Resolutions not made

I will never diet again. I will never buy a trendy diet book again. I could build a small home with the amount of diet books bought and never read and/or read and bought the expensive groceries, lost five pounds only to gain them back because I couldn't afford anything else except for ramen noodles for the remainder of the month. Ramen noodles make me fart, I hate that, sometimes when the funds allow, I add an egg for protein and my farts really stink then, oy. This year it's the "Fuck it Diet", god bless Margaret Cho's once ample, now slender ass.