Wicked's Seattle run is sold out, I've got a ticket with my name on it for the matinee today. I've waited years for this (hence the homage banner for my blog) !! Woo. And tomorrow is the last day of the Mariner's baseball season, sure they sucked ass this year, but not as "assy" as last year, so, it's been a good year for the M's... kind of. Have an excellent weekend, I will. Peace out!

Related: Oz's green radical, set to music

"Broadway's "Wicked," written by Winnie Holzman with a score by Stephen Schwartz, boils it down to a sweeter, more simplistic story of feisty girl power>"

No cute little London Bridges, ew, Or Humps (chick ass) ...just plain ol' girl power and that's the way I roll, baby. ;)

The best of the week right here, right now.

Having tea with Pakistan:


Blog Post of the week: The End Of Suffering by Tim Sanders (Mr. Motivation) ;)

Think about it, your greatest energy comes from your innate desire to end suffering. If you are bored, you find great energy to deal with that. If someone you care about needs something, you find it in yourself to give her your very best. This mission I suggest, the end of suffering, comes from your true nature as a compassionate being.

It is truly possible to unify our intentions and to align with others based on the mission we select in life. Currently, we have so many varied (and often selfish) missions that it is no wonder we think we are not like “them” and find ourselves largely divided.

Read the rest here.

Word of the week: Crabtastical, not to be confused with Crabtestical, ew.

Tacky, tasteless and funny as hell:
Top Ten Chapters in Jim McGreevey's book by David Letterman

"Starred Review. Kindergarten-Grade 4–This pop-up tour de force abounds with humor, vibrant artwork, and visual fireworks. A sweet-faced tyke, attired in a sky-blue onesie and fuzzy hat, toddles into a creepy house. Unperturbed by his gruesome surroundings, he encounters one monster after another, calmly asking each, Mommy? Although the creatures try their best to scare him, the childs unwavering smile and mischievous actions quickly clarify whos in charge."

Maurice Sendak on NPR! He chats about his new book Mommy?
[text - slideshow]

PBS' American Masters: Maurice Sendak

"I'm the face baby, is that clear,
I'm the face baby, is that clear,
I'm the face if you want it,
I'm the face if you want it, dear,
All the others are third class tickets by me, baby, is that clear."
-The Who

That infamous face on Mars, you know the one, the lump of rocks some have speculated was built by an ancient civilization

Yep, that's the one. Well, mythology aside, in 2001 we learned that it really looks like the photo on the right:

Behold the face!!!

"Thanks to the best images ever taken of the much-discussed face, scientists have conclusively determined it's just an unusual formation of mountains, landslides and valleys. Sorry all you conspiracy theorists and alien enthusiasts, but the Mother Ship ain't comin'."

Oh technology, you know-it-all bitch!

Anousheh Ansari paid a cool 20 mil to go to space and face the final frontier, the woman has balls and in zero gravity I bet there all over the place, anyhoo, she's got a flickr account devoted to her space images and it's tre' cool, enjoy. [via]

Let us not forget our own lovely planet, and if it takes a rodent to remind us that we are our own worse enemy, then so be it!
"All is One"
The rodent has spoke.
[via AIS]

And finally, we think Laura Bush might know a thing or two on how to use a Buttplug..err..Bushplug. *shiver*
E to the W = EW!
[BWE]

Have a super fantastic day!

Bill Clinton snapped when FOX's sniveling, self righteous Chris (blame it on the "emailers") Wallace asked him about Bin Ladin and everybody, yes, both sides of the fence having been criticizing him since. Why? Because he acted human. The man reacted with a "I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me" response to a pompous weasel's question and now he's the "crazy", "defensive" former president. The fact that Wallace even asked the question was supreme bullshit, because although the facts are out there, they choose not to believe the facts.

Nora Ephron talks of how Clinton's people let his socks show, accusing the former POTUS of showing skin (read: human nature). We all snap sometimes, to varying degree's, but we do. It's like when someone tells a gorgeous person they're ugly every five minutes and finally the pretty, albeit flustered, person snaps screaming "I am pretty, fucking GORGEOUS even!! What is it you don't choose to see?!" People see what they want to see. Blinded by personal beliefs and perceptions, people are a fallible lot, fleshy schmoo's just trying to make it through another day and thankful when not driven to the edge of insanity.

