There's not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America; there's the United States of America. The pundits like to slice-and-dice our country into Red States and Blue States; Red States for Republicans, Blue States for Democrats. But I've got news for them, too. We worship an awesome God in the Blue States, and we don't like federal agents poking around our libraries in the Red States. We coach Little League in the Blue States and have gay friends in the Red States.---Barack Obama

Alrighty, when you mix Red & Blue you get the color PURPLE.  Purple is a very beautiful lush color, however, purple is also associated with royalty, the very thing our forefathers ran from to make a more perfect union a more red & blue union. But we do have purple mountains majesty, purple hazes and our own sort of purple royalty. So what I'm saying is that the color Red is pink without the white, and blue is the color of balls that have poor circulation. Mix these and you get purple, the color of the alcoholic's nose. Are ya following me here? Okay, let me clear it up for ya, red states and blue states make us what we are as a country, we are purple.
Also note that "there's not a liberal America and a conservative America-there's the United States of America." and mix all the colors that make us what we are, we are purple, E Pluribus Unum.

Okay, I may not speak as eloquently as this suggests and I haven't read 'every' book in print, because as an eletist, I can't bring myself to read certain genres and certain authors *cough* Steel *cough*. mmmmmm...kay.....


You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party.
What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves.
What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.


What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
[Via: Old Hag]

Brokaw has a Freudian moment here. I can remember a time, back when Aaron Brown was an Anchor for our NBC news affiliate here in Seattle, and while reporting a story about a shipyard scenario his lips and mind betrayed him momentarily as he reported about the 'shityard', all the anchors laughed, my family was like what? What? Heh, he said 'shit'yard...we laughed along with the anchors and continued on with our ritual of eating dinner while viewing the news, well those of us who weren't choking.

Burn the witch, Burn her! This woman must have been abused close to death by a Uncle democrat at one point in her life, or let me take a swack at the possibility that back in college, a liberal exboyfriend asked for some poopshoot action that went terribly awry once upon a time. "Treason", she screamed "that is an exit only orifice, abort operation, abort!" no poopshoot for YOU! Alrighty, here's the thing, USA Today wanted a 'Fair & Balanced' perspective from the DNC, so why the fuck did they hire Coulter? Jesus, they would have been better off hiring Whoopi Goldberg and Linda Ronstadt.

This article was declined by USA Today, but thankfully she posted it on her website so you can see for yourself her demise. She is one scary woman, a two columns shy of sitting next to Courtney in Bellevue, straightjacket kinda scary. David Weigel an intern at USA Today comments on the papers decision to decline her column.

- Coulter turned in a strikingly incoherent column yesterday, which she has now posted on her website. I fact-checked it, but while I did the editorial honchos decided not to publish.
- I think the honchos are right. It's a terrible piece of writing. I mean, "Sadly, they won't be fighting to the death as is done in W.W.F. caged matches"? People DON"T FIGHT TO THE DEATH in cage (not "caged") matches! This was way below the level of writing in Coulter's books, which I think were what we thought she would provide to ... you know ... the audience of America's largest-circulation newspaper.
- Coulter has proven a complete jackass in her response to this. I caught her telling Sean Hannity that USA Today wanted her "byline," and were interested in the idea of a conservative writer without having the balls to actually print one. Yeah, Ann. That's right. The paper that prints Michelle Malkin and Jonah Goldberg is afraid to publish a real conservative.

Talk to the hand! Sink or swim, I'm waiting for her to sink, she won't be alone, she'll be floating amidst the likes of Michael Savage's faltering career due to his 'sodomite spew' and there ya have it, I've reduced free speech to ass-fucking. Hot damn Martha, get me some astroglide!

This is about as tacky as tacky can get. I'm pro-choice, but um...this is just gauche. Its the equivalent to NASCAR t-shirts in my opinion. If you choose to wear this fresh from leaving the clinic, expect to have your dumpster bombed, as if your dumpster hasn't been through enough. Expect your own personal parade of interfering religious 'lifers' to follow you around with pictures of aborted fetuses, expect them to shout *babykiller* as you proudly display that you had your soul sucked from within. C'mon Planned Parenthood, get real, one doesn't need a souvenir for the occasion, counseling yes, a fashion statement that could get you killed, no.

