and by God and sheer delusional will power I WILL have the holiday spirit, damn it.

Oh yeah, by the way congratulations are in order for Enrique Iglesias!!!! We couldn't be more thrilled for you. xoxo

By way of my inbox :


Life is all about asses
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one