Clinton snapped, because he could, just like the blow-job from the human humidor, why the fuck not? (That's not to excuse his behavior, trust me, I've totally boycotted the smoking of cigars.) But the thing is is that our former POTUS - not unlike our current POTUS - is human, sure he is brilliant beyond compare (the former, not the latter, duh), but the bottom line is that the man is made of flesh and bones just like you and me and when boxed into a corner will defend himself as he sees fit, savage - why yes it is. So, now the criticisms fly around like an airborne disease; "he's too bipartisan" "his socks were showing" boo-fucking-hoo.

At what point did being human become a undesirable trait?

It is our humanity that has brought us to the world to which we live in now, and it is critical that Clinton continue his bipartisan path and his audacity of hope. Clinton sets the example of how politics should work by agreeing to disagree but willing to work with those you disagree with to reach a common goal - survival. So, while the pundits have their heyday with Clinton's defensive reaction to Wallace's inane question all I have to say is to err is human, to forgive is divine and lord knows I'm divine. ;) See, I made this all about my divine chubby ass, forgive me, it's human nature.

UPDATE: Thanks to Gary @ Declarations for sharing yet another brilliant link to Keith Olberman's response of this "Clinton snaps" bullshit. I'm not certain how Olberman gets in my head and says what I'm thinking more eloquently than I ever could, it's freaky and I like it! Truth to power.

A textbook definition of cowardice by Keith Olberman [video and text]

Side note: Speaking of the audacity of hope, Senator Barack Obama will speak and sign copies of his new book The Audacity Of Hope at Benaroya Hall October 26th tickets are $5 and do not include the autographing party.

I just watched NBC's Heroes and let's just say it reminded me of terrific first date. You know the kind, the connection, no weird silences, the laughter and so far all the expectations have been exceeded. It's only downhill from here, because I'm hooked. It's dreamy mc dreamville, however, there could very well be hairy asses and ass acne in the future, but for right now, this first date rocked!


Bitch better call.

"Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself."-Salman Rushdie

It's that special time of year again, that time of year that we are reminded that not everyone thinks the same. Banned Book Week reminds us of that every year, but I cannot imagine a life without having read Catcher in the Rye, Are You There God It's Me Margaret, Harry Potter, The Color Purple, To Kill A Mockingbird or The Handmaids Tale.

We are a country of ideas, some good, some bad, but without exposure to these "ideas" we are nothing more then cogs in the wheel ofanother's machinery, why breathe at all if your not breathing for yourself?

Read a Banned Book this week, your brain will thank you and your imagination will soar, not a bad afternoon if I say so myself. Which I did, I said so - myself. I've got the freedom to do that, well, now I do, tomorrow's another story, which hopefully, won't be banned.

The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
     
     

Explore Banned Books on Google

It's as though I'm drowning in snot, I'm the snot monster. After going the better part of the year without a single cold I get two in a month! It started in the nose. A sneeze here, a sneeze there. After a day of that and thoughts of what to do with the mountain of tissue surrounding my body like the freakin' shroud of Turin, I realized this wasn't just a "sinus" day, but a full blown cold that would soon take up camp in my lungs. My taste buds are shot, but it doesn't stop me from eating a chocolate kiss that tastes like um...nothing. OMG.

Dr. Wayne Dyer in one of his many lectures on PBS, talks of how he hasn't had a cold in a gazillion years, because, he tells his brain that he absolutely won't get a cold and his brain responds with wellness. So, I have a little chat with my brain
"you will not get sick, mmmmmkay??" My brain didn't respond, instead I sit here with snot bubbles, no taste buds and a healthy load of ookie googies residing in my lungs. Super swell! Fortunately I have plenty of sinus meds, the Nyquil from the last cold and some Robitussin - DM that expired two years ago, lol.