It's not what you wear or how you wear it, its what you read and when your wearing it.

In the past couple of years, the once fusty and elitist world of literature has undergone a makeover: books have not only become a little less bookish, they have actually become hip. For a jaded generation of late twenty- and early thirtysomethings, literature is filling the slot once occupied by nightclubs, records, trucker caps and magazines. These neoliterati are just like any dudes and dudettes slouching on the Tube, wearing Converse All Stars, with scuffed hair and bulging pupils — only they’re more likely to be engrossed in the first-edition Anthony Burgess paperback they found on eBay than the latest issue of Dazed & Confused.

What are you reading now & why, dazzle me, strike a fashionably literary pose, make me buy more books, because as if you may have guessed by now, I'm hip to lit, I'm 'in', I'm 'fashionable', I'm, babbling.
[Via: Bookslut]

I've been trying for a week now to post how I felt about finally seeing Fahrenheit 911, every time I'd start a post I'd get all over-emotional, because I was constantly stuck on a few frames of the movie that were completely blackened out, the scene had only the sounds of the the two planes hitting the Twin Towers and the screams of the crowd below. I kept reliving that day over in my mind, the atrocities and horrors. I revisit my emotions that I felt following September 11th, the very emotions that were fed on a daily basis with misinformation and a personal feeling of revenge so strong that I backed the Presidents decision to bitchslap Osama...errr...Saddam.

The movie, despite what you think about Michael Moore and his tactics, is ultimately important because it opens the dialogue as to why it happened. You may choose to agree or disagree, the facts are there to champion or challenge. Personally, I walked away from the theater feeling duped by an agenda other than my own, my own agenda being the total obliteration of terrorism and hate, but other than a cartoon reflections and witty banter, I don't have a magic wand that I could shove up Omarosa's err...Osama's ass and make him disappear. The United States has the tools that could take out Bin Laden, but ya see..it may never happen because the ties that bind are tight, as you'll see in the movie. The cynic in me expects a capture of Osama in October, just prior to the election. I imagine Dubya calling up him and saying, "Hey there good buddy, its time to pay the piper, I let your family flee from the U.S. rather then have emotional American's rip the shit out of them, remember?" If that were to happen, Dubya would probably win by a landslide, because our collective minds will once again feel safe.

We have and will never be entirely safe, here in the United States our freedoms keep us floating in a bubble of a false sense of security, I mean for christs sake we are the most civil country on the planet, are we not? Gosh..ummmm..well..aside from that whole slavery issue and the blatant blowing off of Rwanda like that 3 a.m. booty call. It is our own humanity that that lends to our shortcomings and our failures, we are not a perfect species, but, keeping in line with the protocols of food chain (burp) and embracing the power of philosophical debate we can be a better species, one that questions, one that honors civility and humanity.

So, pardon moi while I get all Ronstadt on your asses and recommend that you take the time to go see Fahrenheit 911, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you will remember, you'll question and you'll wonder why Mr. Moore won't lose that fucking ugly leather coat already and please don't trash the lobby on your way out, thanks. :)

[Via: Google, My CupieSenses and Andy (Thanks Dude!)]

Shut up, shut it, www.zipit.com. To be fair it's just not O'Reilly telling people to shut up, its him and her and them. I accidentally hit the narrator button on my XP whilst posting this and it read this post, and after I heard the man in the box call me Q PIE Spew!, I asked my computer if it would like to suckle my zipple, it didn't declined and we've already visited the whole 'breast on the monitor' scenario, so I had to shut the damn thing up. *click* ;)

You give and give and give, for what?

For lack of anything better to do than acutally read junk mail, you can view cartoons based on the subject lines of your spam. We give you Spamusements.

