Sunday, September 25, 2005

Sugar Blues

See, I wasn't gone that long, now you all can relax, I just had some serious brain overload and needed to rest my mind or lose it. I got word on my stores closure the end of March or mid-April. Now, there is the possibility of a store in the Podunk backwoods of a different County, far away from the city, but that's not me, I love the Mountains, I don't want to live in them, thanks. So unemployment looms in the distance, change is a coming, you can smell it, don't worry, I'll shower in a minute.

Ever heard of prediabetes? Well, I got the word this week that I am in the state of prediabetes a precursor to never being allowed Ben & Jerry's and Beer for dinner, EVER again. Goddamnitall, flurkin' slibbityslop! Yeah, so,'s either I start eating like a normal person, or start checking my blood sugar every five fucking minutes, gah. These past few days I've been in the midst of saying goodbye to the diet I've known for the past few years, makin' me tummy all rotund and my ass shake when I walk. I said goodbye to the baked potato, yum, I said goodbye to the Pinwheel cookies, the Ben and Jerry's and the big ass plate of pasta. Adios to using a Twinkie as a palate cleanser, ta-ta to beer for dessert. Actually, I gave up the weekly beers a few years ago, the smallest amount of booze got me shit-faced and the hangover sucked up a day of life I'm unwilling to part with anymore, and the fact I was full on stupid for days after whooping it up concerned me, I now know why.

So, needless to say, all this has been overwhelming to the point where I actually had to use the anxiety/happy pill the Doctor gave me a week or two ago. I didn't want to ever have to take them, but I know me, when the heart speeds up, the brain tweaking the whiteness that closes in, not to mention the shortness of breath and the want to reach for comfort food dipped in chocolate and chased with beer. E-fucking-gads. The pill worked nice, the heart rate went back to normal, the 12 trillion thoughts eating my brain turned into 12 manageable thoughts, whew. Today I start the exercise regime, and go to the grocery store to buy foods that will help regulate my fucking blood sugar, although, I still have a half pint of Ben & Jerry's to conquer and one more potato to bake, tomorrows another day. I have one last baseball game to attend, so I might fall of the sugar wagon one day, but for the most part, I like winning, even against myself, so I'm more than willing to tow the fucking line. I want to have chocolate cake and beer for my 50th, 60th and consecutive birthdays so you bet your ass I'll be good. I thought I post the pre-weight loss pic so you can follow my progress
It's not going to be an easy task, the upcoming Holidays and all the life changes, but I can do it, I've done it before, but this time my fucking life depends on it...bleh. No more midnight Oreo binges, I swear and trust me, I swear a lot. ;)