I'm going to have another little chat with my brain today, we'll talk of what it feels like to be healthy and not drowning in ookie googies and if my brain doesn't listen I'm going to give it a time out, wait. I have this heinous cold because my brain took a time out...omg, I can't think...oh yeah, brain is on time out....help. LOL, have a loverly day.

Ben Affleck is everywhere lately and it seems the world may just now be prepared to forgive him for his grotesque PDA with J-Lo. We love to look at the man, so thanks America, thanks for letting me look again and here's the thing Jersey Girl is not that bad of a movie, really, trust me, or not. Also we'd like to thank The Daily Show for Clinton on Monday (yes, it's a twisted crush, but it's all mine! Mine I say!! Muahahahah!) Affleck on Tuesday, yowza! And tonight...the ever yummy Johnny Knoxville. It's a freakin' smorgasboard of yumminess or my rotting hormones are playing a dangerous game of field hockey in my body. All I have to say about that is "Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaallllll!"

Have a loverly day! *Sigh*

Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It's "Talk Like A Pirate" Day!
When laptops are benches God gave us for wenches,
And a sail ain't a low price to pay!
When timbers are shivered and lillies are livered
And every last buckle is swashed,
We'll abandon our cars for a shipfull of ARRRs
And pound back the grog till we're sloshed. Yo ho ....

- Anyone see my keys?
- Just off the coast o' Florida, matey! ARRR!
[Download the offical Pirate Song @ iTom

I almost forgot, today is Talk Like A Pirate day, celebrate, arrr!

Every and any step to make this world a better place is a step in the right direction.

This week just blazed by, blocks of time dissipate in a blink, I love this aging bullshit. I watched ABC's Path to 9-11 (a road less traveled) and I learned that this whole mess wouldn't be happening if not for Monica Lewinsky's suckling abilities, but I think with Whitney Houston separating from Bobby Brown we may have found be our saving grace as Bin Laden has a Houston crush. So Whitney, if your reading this, spread that "black love" to Afghanistan, pronto. And don't worry if you can't find him, he'll be in the cave we haven't looked in. Oh yeah, and wear a blue dress, thanks.

If I haven't mentioned it, we like the Rosie on The View, it's good to see the lesbians get their due on morning television and speaking of morning t.v. yesterday I watched Tyra Banks remove all her make-up, wash her face and then moisturize her breasts, granted they were covered with a camisole and titslinger, but still, if you think I have an ass fetish, then Tyra's got a serious boobie fixation.


And finally for all you Project Runway whores, the collections for the finale have marched the catwalk this week in New York. VH1's Best Week Ever has a good sampling of what we'll see on the boob tube next week, or the following week whenever it is the outfits are out there and now you judge. As for my picks, this year it's all about Laura and Uli's stuff, Micheal kind of fell into a Foxy Brown abyss and forgot to come up for air and as for the rocker Jeffrey, well, real women don't resemble Manga characters, never have, never will, much to the chagrin of adolescent boys and girls everywhere. I've loved some of his stuff, but the runway line...oy. Judge for yourself and have a super dandy weekend!!!

The president says that "most" Americans find article three of the Geneva Convention to be "vague".

Article 3

In the case of armed conflict not of an international character occurring in the territory of one of the High Contracting Parties, each party to the conflict shall be bound to apply, as a minimum, the following provisions:

1. Persons taking no active part in the hostilities, including members of armed forces who have laid down their arms and those placed hors de combat by sickness, wounds, detention, or any other cause, shall in all circumstances be treated humanely, without any adverse distinction founded on race, colour, religion or faith, sex, birth or wealth, or any other similar criteria.

To this end the following acts are and shall remain prohibited at any time and in any place whatsoever with respect to the above-mentioned persons:

(a) Violence to life and person, in particular murder of all kinds, mutilation, cruel treatment and torture;

(b) Taking of hostages;

(c) Outrages upon personal dignity, in particular, humiliating and degrading treatment;

(d) The passing of sentences and the carrying out of executions without previous judgment pronounced by a regularly constituted court affording all the judicial guarantees which are recognized as indispensable by civilized peoples.