Is that a pollster in your pocket? Or you just happy to be there. Democrat Blogs gather together here. A community site for bloggers participating in the DNC, July 26-29. Being as the country is so completely polarised politically, its a great place for Democratic findings and a great place to feed the uber negative, constantly scoffing Republican world. Good Times.

They Might Be Giants be bop a loo bop a dop damn doo? Or Wop bop a be bog shimmy, shimmy shake? It's bouncy.

Thing One: Keep abreast of the electoral vote here. Please refrain from keeping breast to close to monitor unless of course your into the whole static electricity shock treatment thingy. *zap* Oh baby :|

Thing Two:

Thing Three: It was actually cool last night, I slept through the whole night without waking in a pool of sweat. I overselpt :S Have a super day!

"With simple illustrations and quaint photographs that evoke a more innocent era--presented in Technicolor or rich black-and-white in a broad range of illustration styles--Change Your Underwear Twice a Week is a chronicle of the classroom filmstrip experience. It will instantly transport baby boomers back to fifth-period social studies, the smell of art paste, the sound of the recess bell."

Sounds like a fascinating read and damn if I don't want to taste some paste again. Okay, I admit it. I ate paste in grade school. It was creamy and white and tasted minty fresh and no I didn't top it off with a booger sandwich, snack pack pudding and an apple, yes, boogers no. Eating paste was a right of passage back then, I was liberating myself from the 'norm' the very second I dipped my finger into the little plastic pot. It happened innocently enough, I was pasting something together and wiped something off my face, perhaps sweat, don't remember...anyways it was then I tasted it. To my surprise it was flavored and damn if I didn't like it. Don't get me wrong, I didn't ask my mother to pick-up a pint o' glue as treat at the grocery store when she went. But, for the rest of my elementary education I would secretly dip my digit into the bottle and taste the glue at during every art session.

My addiction to paste fell by the wayside once I'd entered middle school and found the joys of sniffing library books, the school was new and so were the books in the library. I'd check out a couple of books on smell alone. Back then the books were covered with a thick plastic coating to preserve them and I love that smell to this day. When I receive shipments at the bookstore, you can find me sniffing each and every one of the hardcovers, because paperbacks tend to smell like um...paper, I solely sniff the hardcovers and childrens books and product and occassionally (if I'm lucky) I'll reap the reward of that toxic plastic smell of my youth. Don't even get me started on the glory of magic markers, that's another sniffing post, for another day. **Sniff**
[Via:Scrubbles]

It's all over the t.v. and web now that I have cable and can finally view it, but its funny as hell and fabulously bi-partisan. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, hopefully. ;)

After Linda Ronstadt praised Michael Moore's Farenhiet 911, she was booed by the audience and kicked off the property of the Alladin Casino in Las Vegas. FUCK THAT and while we're at it Fuck that Casino with a damn corkscrew, ahem.

It was my understanding that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. But, if you say something unpopluar your ass is outta there...........stiiiiiiiiiiirike! This is getting out of hand folks. Yeah, they paid to hear the puppet sing her classic hits, but when the artist colored outside of the lines, she was promptly disciplined, they took her crayons away. What the fuck is going on in this world? I'm sick of this censorship crap. Chill out people, I've said it before and I'll say it again, the world will keep spinning whether or not we like our leader. Relax, eat some carbs for the love of fuck and chill out. [Via: Team Cho]

"The "girlie men" remark was a play on a "Saturday Night Live" skit with the fictional bodybuilders Hans and Franz, who parodied Mr. Schwarzenegger's physique and accent, an aide to the governor said."

Sometimes, to get your point across, you have to be in touch with your inner "girlie man", but remember, after being in touch with your inner girlie-man to wash your hands thoroughly after use.

"The title is Alice's Adventures Under Ground.
It was the Rev. Charles Dodgson (aka Lewis Carroll's) precursor to Alice In Wonderland."

I own a reproduction of this title printed in 1985, it has a short biographical chapter preceding the story and a foreword Mary Jean St Clair, Alice's granddaughter. It doesn't look as though there is a current publication but if you can find one, go for it.

Click on Quizzes to get where you wanna be. [Via: SideSalad]

Middle Eastern turbulence, good for belly dancing, not so much for feeding our culture of paranoia, EEK.

[via: WTF is it now?]

 

 

Lying gets you 5 months in prison, 5 months of house arrest and 2 years of supervised release for being manipulative.  Fear this woman, she may just buy your over priced crap stock and sell on the downslide, lock her up!!!  Personally, the $30,000. fine should suffice, but she lied to omnipotent government, tsk, tsk....and we all know how truthful our Government is.  Snarf =P

Well, the new computer is up and running and I'm trippin'.  I struggled with two other substandard machines for 5 years, trying to keep one or the other alive and receiving nothing but a severe dose of stress.  And this past month or so with limited use and the ability to only view one webpage at a time without it crashing, has left me kinda stunned now that I have cable on top of a new, fast computer.
 
Shock is an understatement!  I haven't had the time to surf and become the download master I know within the next few weeks that will be a different story, but for now...its back to work tonight.  I can't wait to view all the videos and animation that were stop/action in my world, I'm still getting over the whole......dial-up.......make coffee, feed cats, open windows routine.......email was a complete horror this past month except for gmail.  I'm back in the game and after playing around just a little, I realize, I was never really in the game, I was just a girl with a bad computer.  Look OUT!  Woooohooooooo! 
 
Alrighty, the blogger toolbar is different to me to, is this new?  Who can say........but,
N Y it!

Whoopi blasted the Bush and lost her diet regime. Lesson learned: Be nice to your Bush or else you'll be fat for the rest of your life, bitch.

Slim Fast were most likely within their rights to fire Whoopi, but what the fuck do these corporations think when they hire the likes of controversial personalities and expect them to be something their not? To all the corporate heads out there, stop being dipshits and stand behind your actions and for the love of free speech, stop with the bending to the Bush's will, you are weak--*slap*. Fuck you Slim Fast and your blatant selling of the diet culture and fuck Whoopi for selling out to lose some weight, your better off not pimping food that tastes like the containers its sold in.

Courtney Love is experiencing peri-menopause, your a sweaty, crazy mess of estrogen. Fear not Courtney, its normal. What? Your not normal? Your extraodinary? Me too, an extraodinarily normal peri-menapausal cesspool of sweaty bitchiness and a wee bit crazy myself, most humans are, normal is a sporadic trend of civility. And what of these 'gynecological problems' as of late? It's part of the her downward spiral promotional techniques for the birth of her new Manga book, Princess AI, "A Diva Torn from Chaos, A Savior Doomed to Love". Unfortunately, I don't think a straight jacket was part of the promotional junket.

"Her behaviour during incarceration was erratic and confrontational and she was transferred to a state mental institution when her mother had her declared incompetent." --this is from Frances Farmers biography, sound familiar? On my 40th birthday I opted for a few small gatherings of friends and family, you might want to try that next year, its far less taxing than a lobotomy. Oh, and btw, Happy Birthday!

The day started with computer component price comparisons and then off to Best Buy, then back home to write down what I forgot to write down, the prices, as to um....compare the um....prices, duh. You might ask why not print them? I might answer with, ARRRRRGH! Or I might just say that my computer, the piece o' shit it is, won't except the printer, it did at one time, but not since the last great crash of 2003, so I wrote the numbers down. The decision was made at that point (now afternoon) that all components will be bought at Computer Sonics, great prices, everything in stock stock, blah, blah, blah. I spent $577.00 for all the pieces for my fabulous new computer, the very computer I'm not using, as of yet. It's all assembled, but were still having some hard drive formatting issues which will be remedied tomorrow.