2. The wounded and sick shall be collected and cared for.

An impartial humanitarian body, such as the International Committee of the Red Cross, may offer its services to the Parties to the conflict.

The Parties to the conflict should further endeavour to bring into force, by means of special agreements, all or part of the other provisions of the present Convention.

The application of the preceding provisions shall not affect the legal status of the Parties to the conflict.

Yep, look at all the shades of gray, apparently the Geneva Convention is a lot like the Bible, Koran and men reading maps - the only interpretation that matters is that of the readers and that's some scary shit, the very same shit we're wading through in mid-east.

I hate being woken up by the President, it pisses me off that he talks down to us and the world. Hell, we're the idiots (well, half the country is) that made him our president, so he's going to talk to us like we're unruly, uncivilized children. Well, fuck you Mr. President, article three is no more vague than "Mission Accomplished". Perhaps he should follow in Tony Blair's footsteps, but I'm afraid his arrogance won't let him, the asshole. Bah.

Why wouldn't cartoons have skeletons? Portland artist Michael Paulus gets all Skelator on a few of our favorites here. Very cool.[via]

And now Mr. David Sedaris @ the New Yorker

IN THE WAITING ROOM
The advantages of speaking French.
by DAVID SEDARIS

Six months after moving to Paris, I gave up on French school and decided to take the easy way out. All I ever said was "Could you repeat that?" And for what? I rarely understood things the second time around, and when I did it was usually something banal, the speaker wondering how I felt about toast, or telling me that the store would close in twenty minutes. All that work for something that didn’t really matter, and so I began saying, "D'accord," which translates to “I am in agreement,” and means, basically, "O.K." The word was a key to a magic door, and every time I said it I felt the thrill of possibility.

"D'accord," I told the concierge, and the next thing I knew I was sewing the eye onto a stuffed animal belonging to her granddaughter. "D'accord," I said to the dentist, and she sent me to a periodontist, who took some X-rays and called me into his conference room for a little talk. "D'accord," I said, and a week later I returned to his office, where he sliced my gums from top to bottom and scraped great deposits of plaque from the roots of my teeth. If I'd had any idea that this was going to happen, I'd never have said d'accord to my French publisher, who'd scheduled me the following evening for a television appearance. It was a weekly cultural program, and very popular. I followed the pop star Robbie Williams, and, as the producer settled me into my chair, I ran my tongue over my stitches. It was like having a mouthful of spiders—spooky, but it gave me something to talk about on TV, and for that I was grateful.

read the rest here. D’accord?

Have a super dandy day!

My lan line went tits up this past weekend, there was no dial tone and I recieved a variety of peculiar late night calls I can't answer from a certain Guadalupe, Roxa in Florida. I don't know who you are Roxa and personally I could give a rats ass, because if it's 11:30 on the Pacific Coast, it's 2:30 in Florida and I can only presume your drunk off your ass when you call. All I hear when I pick up the reciever is crunchy noise.

Ms. Guadalupe, you've called every night for the past 3 nights and here's the thing...I'm done with your drunk ass and late night calls, the phone company has been here and we have found that it's their equipment that has gone to rot and when my phone is finally fixed, I'll be able to answer, so be prepared. Listen, If no one answers the line, there is no reason to call a 5 or 6 more times just to make sure you dialed the right number, it's obvious that you didn't, you dumbass drunk dialer.

Roxa deary, I have had to unplug my phone at night because of you and that's just bullshit and speaking of bullshit, just calling the phone company was a nightmare in it's self, I couldn't get a "live" person to save my life! This morning I finally get a call from the technician and unfortunately the poor guy got an ear full of "who the hell is Roxa Guadalupe and why is the bitch calling me so late and why can't I answer her drunk ass? "And why don't you ever get a "live" person when you call the phone company?" the man stared at me and said "where's your phone at?" That was it, he said nothing more and never quite gave me eye contact. Sure, I looked a bit crazed holding a bunch of empty water bottles I had collected from around the apartment so that he wouldn't think I was a slob with a water fetish, so along with that and my ever attractive morning look of Edward Scissorhand hair and unconfined breasts bobbling about my mid section, (a scary sight to say the least), that's what you get at 8 a.m., but thanks for the prompt service and um...sorry about the dragon breathe and um...hey "How YOU doin'?" ;) ;)

My phone is fixed now, all is well, but listen up Roxa I got your number and a bottle of Jagermeister with your name on it. Cheers!