So needless to say, I'm still dial-up bitch *curtsey*, yeah baby. I was overly optimistic that we (my A+ certified brother Matt and myself) would have it up and running this evening, that I went and signed up for Comcast, again. When I say we, I mean I watched as Matt connected the thingymajigs to the thingythings correctly, actually I know the names of the thingymajigs, but I like that word more then all the technical names, it makes me feel all freakin' girlie to say thingymajigs *blush-puke-blush*. If I had done this on my own it may have taken weeks if not months as the majority of what I know of computers is self-taught and golly if I'm not a A.D.D bitch too and without Matt helping me, months down the line I'd finally have a new computer, a freshly knitted sweater and possibly eight or nine other new hobbies learned in that space of time. And maybe, if we hadn't had to circle endless Industrial Business Parks for over an hour in hideous humidity looking for the aforementioned Computer Sonics, we would have had the energy to continue on, but, such is life when you've sweated away every last drop of fluid from your body.

When Matt realized he needed a more current version of Windows, other than the archaic Win98 (support only available to the 3rd world countries still using it) to enable him to format the hard drive, we gave up on the new computer for the evening and bless his little heart for thinking he could get the Comcast modem to work on the fucking compaq. I reminded him, that months ago, I did all the same steps he was using to try to enable the modem. I reminded him that I had two Comcast technicians here doing all the same steps he was doing and it cost me $100 to watch them scratch their asses and leave me again with the moniker of dial-up bitch and limited funds for chocolate & beer for the remainder of the month, the fucking humanity of it. Once Matt realized he wasn't going to win the fight, beaten down and baffled by the fickle compaq, he enabled me to continue the adventures of dial-up bitch for another night.

Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow I'll live in the world of cable, tomorrow I will have a computer that will work for more than an hour, a computer that will let me run multiple programs. Yeah, you've heard that all before, but I'm hopeful and to be a dial-up bitch for one more night to bring you this bloggy update has left me all melancholy for what I'm about to lose (see Jane weep)....(*slap*)...(see Jane get over it), because tomorrows another day and tomorrow the sun will come out, and tomorrow if its humid again, I'll lose another pound from loss of fluids. As if dial-up and A.D.D bitch wasn't enough, I'm a freakin' human barometer.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya tomorrow....your only a day away.....well, hours away actually, I've babbled enough, Good Night! :D

Then, a Bush/Cheney bus passed, followed by a second one going slower. At the front of this second bus was The W himself, waving cheerily at his supporters on the other side of the highway. Adam, Brendan, and I rose our banner (the More Trees, Less Bush one) and he turned to wave to our side of the road. His smile faded, and he raised his left arm in our direction. And then, George W. Bush, the 43rd president of the United States of America, extended his middle finger.

President Bush had no comment on this matter, but we can only assume that our prestigious Vice President Dick Cheney told them to Fuck Off. God Bless America! ;)

"Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

If this is true I'm starving and all I have is bruised fruit and a fat ass. So be it. Have a loverly day!

I had no desire to read Vernon God Little it sounded depressing as fuck! (And yes, some fucking can be depressing, right Monica?) Anyhoo, the book is about the aftermath of a mass student slaying at a High School in Texas, now this doesn't sound entertaining at all until you actually pick up the book and read it. If you were to take one part Catcher in the Rye, one part Confederacy Of Dunces and one part South Park with just a dash of Huckleberry Finn you'd have DBC Pierre's Man Booker Prize winner Vernon God Little.

The story is narrated by Vernon Gregory Little a fifteen year old with Nike Jordan New Jack tennis shoes and that's the good part of his daily grind, unfortunately he is the suspected accomplice to the murder of 16 fellow classmates, thing is the boy was just taking a shit, outside, but with teachers note in hand (the future toilet paper) and while releasing his unpredictable bowels, he witnesses his best friend snapping like a twig and shooting up the student body. What? Doesn't sound funny? Trust me, it is brilliantly funny, smart and heartbreaking. The characters abuse 'protein diets', Vernon's mother ends up humping on one of the reporters camped in their front yard and Vernon makes way to Mexico to escape the unbelievable reality not of his doing.