September 11th is no longer just any ol' day, it's a devastating reminder of hate, incompetence and the sheer self centered nature we humans employ, but here's the thing...my eggs also expired today, the rotten selfish bastards! Sure, I could risk it and boil the buggers, but just coming off of a stomach virus so heinous my bungholio is still raw, I'll pass.

There will be plenty of articles remembering what happened 5 years ago today, so I'll pass on the politics of it, basically we fucked up and the "evil doers" fucked up by fucking with us and then we fucked up some more to the point of one might think that we are fucked.

I wanted eggs for breakfast, but not today, today is a day for cereal methinks, chock full of those 11 essential vitamins I need to survive or I'm fucked.

Never forget the horror, the angst, the hate, the ignorance and hubris. The images are burned in our minds and the tears still come freely, I don't want to lose that, but what I really want is some food, eggs would have been nice, but I think they were terrorist eggs to begin with, hence the expiration date. There is always light at the end of the tunnel and I'll be basking in my light (read; Count Chocula, yum.)

Never forget. Have a loverly day!

I heard the familiar chirp from my little black cat Ruby, she chirps, apparently meowing is passe' in her world, but it's cute. However, this particular chirp was a demand to "get the fuck out of bed or I'll piss on you" chirp. I rolled over. She pissed right on top of me.

I thought nothing of it when she starting using her front paws to scratch at the sheets, she likes to hide and play in the folds of blankets, it's not unusual. What is unusual is the warmth I felt on my hip approximately 3 minutes after I started to amuse my waking moments watching her..."play". And then I smelled it, and then I was PISSED literally and figuratively, damnit.

Ruby is pissed about something and the only thing I can figure is that she's sick of seeing my ass around the apartment, it's her not-so subtle way of telling me to get my ass back to work. Perhaps the piss assault was brought on because I changed the direction of my bed, once North/South, now East/West. I don't know, but what I do know is that is no way to wake up, being treated like a cat box and all.

All right already, I'll find a job, after I wash all my goddamned linens that is. But listen up Ms. Ruby, I like where the bed is at so I hope that's not what your pissed about, if it is I'll be on you like Democrat all over a pissy (heh) and decidedly conservative 9-11 movie, because I like the position of the bed.

I should thank her for dragging my lazy ass out of bed before 9 a.m., if pissing on the "bringer of food" is motivation, then perhaps Tony Robbins could learn a thing or two. Oh how I wished that cats could talk, but alas, they meow or in this case "chirp" when they're pissed and then I get pissed on. Happy Friday, "chirp".

Damn it.

Sure, I should be going off on Paris Hilton for her DUI, but then again, as far as we know, Ms. Hilton opted out of the Jews as warmongers defense. So, congratulations Paris, I knew you had it in you. Cheers! ;)

Now back to our program:


[via cute overload]

I laughed. I cried. And then I kind of laugh-cried, lol. He was a crazy passionate man and he made those crocs feel beautiful, again, RIP.

[More Irwin Ode's @ Cagle]

Now the asinine countdowns will stop and guess what, she looks like a freakin' baby! I was expecting scales or perhaps an antennae, but she's just another, gorgeous, probably smells like peaches kind of baby. However, I do find interesting that ever since the asswhomping by Redstone we get a picture we don't necessarily have any right to demand to see and Brooke gets an apology...it's almost suri-listic? Bah ha ha. Ahem.

Humility: 2 Ego:0

I'm thinking a baby that really needs attention is this baby:

Baby Helaim.
That is if she's still alive and if she is her prospects aren't that great - starvation, rape. Yeah, sorry all about it Suri, she's the baby that needs her face plastered everywhere.