I finished this book in 4 days, I loved it and glad that my associate Andy recommended it, actually I just think he tired of hearing me bitch about the book I had been reading prior to Vernon. I made the attempt to read the 'Christian' Harry Potter wannabe, Shawdowmancer. It's a preachy tale that holds little magic or imagination and ironically a golden statue, because as we know the Christian faith loves some false idols??? Uh, yeah....so um, the Vicar in the book is a fucker, and while one of the adventurers is being held prisoner in a pagan hold, he tells the captured and the guard that tarot and fortune telling is evil and not God's work, mmmkay...and then he heals the deaf mute as a good will gesture. At one point the kids are being chased by the terrible Wiccaman, then another 'healing' of sorts.....ack. I didn't care for it all, the book gave me a bloody headache and I've yet to read the ending, but I'm certain it will be a 'happy ending' after all, God is gracious like that.

The last two books I read prior to the above were The Pleasure Of My Company, by Steve Martin (brilliant and funny) and Jennifer Government by Max Barry, were both very fulfilling and fun reads. Martin's books main character has a wee bit of OCD which I totally related to, and Barry's main character Jennifer has a product scan label tattooed on her cheek and fights crime when paid by the victim or the victims family and that's how things work in the future. You take the company name you work for as your surname in the future and you have alliances to business' for better discounts, some call it loyalty programming, I call it Guerilla Capitalism. In the Pleasure of My Company, the main character goes jogging in his khakis and loafers and has issues with curbs, in Jennifer Government, Nike makes some kick ass over-priced, over-hyped tennis shoes,(likened to Vernon G. Littles, Jordan New Jacks). In order to give the tennis shoes street cred and charge $1500 a pair, Nike assigns an assassination task to an employee low on the Nike totem and all hell breaks lose. Jennifer Government is scary because we are so very close to that very future, but its fucking hysterical as well, because it all starts with frequent flyer miles (gotsta git dem milez). I highly recommend both books and if you want to play in the World of Jennifer Government you can play the game, make your own nation here.

And finally, it was decided over a multitude of margurita's and mexican food with my friend Laura that my next book to conquer will be Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. She enthusiastically recommended I read all of Burroughs limited title selection, but after a few margurita's one could easily suggest reading The Bible with the same vigor. I already owned the book so I guess I'll read that next! Alrighty, that's your book spew for now, have at it.

"I know that if I go more than about five or six hours without posting, or telling people that I'm not going to be blogging for the rest of the day," said Reynolds, readers e-mail him and say, "You haven't posted anything in five or six hours. Are you OK?"

The Bloggers ego at work, oy. ;)

Whether or not you can tell a book by its cover, you can generally tell a country by its books. If most political books are any indication, the way we argue now has been shaped by cable news and Weblogs; it's all ''gotcha'' commentary and attributions of bad faith. No emotion can be too angry and no exaggeration too incredible.

Yet if the technologies used by bloggers and hardballers are new, the form is older than the Republic. While they appear as books -- and are staples of the best-seller lists -- today's give-no-quarter attacks, as George Packer noted recently of bloggers, have their origins in the pamphlets of the colonial era.

Yeah, I know, I was refraining from any political posting, I'm so full of shit and hey, while I'm at it I'll lose 20lbs by the end of next week! Or not. But I liked this article on The New Pamphleteers, essentially the origins of all the political books on the shelves right now and blogs. Years ago when something pissed us off we made pamphlets and passed them out to all that would take them. Nowadays, its a much larger pissing contest and thanks to the technology behind blogging we are pissing outside of the lines and directly into your homes, yippee.

The one horrifying aspect of the article was the mention of Ann Coulter's new book, which I won't link to, mostly because I'm not a middle aged man with a boner hanging on her vitriol imbued bullshit. However, I will refrain from calling Ms. Coulter a succubus as I have in prior posts, no matter how true that might be, I'm practicing a nicer approach for the greater good of not spreading the negativity that I'm sure you'll find in the pages of her book. I'm certain Ms. Coulter is a fine woman and as a child I imagine her showing her cotton covered crotch for attention or just to be able to hang with the boys at the treehouse, who can say, its just my imagination. Anyhoo, no matter how you get your fix of political spew, practice your rebuttals with sickly sweet imagination like I do, remember, its for the greater good of a more positive society. ;)

The survey, called "Reading at Risk," is based on data from "The Survey of Public Participation in the Arts," conducted by the Census Bureau in 2002. Among its findings are that fewer than half of Americans over 18 now read novels, short stories, plays or poetry; that the consumer pool for books of all kinds has diminished; and that the pace at which the nation is losing readers, especially young readers, is quickening. In addition it finds that the downward trend holds in virtually all demographic areas.