And just to show you I haven't lost the sense of humor...
What the Stingray said via Scott Adams:

STINGRAY: "Well, I was minding my own business, eating kelp or whatever-the-hell I eat, when this guy jumps in the water and yells 'Crikey!' like a crazy seal. So I killed him and then hired a co-author who is both handsome and talented. You will find his contact information in the back of this well-written book."

Funny. RIP Mr. Crocodile Man, you were AWESOME, CRIKEY!

Last Friday evening I attended the 826 Seattle Benefit - People Talking and Singing at McCaw Hall (one of 7 dates nationally for the "Book Eaters Tour") and that alone makes me hipper and wiser for the wear. While most of the world has no clue as to the who, what, where's of the event, I for one went to be entertained by the likes of John Hodgman, Dave Eggers, Sarah Vowell and Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket), it was all very literary and composed, really. And what do smart composed people like to do? Sing in a sing-a-long with Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton (a nice little Zombie ditty whence this blog post is named for)of course. There was music up the ying yang and once removed from the ying yang sounded awesome. There was a 3 act play penned and narrated by Daniel Handler, to which his college girlfriend may consider an "unfortunate event" ...har...har.

Overall it was a fabulous event to which I'm certain that I'll attend it again next year. The Seattlest has a nice review of the event allowing my lazy ass to not go on and on about it, but fear not...I will continue on, lucky you.

Sarah Vowell and Dave Eggers @ 826 Seattle Benifit
A mid-show collection basket proved that, in Seattle, Bill Gates isn't the only only generous geek in the area raising over $10,000 for 826 Seattle, the most money raised by far (Sorry all about it New York) and because big bucks were raised we were blessed at the closing with a rendition of "Dracula's Daughter" with spoken word from one of the Smoosh girls and all the rest of the gang (you can watch my crappy snippet here). Rock n' Roll at it's finest! Yes, overstatement of the year being as "Dracula's Daughter" is a non-song, but you get the drift.

Speaking of Rock n' Roll, I followed up that event to attend a house warming party for the band Barefoot Barnacle, it was a hoot and we stayed too long and drank too much. Sleeping in proved to be futile as my niece Sara woke me up and summoned me to yet another romp 'round the Bumbershoot. Oy.

So, back up to the Seattle Center once more, but this time it was for Blondie, I figured that Debbie Harry is an icon and I just could not go through this life without experiencing a Ms. Harry & crew live show.

The show was amazing, she wore a very 80's-ish lime colored ensemble and sang all the hits her 60ish year old body could sing and we loved every minute of it. The only problem with the Blondie show is that it overlapped with the Chuck Palahniuk reading that we also wanted to see. After Blondie finished their fabulous set, closing with "Heart Of Glass", we rambled on over to the reading only to find out that the whole of Bagley Wright Theatre was full to capacity, sweet mary testostrone laden mother of gawd! Rejected, I went and bought a copy of Believer and joined Sara and co. on the lawn by the fountain, this afforded me a much needed "recoup" time, also we had some time before The Thermals show (btw, they so rocked, a loss-hearing good time was had by all.)

From there I went home, exhausted, a smidge hungover, but happy and sated with 24 hrs of literature, music and art that I'm still recovering from, well... at least I don't want to eat your brains anymore...I think. mmmmm

Welcome to year 5 of the Spew. It's been a weird year for me, a year of change, the beginning of the "change" and assorted small change. Posting has been as irregular as Fat Bastard's bowel movements, but what are you gonna do? I have enjoyed sharing the multitude of fabulous crap I've found on the internet with you, because in the blogosphere redundancy is our bitch and we serve her obligingly.

Going forward, I hope that I can continue to titillate you with stories of no consequence and opinion direct from my raging ovaries. It's good to share with the fine folks of this spinning rock. Also, I'd like to thank the current administration for giving us all the fodder a blogosphere truly needs to keep it's self afloat in this hyperlinked world.

Happy Blogoversary to me and a very Merry Unblogoversary to all the millions of other blogs out there, represent!

I don't know where it went, but it's been gone since last Wednesday and now it's back, fascinating, really.