Snap out of it America! Take the time to read, escape the everyday bullshit with a good book!!! Do it!!! Books can be, sexy, funny, enlightening, scary, and above all else, educational. Why deny yourself? Some customers that I have had in the bookstore state that they haven't read a book in years, after I slap the shit out of them...I ask what their interests are and show them a book that might spark their interest. I'll show them Science, History, Erotica and if necessary I'll even show the dreaded Manga or shove an Archie comic in their hand.....whatever it takes that customer will walk out with a book. Reading is the greatest and most healthy of all addictions, granted it will cost you as much as crack or weeks supply of dope or booze, but I can guarantee you that after reading a book you won't wake up in the gutter or wonder who that person with the tattoo of his or her mother on their ass is in your bed. Trust me, you'll be far better off with your nose in a book than up someones ass. Read.

She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain.~ Louisa May Alcott *splat* ;)

I must retract a statement made earlier on this blog that John Kerry's balls have finally dropped, I was wrong, only one ball is dangling and his name is John Edwards. I guess it will have to do, although I would have been more apt to give a shit if it were Clinton. I will refrain from any other political references for a while as lately, all the blogs and news I read are so fucking mean. The republicans suck, the democrats suck, we ALL having been given the ability to suck so you wouldn't think its such a bad thing, but when all the negative bashing bullshit reduces you to a bottle of White Zinfandel and quoting lyrics from the musical Hair its time to chill on the political crap, that is, until I feel its necessary to bitchslap the epidemic of ignorance down once again. Benjamin Franklin once said "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy." in moderation of course and If that's what it takes to make it through this election, it will have to do! Oddly enough that post brought on more freakin' email than I could ever imagine and thanks for all the kind words and as for the marriage proposal, I'll have to to pass for now or at least until you submit your name. Alrighty people have an excellent Tuesday.

For those of you that haven't received your 'Geek' patch for your life sash, Klingon is the language of um.....Klingons, those brooding, bitchy, muscle bound brutes of the Star Trek Universe. Over the years some Trekkers have taken it all a little too seriously, by that I mean, they have embraced the language and now blog in the language. I have no idea what this guys saying in the blog, other than he's not getting laid anytime soon, but its definitely a labor of love. To decipher use the Klingon Dictionary, or not. [blog linkage Via: Biz]

Bookstores are where you go to BUY books and libraries are where vagrants bathe and from what I'm told, some people borrow books on occasion. School is out, its that most hot and sweaty time of the year summer. The air conditioner in my store is about the only thing that works anymore and for that I am thankful and so are the hundreds of half naked people people in my city. They come, they browse and on a good day, they buy.

Right now, I'm having a problem with teenagers and the Manga section, they grab a handful of their favorites, sit on the floor and read for hours. At first I didn't mind and then my Assistant pointed out that two of the sweaty lil' teens had been there for 4 hours! I asked them to handle the books more carefully as I'm sure someone would actually might want to pay to read them and I asked them nicely to get their butts off the floor and read at the table. That seemed to work for that day and the following day they returned. I let them sit for a few hours, then asked them if they'd like me to ring up their selection, the disappeared shortly, no one saw them leave. Thursday, two new tweeners hit the Manga section and the floor and started reading away. I approached them after a hour passed and asked them to handle the books more carefully, someone may actually want to buy them and then showed them the table where they could sit and read. They sat for another hour then disappeared, again, no one saw them leave. If I see their faces on milk cartons I'll become concerned, but, I know they'll be back because Manga is expensive and why buy when you can plop your half naked ass down on my filthy carpet and read them for free. Curse you Manga! (fist to sky, jaw clenched)

When people apply for a job at the store, they always state how much they've always wanted to work at bookstore, it look like so much fun! It's a God damn joy, we're not hiring at this time but we'll keep your application on file for a year...they smile and appear almost encouraged, whatever. I've hired many people over the years that are actually shocked at the volume of work involved in running a bookstore and quit after a week. I've hired people with dreams of owning their own bookstore and I can safely say that after a year of working at the store the dream was crushed to pulp and recycled into chick lit. It's not as easy as you might think, but it is a joy most days, other days you want to pummel the living crap out of the bastards that attempt to wank while standing and holding a hardcover Kama Sutra near the children's section.

More stories of the horrors of the bookselling experience can be found here. [link via: Pie]

We starve-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats (Prada)
wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation (US vs. Them)
Of moving paper fantasy (Enron)
Listening for the new told lies (Singing Bush? OY!)
With supreme visions of lonely tunes

Somewhere
Inside something, there is a rush of
Greatness
Who knows what stands in front, of
Our lives
I fashion my future on films in space (Saturn, the supreme cock ring)
Silence
Tells me secretly
Everything
Everything (this is just sex, right?)

Manchester England England (um.....okay)
Manchester England England (sure, don't make me blog this)

Eyes look your last
Across the Atlantic Sea (New Zealand?)
Arms take your last
embrace
And I'm a genius genius (sniff that bitch!)

(I believe in God, the righteous being, that's me, that's me.)

We stop-look
At one another
Short of breath
Walking proudly in our winter coats (okay, Gucci)
wearing smells from laboratories
Facing a dying nation
Of moving paper fantasy (Halliburton?)
Listening for the new told lies
With supreme visions of lonely tunes

Singing
Our space songs on a spider web sitar (oh spidey, what a loverly web)
Life is around you and in you
Answer for Timothy Leary, dearie (don't eat the brown sugar cubes, don't eat anything that doesn't have a owner)
Let the sunshine
Let the sunshine in
etc...

Now, don't get all naked or anything, but I'm sure by now you can smell the patchouli, I can....*sniffs armpit, ahhhhh*.

I'm a liberal, I believe in human and civil rights, I believe it is our most supreme purpose to help others who cannot help their sorry ass-selves, we--are the masters or our domains (touch at will, or not) but ultimately, I envision a world that works together to achieve the ultimate goal of survival.

We are together in this survival scenario whether you like it or not, and yes, my hope seem futile, that is until the rest of the world is educated to such matters. Ultimately, we are on a spinning glob of wonder, by the grace of God, whatever you deem him/her/it to be, we're in this this shit together. At this moment we are now we're choking, gagging on the preface of what of what we think we believe (learn more), there is not no right answer, creation, art (whatever you call it) is personal speculation, we live in the organic and will die organically. Put us in a mahogany casket, it will take us that much longer to become the dust we are born of. Let me remind you that in the words of Crosby Stills & Nash, we are stardust, we are golden. (polish the metal, if you must.)
Yeah, I'm a hippie bitch, but know this......we are the earth, we are the sky, science tells us that very notion, why think we're not? Evolution exists because it is scientifically plausible, can I get a "duh", yo.

We are proud of the belief structures we've made for ourselves, they are personal, my brain says what your brain doesn't, but if we work together and strive for all that is good in our nature, we as a society will learn and grow. If not, we'll die and so it goes. It is up to us and them and him and her and it (seek help) for our survival.

Longevity, diversity and the consumption of chocolate and large amounts of alcohol will only make us come together, ahhhhhhhh.......better to come together than not. We're in this together, discuss, debate, but know your mind, walk the talk and don't fear the outcome, the outcome is your destiny and the topic of debate, like 'him', like 'her'.....shit happens and guess what? The spinning rock will still spin like the bitch she is...despite our argument and debate, despite our beliefs, this rock will still spin with or without our words. Let's just do something to make it all better, together...just a thought. *smooches*

Can you smell the patchouli? LOL................smell my finger.